Sydney White

For Syd.

For Syd.

Yo, sign Syd's card.

It's for Syd.

Hey, Syd!

Got a little something for you.

What's this?

Just a little something.

Aw.

- You guys! - From all of us.

Is it a Stanley 22 Ounce Anti-vibe Framing Hammer?

No, it's better than that.

It's actually something you can use in college.

Come on.

- (GASPS) - (PAUL CHUCKLES)

I love it. Thanks, you guys.

Just don't spend all your time on it, okay?

I know that you have a scholarship to keep up with,

but you got to promise us all that you're gonna raise a little hell

- every now and then. (CHEERING) Yeah!

Don't worry, Dad, I'll smile for my mug shot.

Hmm.

I'm gonna miss everybody.

Stu, careful with the nail gun.

Big Ron! Hmm!

Hold me, please.

All right.

Good hug.

Back to work.

Okay, you're crushing me. Ow! My collarbone!

You know how people joke about being raised by wolves?

Well, I was raised by construction workers.

- What have you got? - Peanut butter. It's so good.

(WHISTLES) Mamacita!

Yeah!

I was only nine when my mom died.

Which means my formative years were left up to my dad.

Being a plumber did give him a certain unique perspective.

Now, these up here, are your fallipian...

That's not right, these are... Fallopian. These are your...

Let's just call them your lady tubes. All right?

Every month, you...

lay an egg.

Like a chicken.

My dad always did his best.

Understand?

But sometimes, a girl just needs her mom.

Sydney! Time to get a move on, sweetheart!

Wow.

You know, if your mom was here, she'd know exactly what to say.

She'd be so excited you're going to her school, gonna join her sorority.

I'm not in yet, Dad.

Girl, you're gonna fit into that place like a...

overflow tube in a pressure tank.

Come on, Dad. We said no mushy stuff.

Right. No mushy stuff.

Come here.

I love you, Dad.

Dear Sydney, I love you so much.

I'm so sorry I'm not there to see you off to college.

But since I can't be, I've put some of my favorite memories in this box.

Live every moment, Sydney.

Grab every opportunity.

And have fun in everything you do.

The friends you meet in college will be your friends for life.

Perhaps you'll fill this box with your own memories,

to pass on to your daughter someday.

And know that though I can't be there with you now,

I'm always right by your side, every step of the way.

Still the fairest of them all.

Well, hello there.

Oh, Hi. I didn't even know anyone was in here.

Oh, that's okay. People sometimes don't see me.

- I'm Dinky. - Oh, no, you're not.

No, silly, that's my name.

Oh, Dinky? That's your real name?

Of course not. My real name's Demetria Rosemead.

Dinky it is. Hi, I'm Sydney White.

Sydney White? The other Kappa legacy?

Daughter of Paul White and Deborah Lee, Kappa pledge class 1980?

- Yeah. - (GASPS)

I'm sorry, I feel bad I didn't order your background check.

I'm the other Kappa legacy!

Oh, my gosh! This is just so exciting!

I should've known they would've roomed us together for rush.

Don't get too comfortable. We're gonna move to the Kappa house!

We're gonna be sisters!

Yay. We're jumping now.

I've just been waiting to become a Kappa since I can remember.

All the women in my family were Kappas, too.

See, look. My momma gave me her when I was five.

She even has a little pledge pin.

She sure does.

Does she come with a mini Kappa dream house?

Oh... Oh, I wish.

Now, what were you thinking about wearing to the first rush party?

Let me... Let me just show you what I was thinking.

Okay.

Now, those... Those are my top five.

Wow. I don't even have a top one.

You know, I might have a skirt...

- Oh, no. - ...in here somewhere.

Did you have a luggage mishap?

- No. - Well, what about in that bag?

Oh. Oh, this bag.

Oh, wait until you see this!

My comic-book collection.

Oh, my...

Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah. Uh, you know what,

Why don't you just wear something of mine to the first rush party?

Oh, okay. Yeah. That might be best.

You know, this is gonna be fun.

Never really had a lot of girlfriends before.

Not just girlfriends.

Sisters.

I'd like to welcome Tyler Prince,

president of Beta Omega Rho fraternity.

Hey, everyone.

I've asked Tyler to come today to talk about a very special project.

- So, the plan is... - We have a golden opportunity

right on Greek Row.

The Vortex, where all those freaks live?

That's the golden opportunity?

No.

This is.

The Witchburn-Prince Greek Life Centre will soon break ground.

Tyler's parents and my parents have already donated the funds.

We just need to deal with the current tenants.

I've been assured by the administration

that this is a priority for the university for this year.

Okay, so text me.

This is silly. When are you gonna stop all this and come back to me?

You dumped me, remember?

It was middle school, what did I know?

I thought I was gonna marry a Backstreet Boy.

You still could.

I got to go pick up the keg.

Yeah, well, I got to go too.

- I wish we had the same size feet. - Oh, it's okay.

I mean, isn't the whole point of this whole sisterhood thing

that they like you for who you are?

Um... sure.

Nice.

Hello.

Welcome to SAU.

Hello.

Nice.

Three's company.

Whoa!

Oh, hang on.

Vortex Freak Show, starring Puppet Boy.

Oh, this is an official dork alert, man.

We got... We got Dork Skywalker.

Target acquired.

Incoming Moose missile!

Hey, you okay?

I... I...

You better keep this. You clearly need the practice!

- (THUD) Dude!

- Come on, Dinks. - Oh!

You do realize you just showed up the school's tight end.

Mm. I hope he's second string.

Tyler Prince. Beta president.

Sydney White. No title.

Sorry. This is Dinky.

But we're actually we're gonna be late to our first rush party,

so if you'll excuse us.

Oh, maybe he could help us find our way.