FEUD

Miss Davis?

Buzz Gimple.

May I say what an honor it is to meet you?

I see Sid's got himself a Boy Friday.

I approve.

Oh, I'm not Sid's secretary. I'm your agent.

I will be personally looking after your day-to-day concerns.

How old are you?

Almost 23.

Almost? Mm-hmm.

Joanie!

You look ravishing. Oh.

You know the team.

Yes. Would you care for something to drink?

Oh, no thank you. I'd like to get right down to business.

Please sit down.

Marty, I would like

to take the twins to Greece and Italy this year.

Every young person should experience ancient antiquities.

So when do you think would be a good time to schedule that?

Well, probably not August.

Gets pretty hot in Greece in August.

Right, boys?

Well, no. I-I...

I don't know what kind of offers have been coming in,

so I thought we might review them

and, uh, then I could plan accordingly.

Nothing?

At the moment, but we're gonna change that.

I wouldn't think I need to mention

that I am opening a picture very soon.

Yeah.

What I'd like to do is maybe secure a few things

before the movie opens.

A guest spot on Perry Mason, or, you know,

dinner theater has become very chic again.

There hasn't been any offers, Joan.

Well, how is that possible?

I'm headlining

a major motion picture which opens in

400 theaters nationwide in just a few weeks' time.

And we're very excited about that. Aren't we, fellas?

I did my part, Marty.

I got myself

back in the game.

I found the project,

I put up with that awful woman for months.

And while I was suffering all that,

what was William Morris doing for me?

The landscape hasn't changed, Joan.

There's just not a lot out there for a mature actress.

You've heard the picture's stinko.

You can't pay attention to the tongue wagging

that goes on in this town.

They're always rooting for failure.

What have they been saying?

Well...

word around town is you and Crawford won't be able

to get arrested after the movie opens.

They're saying you've thrown what's left of your careers

down the toilet by doing a "B" movie.

I see.

That explains why I've been shunted to the junior leagues.

No offense.

None taken.

Don't give up the ghost, Miss Davis.

Worst case, the movie bombs and people forget all about it.

You'll be back.

Well, I'm sure

once the picture opens, there'll be no end of offers.

And we'll be here to field them.

Fuck you, Marty.

If I have to

find my own projects and wait for you

to field offers instead of drumming them up,

I don't see the point in having an agent,

or a room full of fucking agents.

You're all fired!

Hey, Buzz.

Looks like you lost a client.

Somebody die? Not a person.

Just your credibility. Page seven.

"Mother of three,

"30 years experience in motion pictures,

"wants steady employment in Hollywood.

References upon request."

You must listen.

I made you waste...

your whole life...

thinking you'd crippled me.

It's seamless, Mike.

I can't see where the beach ends and the soundstage begins.

Thanks, honey.

What do we think, Skipper?

Yeah. Lock the picture, Mike.

Make sure the optical print is ready

for the sneak preview on Saturday.

Do we know where that's happening yet?

It's either Pedro or Long Beach.

Sure that's far enough away?

Well, I figure they're both ports.

I can always hop on a freighter and make my escape.

Is the picture still running?

Because you two both sound like a couple of old biddies.

Why is everyone acting like it's a failure

when it hasn't even opened yet?

You hear that whistling sound?

It's a bomb falling.

It's gonna land in 400 theaters, all at the same time.

Mm-mm, I don't agree.

You know who goes to the movies nowadays?

Kids and teenagers.

I mean, nobody under the age of 35

even knows who these women are.

You're wrong there, Bob.

This is where television actually helps us.

Kids today... they grew up

watching old Crawford and Davis movies on Sunday afternoons.

They know who they are.

And don't you forget, they said the same thing

about Gloria Swanson ten years ago.

Sunset Boulevard had Bill Holden.

It's not the same thing at all.

What you got there?

It's a script. Oh, honey,

I can't even think about the next thing right now.

No, no, no, of course not.

Hell, I'm not even convinced there's gonna be a next thing.

So, you coming to the public execution on Saturday?

Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

I don't say this often enough, Pauline.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Correct on both counts.

Go on, get drunk.

Harriet, we may have to sell the house.

What, are you worried about the picture?

I think I may have misjudged the moment.

You know, I wanted to get it done,

I wanted a measure of control, but now we're...

We're in hoc up to our eyeballs.

If Baby Jane goes down, so do we.

Is it not good?

Honestly, I can't tell anymore.

Well, we knew it was a gamble from the start.

If we have to sell the house, we'll sell the house.

Yeah, what about the kids?

We'll sell them, too.

But I think we'll get more for the house.

You don't have to go down with the ship, you know.

If you divorce me before Saturday,

you might still get something.

Oh, I'm no fool.

I'll wait until your next hit before I divorce you.

I see.

So you'll stick around for worse,

but if better comes along,

you're on the phone to the lawyer?

Try not to worry so much.

You know that you always get like this before a preview.

When you're young and so in love as we

And bewildered

By the world we see

Why do people hurt us so?

Only those in love would know...

Mamacita.

Miss Crawford is out.

That's good. May I come in?

What a town without pity can do...

It's called The Black Slipper.

It's written just for Joan.

She'd play a choreographer falsely accused

of shoving a principal dancer off a catwalk.

She gets locked up for murder,

pushed around by some hard-bitten convict broads.

Then she's proven innocent and whisked from her cell

to dance the dead girl's role on stage.

It's a story about the irrepressible human sprit.

You want to leave the script for Miss Crawford?

You're Joan's right-hand lady.

I know what that means because I'm a right-hand lady, too.

You know better than anybody how to get Joan on board.

I want

your advice on how to do that for this.

I see.

Mr. Aldrich will direct?

No.

Who is involved?

Me. I wrote it.

And I want to direct.

Look, I realize

there is not exactly a robust tradition

of women directors for me to build on.

Only a handful of gals have gotten studios

to trust that they could handle a picture.

You think I'm crazy?

I think this is a marvelous idea.

You do?

This is America.

No one can tell you you're crazy.

In Werdohl, you know how you must live when you are born.