My Favorite Blonde

Curagoa, cointreau, creme de menthe, grenadine and kimmel.

Each in its own stratum, minding its own affair.

Congratulations, miss Bentley. It takes a steady hand to pour a pousse-café.

I missed my vocation. I should've been a barmaid.

I have to move these bottles. We're in the harbor now.

What happened? They're on to us.

Scorpion... they mustn't get it.

It's under my coat lapel. Take it and go.

Are you badly hurt, captain elvan? Whatever happened?

- There's no time for questions. You know how it works? - Yes, yes, of course.

You'll have to carry on alone. A cab will be waiting for you.

Remember, you're being watched. Surely there's something I can do for you.

No, no. Please go immediately before it's too late.

"Failed. British agent now has scorpion containing flight plans.

She wears raincoat and brown hat with feather."

Get your night edition! Paper!

Paper, sir! Paper! Paper! Get your night edition!

Paper! Get your night edition!

Paper!

Paper! Get your night edition!

Someone phone for an ambulance. Anyone get the number?

Let me through, please. I'm a doctor.

This girl is dead, doctor.

They changed clothes in the taxi.

Break it up, folks. Come on now. Get moving. Break it up.

We've had to change that. All airports are watched.

You'll have to get there some other way. Right.

In Chicago, I'm to proceed to 1350 north lakeshore drive

to an apartment rented to Mr. and Mrs. Michael marlowe.

I will be Mrs. marlowe. Correct.

There I will hand over the scorpion to marlowe. Right.

Then your job is done. Here.

You'll need this. Thanks.

Get on the floor, quick. And stay there.

Get out. Hurry.

If you're caught, get rid of the scorpion. No matter what, get rid of it.

What are you lookin' for, sister? Oh, ii...

Come on, come on. Well, I, uh... I, uh...

Yes, I want to talk to two friends of mine. Haines and Percy.

They're on stage. You can talk to Haines, but you won't get much out of Percy.

Okay, sister, dressing room four. They'll be up in a minute.

Thanks.

Wants to talk to Percy? That oughta be something.

Here's your fish, Perce.

Professor, if you please.

Don't get up, ladies.

Toodle-00.

You got relatives out there?

Thank you.

Listen, you character.

If you keep hogging this act, you and me are gonna have a talk with a taxidermist.

Here's your salary.

What, do you want it all?

There. Don't forget your blackout.

Heard about Percy going to Hollywood, Mr. Haines. Congratulations.

You going to be in the picture too? The picture's built around me.

I'm in and out all the time. In and out all the time.

Hollywood. Gee, that's big stuff.

I didn't want to go, but they kept dangling platinum swimming pools in front of me.

Here, give these to the prop man. Sure.

How were they for you tonight? A little tough, but I murdered 'em.

Come on, Perce.

Mr. Percy? Yes, I...

Haines. That's not my real nose. This is it.

- I'll put it back on. - Will you please close the door?

Close it? Close it.

Lock it. Lock it?

Lock it.

Hey, what am I doing? Sit down.

Sit down? Sit down.

Wait a minute. What... Shh. Don't talk so loud.

I was shouting, wasn't I? There's no time to lose.

Do you know what it feels like to be followed, hounded and watched every second?

I used to. Now I pay cash for everything.

Look at me. I'm looking.

You've got to trust me. I'm not through looking yet.

You mustn't ask any questions. I'm asking. I mean, I'm not asking.

My name's Karen Bentley. I can't tell you any more.

My name's Larry Haines. There's no more to tell.

Oh, I read your telegram. I'm sorry.

That? That isn't the way it is at all.

Perce plays a bit in the picture. The whole thing's built around me.

I'm in and out all the time. Weaving in and out.

I noticed you were packing. When are you leaving for Los Angeles?

- Huh? - Los Angeles. When is your train leaving?

Is that your own hair, or did you scalp an angel?

Please, I must know. When are you leaving and when is your train leaving?

Are those your own eyes? Both of them?

I'm in very serious trouble. Please tell me what train you're taking.

I'm going now. It's gone. It's going. I'm going now, tonight.

That's good, because I'm going part way with you. That'll be...

Yeah? I've got to get to Chicago.

That's fine. We'll go by way of the Panama canal.

What's your name? Please, Mr. Haines, you're not listening to me.

Yes, I am. I said every word you heard.

Let's get out of here. Finish your packing. Get dressed.

Hurry. Hurry.

