Nurse Jackie

Previously...

Eddie and your husband become friends,

and the titanic is sinking and only one of them gets to survive.

Which one?

- I like that one. - Me too.

We'll take it.

Every interaction is stored in the Pill-O-Matix's memory.

Your shitty pill dispenser is replacing me.

- Does she have a boyfriend? - Who?

Jackie.

I was going through my divorce.

- He's allergic to codeine. - But I didn't give him, it's fentanyl.

It's a different opiate. He had some earlier, he was fine.

Because he was given the correct dosage. Can you read?

You're off the floor. No more patients.

You can answer phones. That's about it. This is not good.

He's a fucking criminal.

It's her father... Stepfather.

My sister's gonna be destroyed.

Have you heard from your sister?

She got as far as the hospital and then was turned away

from our mother's bedside by the wicked stepfather.

So if it resets itself, you can get anything you need.

Think about it as going-away present number two.

Subtitles: Don't Mess with the Nurse Team

She tries to come across as this like,

"welcome to the parish."

Well, I hated her then. I hate her now.

And you should have seen her kid.

It's a good thing you didn't have kids with Ginny Flynn.

Why would I have had kids with Ginny Flynn?

I know about you guys.

It was two weeks when we were 16.

- And then you met me. - And then I met you.

Oh, boy.

I'm so tired, Kev.

- I know, babe. - How am I gonna make this up to Grace?

You know what she'll remember?

That her mother got her kicked out of a tap class.

That you were protecting her.

She's not gonna end up in therapy?

No, she's probably still gonna end up in therapy, but not for this.

I got a little surprise for you when you get off work.

- You do? - I do.

Actually, it's a pretty big surprise.

But you gotta come here to get it.

The bar, midnight. My sister's taking the girls.

How intriguing.

It's supposed to be.

Who is luckier than me?

Not Ginny Flynn.

- Are you open? - Not for another hour.

But, hey, come on in.

What can I get you?

What kind of beer you got?

I've never been a fan of movies

where idiots talk to people in comas.

Would you consider signing something clearing All Saints

of any neglect or malfeasance?

Just a thought.

We'll talk more when you wake up.

Tylenol. Blow me.

I'm initiating an investigation into the Nutterman coma

before I send him to the ICU.

I see.

Well, I'm sure if you need anything, you'll let me know.

I need an official statement.

And I want you and Zoey in my office in five minutes.

Thank you, Jesus.

Unacceptable.

- Nurses' station, please hold. - My name is Zoey Barco,

and I'm really, really

sorry, Mr. Nutterman.

Nurses' station, please hold.

Nurses' station, please hold.

Zoey, can you get over here, please?

Pick up the phone, ladies!

Nurses' station, hold please.

- What's up with your scrubs? - They're gray.

I can see that. I don't like them.

I don't like them either. That's why I'm wearing'em.

- That's not a good reason. - I'm wearing'em as a sign of remorse.

I get it. I get it, Zoey.

- Nurses' station, hold please. - This is Gloria Akalitis.

I am stuck in an elevator.

Do not hang up on me!

- Who did you just hang up on? - Mrs. Akalitis.

Or not.

I think she's stuck in the elevator.

There's gonna be an investigation into Mr. Nutterman, isn't there?

Should I call the elevator repair?

Do not...

- Well, that went well. - What's that?

Nutterman's neuro consult.

We need to talk.

Not true.

- You broke your own finger. - I'm sorry?

I'll be right back.

It took me a second, but I figured it out.

You were trying to cover your ass with the donor.

You panicked, you broke your own finger

and came crying to me so I'd feel sorry for you and tape it up.

But what you didn't count on...

was that you and I have amazing chemistry.

You kissed me

right here, in this exact room.

Right where we're standing.

So I broke my own finger

so I could have alone time with you

because we have amazing chemistry.

You said it, not me.

You are a moron.

Man, I thought we were getting a Pyxis.

Okay, but how unflattering?

Pretty unflattering.

Donkeys are gray. Think about it.

If he wakes up and the first thing he sees is me wearing Kitty scrubs?

He'll think I don't take what happened seriously.

What if he never wakes up?

And if he's blind? What about the rest of us?

We're stuck watching you mope around in gray.

- It takes a village. - It's not what that means.

Yes, it is.

America's next top model, 2:00.

- Dibs. - But...

Please. She'll eat you alive.

- Hi, how can I help you? - Fucking Dominican.

- Norwegian. - Hop off the raft

and New York State gives you a Flatiron and a salon on Essex Street

no questions asked!

What the fuck?

- Fire in the nightclub? - She got her hair straightened.

My neighbor's jewish, very fro-y.

She goes to a place on Adam Clayton Powell.

I can get the number if you want.

I want her to be my nurse.

I'd love to.

But I've been stripped of my powers.

Is that your wife?

She's beautiful.

Are you married?

I'm seeing someone, but...

She's married, two kids.

It's a rough road.

Brother, you don't know the half of it.

Is that gum?

Did I mention that tonight

around about 10:00 Ish, I'm going to break the law?

- If you did, I missed it. - I am and I need your help.

I would expect no less.

I'm having my mother shipped in from London.

Much like a pair of shoes.

If you're waiting for me to unleash a vale of tears,

you'll be old and gray without a tooth in your head.

Nice visual.

Look!

Mr. Nutterman, your reflexes are alive and kicking.

Legally, I can't touch the paperwork.

So I nedd you to admit her as a Jane Doe found down at Gramercy Park.

I just want to get a look at her with my own eyes.

I'm already on the hooks for one coma. What's one more?

That's the spirit.

Akalitis called from the elevator again.

Wants to know if the repair guys are here yet.

- Tell her yes. - Are they?

No. It looks like Nutterman's waking up.

Let's see if we can get that tube out of him.

- Think we'll dodge a lawsuit? - I fucking hope so.

It was my student who dosed him. I don't need this shit.

I really don't.

Just keep Akalitis in the elevator.

Ladies and gentlemen, a very lovely and talented

Gloria Akalitis!

Applause, applause, applause, applause...

It is nice to see you again, Dave.