Wilson

Remember when we were kids?

Life was all there in front of us,

waiting to happen.

You could be an astronaut or the President,

whatever the hell you wanted.

Every day was an adventure,

and things were only going to get better.

Then the years pass and you start to see...

that it's all a big fairy tale.

Total bullshit.

I'm no genius,

but I like to think I've figured

a few things out along the way.

For one thing, modern civilization is a scam.

A sad, pointless charade built on lies.

You have to have the courage to go your own way.

Happiness is hard to come by.

Sure as hell aren't gonna find it

in some stupid gadget.

There you are, tapping on some little box...

while the real shit is happening

all around you, dumb-ass.

I hate you so much.

Yes, I do, yeah. I hate you.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing

but love for my fellow human beings.

I'm a people person all the way,

one hundred percent.

Look at you. What a pretty dog!

Look at those ears.

What's your name? What's your name?

My name is Pepper.

And I'm five years old.

And this morning...

I was a bad, bad girl.

People get really creeped out

when you talk in the fake dog voice.

I believe that every one of us has a story to tell...

and we're all part of the human family.

How tragic we've lost all sense of community.

A sense of camaraderie

with our friends and neighbors.

You mind if I sit here?

I don't think there's anyone sitting at those tables.

But she likes the sunny spot.

Don'tcha? Don'tcha like the sunny spot?

I'm actually right in the middle of something, so...

Working man, eh?

Good deal.

Wife? Kids?

Hey, asshole! I'm talking to you.

Nobody has actual conversations anymore.

It's a real shame.

I mean, everybody's got something valuable to offer

if you just take the time to listen.

Nope. Sorry.

Saggy-balls motherfucker!

And if you're lucky enough

to find a friend or two in this world...

well, brother, you've hit the jackpot.

So...

what did Wilson think of our news?

I didn't tell him yet.

Oh, God, not another kid!

No, no.

It's just we were thinking

we might want to move somewhere...

where we could actually afford to buy a house.

Show him the pictures.

Where is this?

St. Louis.

Missouri?

Jesus Christ.

St. Louis?

It's actually a pretty interesting town.

Oh, okay, that flies in the face of everything

I've ever heard...

about St. Louis in particular

and Missouri at large!

What the hell do you know about it?

Look, I get it.

You don't want to have to be the ones to cart poor old...

Wilson to the hospital when he conks out.

Get out while the going's good.

Smart move!

Holy shit.

This has nothing to do with you, Wilson.

Oh, that's nice! Thanks for thinking of me!

I always knew that she hated me...

but I always thought that you were my best friend!

He's your only friend! Jodie!

No, I'll be fucked if I sit here

and let you give us a guilt trip about this.

Why don't you get off your lazy ass

and go find some new fucking friends?!

Jesus Christ!

Life can be a difficult business.

We need to be thankful for everything we have.

Caveman was happy with the roof over his head...

a day's supply of food,

and a family to share his burden.

Honey, I'm home!

What's for dinner?

Well, two out of three.

That's not so bad, I guess.

Of all the times to call!

Hello?

He what?

Hey.

Honey, you're so beautiful!

Yeah, we're gonna have so much fun!

So, I don't know how long I'll be.

It's a family emergency.

I hope it's nothing serious.

Oh, hell, yeah. It's serious.

Yeah, my old man has terminal cancer.

I am so sorry.

I lost my brother to lymphoma.

You take as much time as you need.

And don't worry about anything.

I'll take such good care of her.

Um...

She needs to have these pills every...

Is this our new little friend? Who's this crazy kid, man?

Who's this guy?

Diego. Nice to meet you.

Wait, I thought it was just you.

Diego lives here with me.

He helps out a ton with the animals.

Okay, yeah. That's just...

How do you know he's not some crazy dog fucker?

He's not. No, I'm not.

Ooh.

Where you headed, bro?

I'm sorry. What?

Where you going?

I'm going home.

Ah.

I'm going to visit my dad in the hospital.

Stage-four lung cancer.

Took a bad turn last night. Fell in the shower.

Sorry, to hear that.

So, um... (CLEARS THROAT)

What do you do? What?

I'm sorry, what? What's your line?

Your job.

J-O-B?

Um, I do management consulting,

mostly in the I.T. sector.

Oh, no kidding! Because I do some...

C.N.P.-ing

in the V.H.C-slash-1-G-Q-point...

Come on, man.

Nobody actually understands that bullshit.

I mean I want to know...

what are the actual activities of your day?

You know, different things. I, um...

Meetings, uh, phone calls, reports.

But, you know, I mostly, uh...

primarily focus on manage...

Listen, brother, forty years from now

you're gonna be on your deathbed saying:

"Where did it all go?"

"What did I do with those precious days?"

"Some shitwork for the oligarchs?"

I actually enjoy what I do,

and I've worked my ass off to get there.

How did we end up like this?!

Okay, so...

this is it, I guess.

When Mom died it just happened, you know, but...

you have the chance to leave me with something.

Couldn't you...

see that I needed you to tell me just one time...

that you loved me?

Or that you hated me, or...

something.

Something besides the problems with your goddamn garden.

If you can hear me, just squeeze my hand.

Just...

come on, fucker!

Dad?

Something?

It's too late, isn't it?

There it is.

You have any kids of your own?

Excuse me?

Do...

you...

have any niños of your own?

Two. But they grown up.

Hell of a job doing what you do.

I can't imagine what it's like working for some...

asshole whitey fuckers

who can't even be bothered to...

raise their own family.

I got to go.

That's okay. I got it covered.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just...