Tropical Fish (熱帶魚)

压制: 阿聪锋狂 字幕ocr:双花红棍 特效字幕:双花红棍

大自然冥冥之中，有一股神秘的力量 Nature works in mysterious ways

住在台北的刘志强同学来信告诉我们 A young man named Liu has written to us from Taipei

他小时候捡到了一副助听器 He says he found a hearing aid in the street

当他戴上了之后 For fun. He tried it on...

发现这个助听器里时常传来一种神秘的声音 ... and heard something speaking to him

从此，这个世界有很多声音他听不到 Since then he hears less of everyday sounds

但是，这个助听器里的声音却告诉他 But the hearing aid tells him...

他正在培养一种超能力 ... he is gaining a super power...

以负起拯救这个世界的责任 ... which he will use to save the world

真是有意思！ Very interesting!

本节目欢迎收音机前的听众来信 Do go on sending us your letters

告诉大家你的奇闻轶事 Tell us your exotic experiences

把您与众不同的经历，分享给大家 Share with us your sensations

好，在我们继续昨天的人鱼超人 Next we hear more of the legend of King Saloman...

沙罗曼天王传奇之前，先来听一首歌吧！ ... the Super Fish-Man But first some music...

刘志强！ Liu Zhi-qiang!

联考只剩三十一天了 Just 31 days to the Joint Entrance Exam

老师再打你们也没有几次了啦！ l can't go on punishing you

以后你们就会知道，这一点点痛不算什么 But if you fail the Exam you'll suffer all your life

现在我问你们，认为自己绝对考不上的举手 Those who lack confidence... raise your hands!

好！放下！ Okay hands down

现在就放弃了是不是？ Giving up?

还没有考就投降啦！没出息！ Throwing in the towel? Oowards!

老师以前有一个学生 l had one student who never scored...

每一次模拟考他都没有超过四百分 ... higher than 400 in any test

可是最后他还是考上了，你们知道为什么吗？ But he passed the Exam! You know why?

因为他没有放弃 Because he never gave up

最后一个月，他每天只睡四个钟头 He sleptjust 4 hours a day in the final month

用功再用功，努力再努力 He never let up

最后他还是考上啦！你们还是大有可为的 And he made it... as you will

三十一天足够了 31 days is plenty

只要你们肯用功，下定决心 Work hard and don't lose heart

谁敢说你们考不上？ Who dares say you won't succeed?

好！我再问一次 Now l'll ask you again...

认为自己考不上的举手 Those who lack confidence... raise your hands!

还要不要放弃啦？ Are you giving up?

不要！ No!

有没有信心？ Are you confident?

有！ Yes!

大声一点！ Louder!

有！ Yes!

我有要跟你打吗？ Did l ask you to play with me?

你很厉害吗？ Are you any good?

白痴！ ldiot!

愣头啊你！走啦！ Let's get out of here

有你这个朋友，真是丢脸 I'm ashamed to have a friend like you

来啦，抽烟、抽烟啦！ Have a cigarette

少年组的 Juvenile Division?

人呢？ Where is the boy?

最近报纸上不是有常登一些 Did you see that thing in the paper?

晚上走夜路的女孩子 About girls being slashed in the backside...

屁股都被人家用刀片偷袭吗？ ... when they're out walking at night?

嘿！嘿！那匹狼就是我！ Well meet the wolf himself

我听你在放臭屁 Bullshit!

你不信喔！ You don't believe me?

好，下次带你去见识、见识 l'll show you some action next time

好啊！ OK!

嗳！ 你联考完最想干什么？ What do you want most after the Exam?

我想养一缸热带鱼 A tank of tropical fish

你上次不是买了一个小鱼缸吗？怎么没养？ Don't you have a small one already? No fish yet?

我怕我爸会骂，我把鱼缸藏起来了 Dad won't let me

你爸也住海边，管的真宽 He never stops bugging you huh?

嗳！ 那你知道我最想干什么吗？ You know what l want most?

干嘛？ What?

把马子！ Get laid

嗨！你好 Hello how are you?

虽然你我还不认识，但我相信缘分 You don't know me yet but l trust fate

在这茫茫的人海中，我们竟然能搭上同一部公车 Amid the sea of people we ride the same bus

那就代表着，我们有缘 That's fate

也就代表着，我们能做更多的事 lt means we could do other things together

为了不让这份缘只停留在同一部公车上 Let's go further than the bus can take us

我决定邀请你，坐同一部潜艇 l invite you on a submarine trip

再过几天就要毕业了，我们即将告别国中生活 We'll soon bid farewell to Junior High

在这历史性的时刻 At that historic moment...

我想邀请你去绿岛看热带鱼 ... l'll show you tropical fish on Green lsland

蔡家奇，八分！ Oai Jia-qi 8 out of 100

徐为礼，二十三分！ Xu Wei-li 23

刘志强，四十一分！ Liu Zhi-qiang 41

手举起来 Hands out!

来，抽一下 Have a puff

嗳，今天模拟考那个作文题目很烂喔！ Wasn't that a shitty subject for an essay?

出那个什么？「我的梦」啦！ ''My dream''? What the hell...

你知道我本来想写什么？ You know what l was gonna write?

什么？ What?

我本来想写说，我前几天做的一个春梦 l was gonna write about my wet dream

然后呢？ And?

想一想，算了啦 l changed my mind

为什么？ Why?

因为，我怕老师的梦跟我一样怎么办？ Teacher might've had the same dream

哭爸！ Asshole!

嗳，那你写什么？ So what did you write?

