Robot Chicken

It's alive!

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the best 60 seconds in television history.

Aaaaah!

Aaaah!

Okay, Lorraine, let's meet your suitors.

Bachelor number one is a peeping tom.

Bachelor number two is an attempted rapist.

And bachelor number three is your own son.

I'm becoming a nun.

Hey, thanks for playing, Marty.

My spider sense is tingling, but why?!

Is it the green goblin?!

The lizard?!

Aunt may having another stroke?!

Nothing? Okay.

Oh, the milk went bad.

Um, thanks, spider sense?

Uh-oh, spider sense tingling!

Oh, no... Those kids!

You tingled me over a puddle?!

Face it, tiger... You're gonna get laid.

Yes!

After tonight, the vulture can't call me a virgin ever again!

No, no! Shoo, shoo!

Come on, let another part of me tingle for once!

Uh-oh!

Be more specific!

Of course I'm in danger!

I'm hundreds of feet above manhat... Ugh!

Whatever.

Well, Mr. Parker, it looks like you broke your ankle.

Also, x-rays show a tumor at the base of your skull that is, for

lack of a better word, tingling.

Remove it. Remove it now.

Time of death... 3:47 P.M.

I'm gonna make it rain!

So, I told the Oompa-Loompas, "come live with me in peace and

safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and the Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers

and rotten Vernicious knids."

Aaaaaaah!

And 5, 6, 7, 8!

Arms, people!

It's all in the arms! Come on!

Hey, you... you there!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is this dance too challenging for you?

Are you tired?

You feeling faint?

Why don't you just take a load off, okay?

Aaaah!

All right, people, here we go again.

This time, with feeling!

And 5, 6, 7, 8!

Welcome back to "Unwrapped."

You know, nearly everyone has enjoyed an ice-cream sundae on a

hot day, but the origins of this tasty treat may just surprise you.

It's commonly accepted that the sundae was invented in Evanston,

Illinois, circa 1890.

We went to Dr. Peter Yarbourgh for the real scoop.

Here's how dumb these heads in Illinois were.

The ice-cream soda had just been invented.

Teenagers liked them.

So, these religious numbnuts sat around jacking off

in church all day, thinking about how much they just hated

teenagers and decided... true story, people... that

God therefore must hate ice-cream sodas.

That's right!

These Illinois knobs concluded that God, creator of

the infinite universe who probably had a trillion

better things to do, actually had an opinion about mother

ice-cream sodas!

So the state of Illinois banned ice-cream sodas on Sundays, you

know, I guess so God wouldn't make it rain crickets or some

ridiculous horse

Long story short, every Sunday, the ice-cream stores,

they'd just... ta da!... They'd just leave out the soda part,

and these Illinois sat around, jacked off, thinking

about how much they had pleased their invisible master, who

lives on a flying cloud or wherever the he lives!

That's how ice-cream sundaes were invented... dumb Illinois assholes!

Up next, Skittles.

Oh Skittles!

Can't we try missionary just once?

Krabby patties are made out of crabs!

Everyone knows krabby patties are me family's secret recipe, boy.

Then explain this!

You said you fired Carl, the night janitor, but this is his tattoo!

You little yellow bastard!

I treated you like a son, me boy!

And it's not just crabs!

Squidward, those calamari rings are squid!

And your chicken-of-the-sea salad... ha!... Tuna!

Chicken of the sea is tuna!

You fed us to us!

You let us pay you to kill us?!

You're disgusting!

No!