Harley Quinn

Bruce isn't thinking straight.

Okay? He's outside doing something awful with Frank.

Bruce sees 10 steps ahead of everything he does.

Whatever he's doing, he knows it'll be safe.

You know how depressed Selina breaking it off has made him.

Oh, please. He broke up with her.

Jesus! He's never gonna say that he loves you, dude.

I'm slightly worried that

my extremely realistic portrayal

of his murdered father

may have played a small part in this.

Oh, wow. Is your next role Sherlock Fucking Holmes?

Look, he's been down in the dumps,

but Bruce would never do anything

to put others in danger.

Well... I can't believe I'm about to say this.

I'd love for you all to meet...

my parents.

I see how this looks.

But it's just temporary.

A few more experiments and I'm positive

I'll turn my zombie parents

back into my beloved, very much alive parents.

Oh, I've got to get him on the pod.

Let's get you down to the lab

to see if we can extract that plant growth hormone

so you don't become another one of Alfred's topiaries.

- You did this. - Bullshit.

Frank was only supposed to resurrect

dead plants, not humans.

Billionaire bitch boy obviously altered Frank

to bring back his dead parents

instead of just, you know, dealing with his emotions.

Whoa! And I thought I was the psychiatrist in this relationship.

If you untie us, I won't kill Bruce

in front of his dead parents for what he did. Deal?

What she meant is we need to figure out how far reaching

what Bruce did goes.

Free us so we can figure out how to stop it.

We're not letting you go. We can deal with it ourselves.

Oh, nards!

Ah, my wrists can breathe.

What the hell are you doing?

I know it's hard to hear, but I think Bruce messed up.

No, that, that can't be.

There's a freaking zombie horde outside.

Well, how many are there?

Hmm. I'd say five, 10, maybe 20 football fields' worth.

Oh, my God. Frank is out there.

Hey, man. Dude to dude,

I'm not in this crew. They basically tricked me.

So leave me out of whatever justice

you're bringing them. All right?

Oh, my God.

They turned Frank into a zombie.

No. No, I was just pretending to be one to get here safe.

Never seen a fucking zombie movie?

Yeah, she's still making her way through

the fourth season of that pottery competition.

- You like it too. - Yeah. Okay. True.

We might want to do something about Frank's friends here.

Frank, what happened?

That walking definition of white privilege

planted me directly into the root system

surrounding this house.

Roots reach out like sperms.

My shit went everywhere

bringing back all kinds of dead assholes.

Well, how can we stop them?

All I know is stay the fuck away from their puke.

Oh, shit. Okay, hypothetically speaking,

if, say, a friend happened

to come in contact with said vomit,

what side effects are we looking at here?

Psycho, are you trying to tell us

that someone vomited on you?

What? No.

Like I said, hypothetical about a... Oh, fuck!

Oh, bit on the nose, even for me.

Okay. I might have gotten a little vomit on...

Fuck me in the nasal urethra!

Okay. We gotta figure out how to reverse this

before people we actually care about

are turned into that.

So this is where I do my actual job.

I'm basically the last line of defense

Gotham has against total chaos.

I got my own spotlight.

I mean, whatever.

Mother, Father, this is your grandson.

Damian, say hello to your soon to be completely alive

grandmama and grandpapa.

Teens, right?

Oh, right. You died when I was eight.

Well, they're a handful.

Uh, do I want to know what's going on down there?

Nope? Okay, great.

That's great.

The zombies are headed for Gotham Central Park.

Jazzapajizza!

What? Jazz Fest got canceled three years ago,

so they rebranded it to a three day event.

And you know what? I love jazz.

Okay? Get over it.

Wait, Frank.

Are you saying that every dead person in Gotham

may have been brought back to life?

- It's possible. - Ah-ha!

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some errands to run.

I mean, it's clear the zombies share DNA with the plants,

so there's reason to believe

that they're connected to the green.

Maybe if I just go in there,

I can find a way to control them.

No. No, no way.

The last time you went there, you almost died.

What other choice do we have?

I hate saying this, but the Bludhaven boner's right.

Plus, I know what to expect now.

I've got this, peanut.

Who knew confidence was my kink?

Okay, while I'm in there, you and the bat freaks try to stall them off.

And you're delegating. Oh. I'm gonna need to change my shorts.

Oh. God, I love you.

I know. Now, go!

All right. Which way to the Batcave?

What? What's this Batcave you speak of?

Yeah, it sounds, um, scary.

Not someplace I'd like to go.

Guys, I know Bruce is Batman.

Bruce Vilanch is Batman?

Oh. Wow. Jokes and crime fighting.

What a guy!

Oh. For fuck's sake. I was just in his head.

He literally told me.

So you can either keep this shit up

or we can go and save Gotham.

Fine, this way.

Remember, Harley, you're in the Batwing,

which means you're representing...

This is awesome.

Now let's go stop these undead dickheads.

We got this, Ive.

All right. You got this.

You know, I'm psyched for Jazzapajizza too.

If these zombies

stop me from seeing a jazz legend

go off on his flugelhorn, I'll lose my shit.

You better hurry your ass up, Ivy.

Whoo!

Pamela, wait.

Alec, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

So if you need to talk, maybe Nora is available.

I'm here for you.

You know what? I appreciate the support on that. Thank you.

I can feel your conflict inside.

I'm sorry. What are you talking about?

The conflict of who the real you is. Good versus evil.

Which are you?

The green can give you immense power.

Power that would make it easy for you to help

or hurt this world,

to complete any plan you can imagine.

I implore you to use it for good.

Even a plan that was ruined by a selfish billionaire?

Um, yeah.

Oh, boy, I biffed that speech.

I think now would be a great time to figure your shit out.

We are seeing that flugelhorn phenom!

Okay. That's not that many zombies.

Oh, shit.

Hey, Harley, wait a second.

Are you in the Batwing?

Yeah. Long story.

Are you in the middle of some ceremonial crap or something?

Yeah. Long story. What's up?

Gotham's swarming with zombies.

Ivy's in Wayne Manor, stuck in the green,

I need you to make sure she's okay.

Oh, you can count on me.

All right, let's see what this bad boy can do.

Hey, where the hell are the missiles

or machine guns on this?

- There are none. - And why is that?

We decided, as a family, we don't believe in killing.

What, anyone?

What if it's Gwyneth Paltrow and she's, like, eating a baby?

You know, or like a massive asshole.

Not even massive... butt holes.

Saying butt hole's so much worse.

It paints a gross picture.

Whoa! Ivy, you dramatic motherfucker!

What the hell happened in there?

I found this energy, this power and I entered it.

I became a part of it and it became a part of me,

and it felt amazing,

like getting a massage on mushrooms,

and also I realized I can pull off a kitten heel.

Okay. Okay, but what's with all the zombies?

I can control them.