The Responder

Alright we'll, er, we'll try something different.

I, I wanna talk.

Of course.

Yeah, but I can't...

I can't.

I'm wrapped up in here, you know.

Look, I wanna speak, I wanna speak, Christ...

I wanna believe in ya, that you can help me...

but I've got another week of nights

stretching out in front of me, and I can feel it

I'm gonna crack.

Then let me help you, then.

Tell me what you want from this?

I wanna be a good bobby.

I wanna do good things.

Yeah?

I wanna be normal.

UPBEAT INDIE MUSIC PLAYS

Delta Patrol

are you able to take a look at a report of youths

causing rather a lot of annoyance on Park Street please?

# I'll take them home to beast #

# I'm that kinda beast #

# When I get home and I lay down at night #

Anyone available to respond to that last shout please?

SIRENS WAIL

# And when the dark bites #

And this guy appears to be dressed

at least from the waist up.

UPBEAT INDIE MUSIC PLAYS

TEENAGERS SHOUT

Do we have anyone available for a call marked IRIR please?

Anyone at all, Delta?

SIRENS WAIL

Instant response

I'm sorry to say it's 24b Stirling Avenue again.

CHRIS BREATHES HEAVILY

ALARM BEEPS

CHRIS SIGHS

God, you've polished off some of that.

Where are you storin' all that food?

Little chipmunk cheeks.

Sausage and mash again?

Yeah, she likes it.

She had it last night.

Beans last night, peas tonight.

Peas tonight.

She's gonna turn into a sausage.

No I'm not!

Yes you are. - KATE LAUGHS

PHONE BEEPS

Whoa, eh! - She got it.

Whoa, close.

I got that.

Work.

Eat.

The door, upstairs?

I'm sorry. - It's OK.

“Fee, fl, toe, tum.“ Said the giant as he hunted for Jack

who bought you this? - Nanny.

Do you like it?

It's OK.

It's not Pixar though, is it?

No. - It's borin'.

Read it though, please?

Oh, it's rubbish.

I know, but I like you readin' it.

Right, where were we?

The fee fi bit.

The fee fi bit, OK, so, listen.

Yeah?

The giant is runnin' after Jack

and he's gonna kick his head in.

He's goin' "Fee fi fo fum

I'm gonna batter you, you little!"

So Jack, was a little bit of a coward, if the truth be told

he does a runner, he slides down the beanstalk so fast

he gets a burn right on his bum, right?

You know like when you go down a rope at school?

CHRIS BREATHES HEAVILY

SOLEMN MUSIC

PEOPLE SHOUT

I swear to God, one of these days

I'm gonna take that dog!

He pooed all over the landing!

I could taste it while I was having me supper!

Supper?

Who do you think you are? - Right, listen, listen

Trevor, take it down matey, alright?

He threatened me! - I've threatened nobody!

That dog's-- - I know, I know.

I wanna make a complaint about him!

Nobody's makin' a complaint, alright?

He's a paedophile.

I'm not a paedophile! - Jesus Christ.

He sits there all day on his computer, wanking.

I do not! - I don't care if he does.

God knows what he's lookin' at.

I'm not wanking! - Fuckin' hands down, right?

With his bog roll and his underpants round his ankles!

Wank, wank, wank!

Mary, keep your fuckin' voice down

and get the dog in the flat

before I throw it over the fuckin' side.

All day she leaves it out here.

I know, I know what she does

cos you told me last night, didn't ya?

And three times last week.

I can't take much- - Why're you doing this to me?

What? - Answer the question, Trevor.

I, I, I don't know what.

Cos I've only been on duty five minutes

and here I am again.

But the poo! - Do you think I enjoy it?

No. - Finally.

Come on mate, look.

I'd get more sense out of that dog

than I would with her, right?

But you, you are just this side of normal.

I'm fuckin', I'm fuckin' strugglin' here, mate.

Do you understand me?

HIGH-PITCHED WHISTLE - But the poo!

Mate, if you do this one more time

I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya, do you understand me?

Alright?

Alright, good man, go inside now.

Get inside, Trev.

Good lad.

SOLEMN MUSIC

I came here to get fixed, right?

And we both know I'm not fixed.

If you take care for yourself and you support yourself

and most of all, you be kind to yourself, that will help.

I know but at the moment

it feels like you're just droppin' me off and driving away.

I've given you the tools. - Have you?

I don't mean that, yeah, I know you have, you have.

Thanks but I can't keep goin' home to them, right?

Like this, I'm a fuckin' shell, the job has ruined me.

Every night, there's spit on me face

there's blood on my boots and it never stops.

It's such important work.

Hmm, is it?

I don't think it is, I think it's whack-a-mole

except the moles wear trackies.

But you need to focus on the good that you do.

I can't remember the last time I did some good.

I don't think that's true.

It is.

SIRENS WAIL

CHRIS BREATHES HEAVILY

HIGH PITCHED DISTORTED WHISTLING

HE TUTS

PHONE VIBRATES

Yeah?

Have you seen her? - Who?

Casey.

Mate, I'm in the middle of workin' here.

I need to speak to her. - Who?

Who the...

You've got me swearin' in front of our Lexie here.

Say hello from me.

Say hello yourself, after you've found Town Centre Casey.

No mate, I can't do that.

Oh come on lad, sort it for me.

I'm not pickin' anyone up for ya.

But I need to speak to her.

I'm workin', Carl, I thought we had an understandin'

that when I'm working, we leave it alone?

Understandings are out the window lad, I just need Casey.

What's up?

It's nothin' to do with you.

No, you askin' me to find her is makin' it to do with me.

She's just a bag head, why'd you want her?

She owes me.

I'm a debt collector now?

Oh, Why're you makin' a song and dance out of this?

Just help me out, mate.

No, I'm not makin' a song and dance out of it mate

but it's not what our thing is, is it?

Our thing is-- - Jesus Christ!

You've got more song and dance than Sammy Davis Junior!

Find Casey!

PHONE CALL DISCONNECTS

Piss off, Carl, Christ.

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

She shouldn't be watchin' this, Carl

it's got killin' in it!

I'm alright! - It's not real killin'.

Right, how many times? She's too young!

Go brush your teeth.

Hey, hugs.

JODIE SIGHS

I've got to go out, babe.

Why tonight?

Because there's no rest for the wicked

and you of all people should know that.

Mm. - Mm?

You shouldn't be watchin' that, it's got killin' in.

Just go, knobhead.