Something to Talk About

- Oh, my God! - Don't do that!

- Make a noise. - You'll give me a heart attack.

What's on the docket for today?

Daddy's coming to the barn for a meeting with me and Hank...

...about the Grand Prix.

What for?

He likes to grind us every year about this time. Makes him feel in control.

Where's the doodlebug?

Getting dressed. Caroline, what are you doing?

- Can I ride? - If we have time.

Where have you been all night?

Sleeping.

Mom, am I gonna ride?

If we have time. Now, please, go finish getting ready.

- Go, go. - Quick, quick.

Shit!

I'm sorry.

- I don't know what's wrong with me. - You did it again.

We'll find you a new mother.

KING FARMS

Harry, take the trailer to Mack's to pick up Joe's Whimsy at 4:30.

Sheila will ride with you, help you get squared away.

Tell Hank before you go, so he can be here.

No problem.

Hey, Raymond.

Good boy.

Good morning.

Caught you! Were you trying to bribe Possum?

Hey, Gramps.

It'll make Miss Lily jealous, and she'll dump you in the ring.

You gotta save the treats for the horse you're gonna ride.

Please, let me.

I don't want to ride a pony. I want to ride a horse.

- Hank says I'm big enough. - Hold on.

First of all, you can win on Miss Lily.

You're gonna win on Miss Lily.

See? See how strong my legs are?

I must put you down. Have mercy on an old man. Listen to me.

You must learn to recognize your limitations.

Gramps, why? I'm ready.

I've been practicing. I know I can do it.

Have you discussed this with your mama?

You think I'd be here begging you if she had told me yes?

Just put me on that horse, and I'll win the Championship, I promise.

How come everyone thinks they can tell me when I'm ready?

I'm supposed to tell you when I'm ready, and I'm ready!

I'm running out of patience with you people.

Don't get all worked up. Help Dub. Earn your keep around here.

I gotta talk to your mama now.

- Hank, how's it going? - Great.

- Grace needs to see you. - Now?

No, I must see her for a minute. After that, okay?

- Yes, sir. - Good.

Hi, Daddy.

Have A Heart went on the market last week.

Yeah.

You know the one in California, Jamie Johnson's horse?

He won the Hampton Classic in September.

- I know the horse. How much? - $150,000.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing. Jamie's selling 'cause of his divorce.

Anyway, I bought him.

You did what?

I got a feeling about him. I think it's going to be his year.

He's got Grand Prix champion written all over him.

And I'm going to ride him.

But, Daddy, without even discussing it with us?

There's nothing to discuss.

- What about Ransom? Hank is- - Mom!

- Dub said I could ride Possum. - Not now. In a minute.

Ransom's not ready.

I don't have the same feeling about Ransom.

You'll ride against Hank and Ransom?

We won't enter Ransom. He can wait another year.

Daddy, Hank will quit.

Here's a good opportunity for you to utilize your people skills so he doesn't.

- Hear me? You understand? - You can't do this.

- It's not fair. - It's done.

Now, roll with it.

Goddamn! Shit! Son of a bitch!

You watch that mouth now.

- She can see you now. - Okay.

Goddamn it, I quit. I don't need this shit.

- Hank, wait. - I wish he'd die in a fiery car crash.

I know. Get in line. Listen.

No, you listen. I'm not sitting by while he ruins my career.

This is Ransom's year. This is it!

- Give me time. I'll make him see reason. - Like hell.

You can't do this to me!

Grace, is Daddy in there?

No.

Wait up.

I have a Charity League. Did you know about this, Emma Rae?

What? The horse thing?

- Thanks for telling me. - Check your machine.

Grace, wait!

God help me.

I can't believe it.

On to the business of our centennial cookbook. We want it to be our best...

...so I'll ask our committee chairman to bring us up to date.

Right.

Deadline for recipe submissions is the second.

Think about substituting vegetable shortening wherever it says lard.

I say this because Nell McGee's husband is recovering from heart surgery.

Lucy's going to take over for me until after the Grand Prix.

That's it.

- Names. - Right.

The committee thinks that...

Well, we've looked at a lot of other cookbooks.

We've always been listed with our married names under the recipes.

Frankly, the practice of excluding our first names looks outdated.

So, I think we should list our names: first, middle and last.

That's all.

I always thought the way it was looked quaint.

It doesn't look quaint, Edna. It looks antiquated.

What about tradition?

If my name isn't there as Mrs. Franklin J. Caldwell Ill...

...then how the hell is anybody gonna know who I am?

Barbaranelle Caldwell, who's that? It could be his daughter.

- You wish. - Shut up.

Ladies, this isn't something that's going to be decided today.

If there's no further business, this meeting is adjourned. Thank you.

I'm proud to use my husband's name.

The fact I'm still married to him is one of my greatest accomplishments.

Your mother called. She wants to change the menu for the Grand Prix party.

Why? Everyone loves it.

She wants shrimp. She says she's sick to death of ham and barbecue.

They've been doing it that way for 35 years. Why does it bother her now?

Bring her over to my house and let me give her some lunch.

Mom.

I'm taking her to Miller's to be fitted for her riding habit. I promised.

Wonderful! Who you gonna ride?

- Possum. - Miss Lily.

See you later.

Is it because I don't have all my teeth?

We're not discussing it.

You have to wear them down. 'Bye, darling.

- 'Bye. - 'Bye, Aunt Rae.

FIRST UNION

- Why do buildings have stories? - What do you mean?

Why do they say 20 stories or 50 stories high?

Good question. I don't know. We'll look it up.

- Hi. - Hey.

Mom, green means go.

Bichon Partners.

Eddie Bichon's office, please.

Eddie Bichon's office.

Hello, June. Could I speak to Eddie?

Hi, Grace. He's not in.

He said he'd be in a meeting for the rest of the afternoon.

Did he say where?

No. If he calls in, should I have him call you?

- No. - All right.

The horse is being sold as part of the divorce settlement.

Dad's got him down to the low two's.

Dad wants me to go out to dinner with clients, so I'll be home by 11:00.

Kiss the doodlebug for me.

Hey, Grace. It's me. This meeting took longer than we thought.

Dad wants me to go out to dinner with these clients-

That's Daddy's car.

Baby, wait here.

You're busted.

- Hi, Daddy! - Get in the car.

Jesus Christ.

Get your ass out here, now.

Excuse me a second.

- Call 911! - Good luck!

- Is that your nightgown? - We came to get you.

Hi, tadpole. I'll put you in the car.

It's way past your bedtime. What are you doing up?

Get in the car, Grace.

Sweetheart, are you in?

- Get in the car. - No.

Will you please get in? You're making a spectacle of yourself.

You are making a spectacle of me!

What is wrong with you?

- I saw you. - What are you talking about?

I saw you.

The corner of Fourth and Union. You know what I'm talking about.

I saw you. You were with a girl in a red suit.

The same girl that's right in there.

Honey, I don't know what you think you saw...

...but that was not me.

That's it? That's all I get?

You're gonna stand here...

...and lie to me in the middle of the street?

What?

What do you want me to say?

I want you to say good-bye to Caroline.

Where are you going?

Home to Daddy?

Fuck you, Eddie.

Kiss Daddy good-bye, angel.

'"See you later, alligator. '"

'"After a while,'" I meant, '"crocodile. '"

Is Daddy in trouble?

Yes, baby, he is.

Don't worry.

He's in very big trouble.

Oh, Lord.