The Exes

So, Eden, big plans tonight?

Not really, just three clubs and a couple loft parties.

Well, that sounds like fun.

Well, my shift is over.

Guess I'll just go home and wallow in the emptiness

of being a divorced woman with nothing to do.

Nothing.

Sounds like a plan. See ya.

Oh, come on!

I'm hinting my ass off here. Take me with you.

Nicki, I would take you with me,

but the people I hang with

party pretty hard.

I may have been married for 18 years,

but believe me, I can still get jiggy with it.

Well, whatever that is, I'm sure you were great at it,

um, but you wouldn't make it past the first jager bomb.

Oh, so you think you can out-party me?

Maybe I should bring a BabyBJORN so I can carry you home.

All right, lightweight, it's on.

Oh, it's on like donkey Kong.

That's something that people used to say back in...

Let's just go. Let's just go.

- What... - No, no, let's go.

Haskell?

- Haskell! - What?

You still have the hots for Nicki?

She put you in the friend zone, man.

Come on, move on.

You're right.

But sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna meet someone...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold that thought.

Look at that slab o' man.

Mmm, mommy like.

But how am I gonna hit on him?

It's so crowded.

What am I gonna do?

This calls for "the wedge."

Yes, wedge me.

Excuse me, pardon me, sorry, excuse me.

- Yeah, I'm sorry. - Sorry about the foot.

Excuse me, pardon me, thank you.

Excuse me, thank you.

Excuse me, pardon me, thank you.

Oh, look a little space just for little old me.

It's very crowded here.

Nothing wrong with a crowd

if it's filled with the right people.

Yeah, okay.

I'm Holly.

Holly Franklin.

Matt.

Matt Brickhouse.

What does Matt Brickhouse do?

I'm a pilot.

- So you're... - Captain Matt Brickhouse.

Now you're just messing with me.

How about you and I grab a table?

If those are the instructions from the tower.

I, uh... I saw what you did.

You wedged me. Well played.

Well, thank you.

But to cut through your larger crowds

you need to pull out your big guns.

A hacking cough and a wet sneeze

got me a high five with the pope.

You know, Holly, I'm glad I caught the JFK run tonight.

I love this city.

And may I say, it's pretty hot for you.

So you don't live here, huh?

No, but I get back a lot.

My brother lives here.

He's, uh, talking to your friend who wedged me.

Oh.

Well, he won't find a more fun guy than Haskell.

He must be.

I haven't seen Sam smile like that

since he broke up with his boyfriend.

The Exes - S03E18 When Haskell Met Sammy

Yes, miss Williams, he was a wonderful man.

We'll all miss him.

God bless you too.

Oh, no. Phil, what happened?

My old high school coach passed.

Man, I'm sorry.

Uh, thanks.

Coach meant a lot to me. He really changed my life.

Mm, got you off the mean streets of New York, huh?

Mean streets? No, I'm from Long Island.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I was making, just assumptions

based on tired cliches.

Don't sweat it.

He wasn't just my coach,

- sometimes he was like my dad. - Mmhmm.

'Cause you grew up with a single mom?

No, my parents have been married for 40 years.

That's ri... I... I knew... you know what, I'm gonna shut up now.

That's okay.

- When's the funeral? - Thursday.

They asked me to speak. Well, that's quite an honor.

Well, it would be if I was going, but I'm not.

Wh... What? What are you talking about?

He meant so much to you.

How could you not go?

Because I hate funerals.

When I was eight, I went to my grandfather's

and something bad happened.

I mean, really bad.

Mm, drive-by?

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

No, not a drive-by!

When they were rolling out his casket

it fell off the Dolly and the lid popped open

and he flopped out of that thing like a boneless chicken.

It was like... Ooh, oh, oh!

Mm. Ugh. Yeah.

- Horrible. - Exactly.

That's why that was my first and last funeral.

Okay, Phil, hang on.

Don't let that stop you. Come on.

This man was an important part of your life.

You owe it to him to go.

- Maybe you're right. - I'll tell you what.

I'll even go with you for moral support.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Well, you know,

it would mean a lot to his family

and it would be great to see the guys from the team again.

The golf team?

No, basketball.

I just didn't wanna be wrong again.

Of course it's basketball.

Why "of course"?

I'm gonna go to my room.

So, Haskell, what is your situation?

Are you married? Single?

Oh, I was married, but I'm not the first guy

to make that mistake, if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, well, the important thing is

is that you know who you are now.

That's right.

Available and ready for a little action.

Aw, you know, Holly, you are a hell of a woman.

Oh.

I would love to take you to dinner tomorrow night.

- Great. - But I can't.

Huh?

It just wouldn't feel right, leaving Sam all alone.

Huh.

You know what?

Maybe I don't have to.

How about the four of us double?

Haskell and your brother?

Sounds great.

Hey, guys?

Matt and I were wondering if maybe the four of us

could grab dinner tomorrow night.

Ah, I'm in.

Haskell? It's a date.

What the hell happened last night?

Aaaah!

Eden?

Eden, wake... wake up.

Wake up. Huh?

What are you wearing?

You look ridiculous.

What the hell did we do last night?

Well, either we enlisted, or we slept with sailors.

This is all your fault.

- My fault? - Yes!

I thought we were gonna go to some trendy club

and have a few drinks, not take on the seventh fleet!

So we entertained the troops.

We're like the U.S.O.

More like the U.S.Ho.

Wait a sec, I'm getting a text.

It's from a guy named Mel.

You slept with a Mel?

Maybe you slept with a Mel.

Maybe we both did.

Ew, we had a menage a Mel!

"We have your clothes.

We need ours back."

See? He said "we."

There were two of them.

Happy now?

Yes, yes.

We gave it up to two sailors.

What a relief.

I'd like to make a toast.

- Aw. - All right.

To new friends...

Chance encounters and wherever they may lead.

Bottoms up!

Haskell, this lemongrass crab cake is amazing.

You have to have a taste.

I'll try anything once.

Open wide.

Okay.