Young Sheldon

Previously onYoung Sheldon...

Who are you? I'm Paige.

A unique child can require a lot of attention.

Try all the attention.

Barry and I haven't been in a good place in a long time.

This is oddly reminiscent of a dinner with my family.

Do you think Stone Age parents stayed together forever?

They had to. There were no lawyers.

Well, I think my parents are getting a divorce. Why?

They fight all the time.

About what? Mostly me.

I guess I'm lucky.

Why?

I'm the glue that holds our family together.

No more coffee?

Last cup.

Well, you mind making more?

I just sat down.

But you finished the pot.

George, if I wanted to make a cup of coffee,

I'd have stayed at my house.

Mmm.

One day I'm gonna put you in a home,

and I'm gonna smile just like that.

That's fine.

By then I won't know who you are anyway.

Guess who is getting a divorce.

About time. Congrats.

Linda and Barry Swanson.

Who's that? A-And can you tell me how to make coffee?

They're Paige's parents.

Who?

The little smart girl.

Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard.

I guess she's been having trouble in school.

Aw, poor thing.

Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence,

you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit.

What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon?

I don't know what to say about that.

So, good news.

Paige is gonna spend the weekend with us.

My history with Paige

brought up complicated feelings.

She challenged me.

Do you know if you'll be doing

a full-color octet calculation

with matrix manipulations?

I know you're in my spot.

She disturbed me.

Hi, Sheldon!

She enraged me.

Checkmate.

Things were simpler

for my simple-minded sister.

Yay!

Shelly, I got you something.

The Professor Proton Science Kit!

Wait a minute.

Last time you gave me a present for no reason,

I had to get a booster shot.

Nothing like that.

I was just thinking, it might be a fun thing for you

to share with Paige.

Sharing. Sometimes I feel like you don't know me.

Paige is having a rough time at home right now,

and I think she could really use a friend.

A crocodile could really use a meal,

but that doesn't mean I should leap into his mouth.

Shelly, I am asking you to do this for me.

This was the woman

who cut the crusts off my sandwiches.

She had me. Into the mouth I go.

Why haven't you mowed the lawn?

I been busy.

Well, you're not busy now.

I'm working out.

Got the word "work" right there in it.

Get out there and mow.

Why? I'm making good money.

I don't need an allowance, so I don't need to do chores.

It's not about that.

You're part of this family, you still need to help out.

So I'm just here to do your bidding?

Well, and people say Sheldon's a genius.

I just want to remind you both to please be sensitive

about the situation with Paige's family.

She's talking to you, dingus.

Both of you.

Hi, come in.Hello.

Hi, Missy. Hi, Sheldon.

What did you do to your hair? Is this because

your parents got divorced?

Dingus.

Well, she just really wanted to,

and I thought, you know, under the circumstances,

why not?

Well, I think it looks great.

So, can I have pink...?

No. Why don't you kids go play?

I'd rather have pink hair than together parents.

I don't blame you.

Well, it's about time.

Hi, Mr. Cooper!

Billy. What are you doing?

I'm mowing the lawn.

What are youdoing?

Did Georgie put you up to this?

Yeah. He's paying me.

That dummy.

I'm raising the money to buy a Jet Ski.

I mean, I'm thrilled that he's gone,

but I do worry about how it's affecting Paige.

Of course.

You and George have such a beautiful family.

I think it's good for her to be around that right now.

Oh. Hey.

Nice to see you. Sorry about the divorce.

I got to go yell at my idiot son.

Georgie! Where are you?

You look great, by the way.

Oh, thanks. I started smoking again.

What the hell's wrong with you?

You think it's okay for Billy Sparks

to do yourwork?

I paid him.

I tried to give him two dollars, but he only wanted one.

Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying to teach you responsibility.

You can't just buy your way out of everything in life. You sure?

'Cause I'll give you ten bucks to leave me alone right now.

Go mow the lawn.

I'm not gonna say it again.

Fine. But I'm only doing this so you'll get off my back.

Oh, you'll know when I'm on your back, little man.

Now we can be hair twins.

Paige, you're supposed to be doing science with me.

That's boring.

I want to do something dangerous.

This isdangerous. We don't have an eye wash station.

Let's go to the mall. Mom doesn't like the mall.

She says the mannequins don't have enough clothes on,

but I think it's 'cause we're poor.

We are poor. I do our taxes.

Don't worry. I'll ask her.

Ever since my parents got divorced,

people can't say no to me.

My mom promised she would take me to the mall to get me

a new backpack, but she was so busy

cleaning my dad's stuff out of the garage

that I think she forgot.Oh.

Of course I can take you. Anything you need.

Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.

Will you marry me?

Why are you taking a backpack to the mall?

This is my mall safety kit.

Earplugs to drown out crowd noise,

Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails,

a compass, a map of the mall,

and a whistle, in case I get lost

or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle.

You want to stuff him in there, right?

No.

Okay, Paige,

where should we go to get your backpack?

The Hello Kitty store. I would help you find it, but this subpar mall map

isn't even oriented north.

Let's go. All right, have fun at the Hello Kitty store,

and meet me at the fountain in half an hour.

Just to be clear, there are no actual kitties, right?

I can't imagine talking to my dad

the way this kid talks to me.

I'd have had a belt on my backside so fast...

My dad was a hugger.

I had to tell him three times to mow the lawn,

and he still gave me attitude.

He's going to school, holding down a job.

If he was my kid, I'd be proud of him.

I am proud of him.

When he's not being a total pain in my ass.

You ever tell him you're proud?

He knows.

I think it's important for children to hear it.

You don't even have kids.

I teach and coach teenage boys.

I also put up with your childish nonsense.

Georgie's just being so damn disrespectful,

I don't want to reward that.

All right.

My father never said he was proud of me.

I turned out just fine.

George, I'm just trying to have a nice day,

make some white folks uncomfortable.

Can you please?

This isn't the Hello Kitty store.

No. It's Hot Topic.

What's the topic, devil worship? Hey,

did you know there's a bow tie section in the back?

Why would they hide that in the back?

Ooh. What's that?

Body glitter.