Hurry? I'm flyin'.

Say, honey. I mean, miss Bentley. My, what a pretty hat.

Do you mind if I ask you a couple of things?

For instance, like, a couple of things?

I told you, no questions. Please do as I ask.

You know, I haven't dressed this fast since...

Oh, silly me. It's a two-pants suit. I put the coat on.

Be calm. I'll...

Well, I'm ready.

Charles boyer on a foggy day.

Or Crosby on any day. Come on. Let's go.

Who's there? Oh.

Oh. Pardon me.

I say, would you mind lending me your beret?

I guess so. What for? My hatband's so tight. It gives me an awful headache.

Say, it looks good on you too.

I hate to wear this other hat. I was saving it for easter.

The coat too? Oh, no, thank you.

Did you get two pair of coats with that suit?

Bit of all right. What? All right, old girl.

Now you're cookin' with petrol. Shall we away or somethin' like that?

I've never seen a coat like... switch.

It's pretty too.

Bye, Mr. Haines. Cab"s outside. Thanks, Dan.

Good luck. Hope you kill 'em. Bye, Perce.

Keep your nose clean. And that ain't kleenex.

Come on. Let's go. The cab's out this way.

What's that Jekyll-and-Hyde stuff? You been drinkin' pixie juice? Come on.

Say, Jack, remember "dat" week in "wacko" when we was flip and nip?

Boy, did we panic 'em, did we wow 'em!

And "dat" hotel, floppy Louie's.

Was it crawlin'? Was it crawlin'?

Yeah. Flip and nip and floppy Louie were sisters.

I know 'cause I'm their mother.

You're a riot! You're a panic!

- Jack, you kill me! - Your tonsils went that way.

We can stay at "dat" rooming house in Chinatown. They don't know us "dere."

Say, what's all this "dese, dose and dem" stuff? A new character?

I don't get it at all.

What's this flip and nip, this floppy Louie stuff? No questions, please.

I'm being followed by two men in black.

You sure you don't mean two men in white?

Magazines, newspapers and periodicals. Downtown papers.

"No questions, no questions." I gotta ask questions!

You don't even stop to buy a ticket. I'll get it on the train.

Wait a minute. Let's not get physical. Shh.

I thought I heard them. That was my heart draggin'.

There's something screwy here.

Come on, Mr. Percy. Haines.

Look, sister, I've been around a lot, but you're driving me daffy.

I thought we were gonna have a beautiful romance.

I thought for a change a dame was trying to pick me up, but now I don't know.

Look, you don't want to take this train. It's noisy and crowded.

Why don't you fly? The airports are all being watched.

You don't need a plane. A girl with your talent just has to flap her arms.

Mr. Haines, where's your noblesse oblige?

I gave it to the redcap.

You can't pass me off with a joke. I'm going with you.

Good-bye! Good-bye!

You're going with me, so good-bye?

Good-bye! Good-bye! Hello.

Don't forget to take your pills. And that green stuff, take lots of that. It's good for you.

But don't you drink any more. You've got a snootful now.

Good-bye, angel face. Hate to see you going. Give my best to aunt Lucy!

Yes. And how 'bout uncle flip nip? What am I saying?

Don't worry about winky and pinky. I'll see they don't ride their bicycles in traffic.

How they gonna ride bicycles in straitjackets? Winky and pinky!

Whatever happened to stinky?

She's... winky and pinky, they're two little...

Come on. Let's go.

Board!

Oh, excuse me.

Where does this train make its first important stop? Albany.

Where can I get a taxi for laguardia airport? Right around the corner.

Thank you.

Quick!

You're sure it was the scorpion she fastened on that man? I'm positive.

Do you think he knows he has it? I don't think so.

He's in the club car now. Good.

"Hollywood inks Percy. Nixes Haines."

Walit'll they ask me for an ad.

Hi.

How are you?

It's my partner. We do an act...

Sunglasses.

For nighttime.

How...

I was just...

Just...

Cig?

And...

Allowed to smoke in here, you know.

Oh, just a fire.

I thought that... you know... oh!

I'll get it. It's all right. Don't get excited. I got it.

- Fellas, let's spread out. - There's a fire... Albany!

Next stop, Albany. That's me.

I love a parade.

I beg your pardon. Huh?

- May I trouble you for a match? - Oh, sure. I...

"Mumble" me for a "trach"?

Oh. Oh!

Uh-oh. Your knife's showing.