我写，有一只鱼，住在很深、很深的海里 About a deep ocean fish...

专门吃小孩子的梦 ... which feeds on the dreams of kids

等它吃了九千九百九十九个以后 When it's eaten 9999 of them...

它就会长出翅膀，飞出来 ... it will fly out of the sea

然后呢？ And then?

如果你在日出看到它的话 lf you glimpse it at daybreak...

就可以变成人鱼超人喔 ... you turn into a Super Fish-Man

嗳，要升高一了耶！ Man aren't you going to Senior High?

一天到晚，不是鱼、就是超人 What's all this crap about fish and Fish-Men?

你头脑是干嘛的？装屎啊！ What goes on in your head?

嗳，不知道去绿岛坐潜水艇贵不贵？ How much are Green lsland submarine tours?

啊！ 你还真的要去喔？ Are you serious about this?

抽烟？ Smoking?

什么学校？ Which school?

嗯！ 奇怪了，哑巴呀！ 敢抽不敢说啊？ Lost your tongues?

正道国中 Zhengdao junior High

几年几班？ Olass?

啊？啊！ Well?

三年四班 Olass 4 ninth grade

名字呢？ Names?

刘志强 Liu Zhi-qiang

刘志强 Liu Zhi-qiang

你呢？ You?

徐为礼 Xu Wei-li

同班的是不是？ Same class?

他叫什么名字？ What's his name?

刘志强 Liu Zhi-qiang

电话？ Phone number?

他的是七六七八八〇四 His is 767-8804

很乖！ Smart-ass!

我在问你的电话 and yours?

七六〇六四五一 760-6451

没有骗我哦！ Don't lie to me!

跟我来！ Follow me

走啊！ Move it

嗳，怎么样？ What happened?

他妈的！ 摸我屁股！ The fucker touched me up

干！ 来了啦！ He's coming...

喂，阿强啊，我阿礼啦！ Zhi-qiang? This is Wei-li

那个少年组的，有没有通知你爸？ Has that guy called your dad?

没有！ 你呢？ No! Yours?

也没有啊！ 干！ 我明天不想去学校了啦！ Not yet! Fuck I'm staying home tomorrow

嗳！ 你要不要去？ What about you?

我喔，我还是要去 l have to go to school

好！ 那老师问你的话，你就说我生病了 Okay tell teacher I'm ill if she asks

那如果少年组真的通知老师的话 And if that guy calls...

你就说，有人想陷害我们，乱报我们的名字 ... say that we were framed

知不知道？ Got it?

噢，知道啦！ Okay got it

嗯，再见 Bye

老板，薯条一份 Yam fries please

好，要不要辣？ Spicy?

好，好 Sure

不要，我不要加辣！ No not on mine

好 Okay

好啦，随便，随便，这样多少？ How much is that?

一百二十块

还有没有钱？ Any money left?

好啦，我来，我来 l'll get it

谢谢 Thanks

这样够不够？ Got enough?

够了还不走啊！ 书收起来啦！ Yes. Then let's move! Bring your comic books

一百块

历史还可以，可是你看地理，只有五十六耶！ He did better in Geography than History

这也是背的东西嘛！ He only had to memorise the book...

那表示说，他没有全力应付 ... and he failed!

还有这个英文、数学啊 And English Math...

刘仔，你也来啦！ Ah Mr Liu...

嗯！您是刘志强的家长？ Liu Zhi-qiang's father?

嗯，是，是 Yes

这是刘志强上次模拟考试的成绩 This is his last test result

四百二十七

刘先生，你也不要觉得不好意思啦！ Don't be embarrassed about it

在座的各位家长都跟你是差不多的情况 These other parents are in the same boat

也就是说啊，你们的孩子下个月联考的时候 All of you have children...

都将面临一个同样的命运 ... sitting the Exam next month...

那就是，落榜 ... who are going to fail!

阿强啊，来 Zhi-qiang!

多吃一些鸡睾，比较补啦！ These rooster testicles will do you good

免补啦，补什么？没救了啦！ Good for what? lt's hopeless

你模拟考只考四百分而已 You got a mark of only 400

我问你，你到底是想不想念？ Do you want to study or not?

你如果不想念，你到底想干什么？ lf not what do you want?

凭你这个样子要去跟人家做工、当学徒 You think you could be a labourer or apprentice?

都没人要啦！ No-one will want you

好了啦！ 吃个饭还一直念 Don't nag him over dinner!

你安静啦！都是给你宠坏的啦！ You were the one who spoiled him!

哼，我实在想不通 lt beats me

孩子跟不上人家，你怎么一点都不会烦恼？ Aren't you worried that he's backward?

你这个母亲是怎么当的？ What kind of mother are you?

下次学校开会，换你去 You go to the next PTA meeting...

看你会不会觉得丢脸 See if you don't feel ashamed

各位同学 Students!

今天呢，是你们在学校最后一次模拟考 This will be your last test here

好好加油 Do your best

好，现在把课本收起来 Now put away your books

嗳，你到底是真的会写，还是假的会写？ What took you so long?

搞那么久 You knew all the answers and just sat there?

哎呀！我不会写啦！ l didn't have a clue

我看是考不到四百分啦！ l'll never score higher than 400

人家说，最后一次最准的 They say the last test seals your fate

我一定考不上 I'm doomed

放轻松一点啊！反正都考完了 O'mon it's over

嗳，今天我们去庆祝一下要不要？ let's have fun

怎么庆祝？ How?

嘿…这个哩… With this...

阿强，来 Hey Zhi-qiang

妈，爸去哪里啊？ Where's Dad?