Liebes Lager

The story told in this film never happened.

But it could have.

In any situation, under any regime, in any climate,

the union of men who subjugate and objectify women

is immediate, spontaneous, and even fatal.

Therefore this film aims to be a symbolic homage towards women,

and a fight against men being ruled by their dicks.

LIEBES LAGER

Is your injured leg hurting badly, Lieutenant?

It is, Major.

If I could, since my presence here is -

You are on duty, Lieutenant!

You are a German officer, on active duty!

And even if your leg becomes completely unusable,

you will not move from your post!

Yes, sir!

You'll get used to it.

What am I doing here? There is so much to do in the office.

You're noting that tomorrow you'll have three fewer rations to distribute.

Escorted prisoners, left turn!

March.

Prisoners... halt!

To your left. Turn!

Prisoners reporting for the reading of their sentences, sir.

It's a waste of time, Werner. And what do you want?

Hang us, and get this over with.

Silence! I won't allow a prisoner to talk to me like this.

Have you forgotten how you used to ask for permission before addressing me?

But you weren't the widow of traitor Hoffman then.

He was Colonel-General Hoffman.

She is the widow of General Vakenvutt.

And she is the orphaned daughter of General Schulenberg.

- Traitors, Vakenvutt and Schulenberg. - It seems we're a nation of traitors.

Now come on, carry out this wretched vendetta of your accursed Führer.

What are you waiting for? Hang this witch immediately.

You bunch of fools. Do I have to do everything?

Right away, sir. Forward, march!

Where the hell are those idiots going?

Sorry. You others, hurry.

Did you know that the bridge at Remagen has been taken intact?

- How do you know? - I know.

And do you know what it means?

That soon you'll be swinging up there.

And the only thing that upsets me is that I won't be there to see it.

What are you waiting for? You idiots!

Herd of useless fools!

Do I have to do it myself? Get a move on.

Hey, that witch is pretty smart.

Hubert. Shorten that rope.

Hubert was carrying out my orders, sir.

Your orders were wrong.

I'm a medical officer. And I'm qualified to say

that if you shorten the rope, death won't be instantaneous.

She'll suffocate.

I'm the commanding officer, and I'm qualified to order you to be quiet.

Hubert, shorten those ropes.

They deny the progress of science and return to mediaeval times.

Shame on you.

Silence. I'll kill anyone who speaks.

Shame!

Silence! It will be over soon.

Silence!

Quiet, you!

Werner, remember...

I'll meet you here in less than -

- What a thud. That fool Hubert. - Hold their legs.

Always more wretched and disgusting.

Look at Fanning.

He's like an artist witnessing the destruction of his masterpiece.

We've gone back a thousand years. This is denying progress!

And them. What are they doing on the ground?

Rear, halt!

Forward, march.

To the barracks.

- To the barracks. - Return to the barracks.

Schumacher.

Yes, sir.

Punish those fools.

You don't behave like old women when you're German women.

Under no circumstance. Understood?

Yes, sir.

It's unheard of.

In 1766, Calcraft, the hangman of London,

established the principle of the length of the fall,

weight and height of the condemned, and circumference of the neck.

They're fixed elements of a scientific equation.

- Is that so? - Of course!

Ignoring my data, the Major turned the execution into a disaster.

I should file a report.

Do you think so?

- To whom? - To the commandant.

Listen to the radio sometime.

At the point we're at now, you wouldn't even have time to write it.

But it's my duty.

Do you know what you can do? Write a scientific study.

That way, when the Americans hang you,

they'll know exactly what to do.

Good idea, Captain. He should write it in verse!

Hoffman did okay. She told that pig.

And what did she gain? Didn't you see what happened?

It will happen to all of us.

We'll all die following that arsehole Fanning's scientific criteria.

If anything -

I know what I'm going to say to those jackals when it's my turn.

What happened today is unheard of.

And I will take severe measures.

- Sergeant Hubert. - Yes, sir.

- What you did today is scandalous. - I did what the Captain told me.

Silence!

I wasn't alluding to the error committed by Captain Fanning,

and corrected by me.

But to the fact that you dared to touch

the prisoners' buttocks before they were whipped.

The Major says you touched their arses before whipping them.

Captain, I won't stand for that kind of language in here.

I just wanted to put them in the right position.

Katz.

They were undoubtedly lascivious, Major.

You'll regret this, you pig.

I should have you arrested, Sergeant Hubert.

It's only the fact that I don't know how to replace you

that prevents me from transferring you to a military post in Russia.

And also that there aren't any military posts in Russia,

given that Russia has changed sides.

Captain Hausmann, you listen to Radio London.

You're a defeatist.

Far from it, sir.

The news came from Goebbels himself,

to highlight the heroic resistance of the German troops.

I've finished with you.

What happened today is your fault.

There's no order here. There's no discipline.

And above all,

you should not question the moral principles that I have established.

This is a special camp.

The women kept prisoner here aren't foreigners,

or worse, Jews.

They're criminals, or the family of criminals,

who have committed acts of treason against our Führer.

But they're still German.

And they have basic rights,

same as any other member of the master race.

Yes, they are subject to the same rules and regulations

as in any other punishment camp.

But they remain Aryan citizens, and they must be respected as such.

- We know, Major. - I'm not convinced.

For example, Lieutenant Valk,

during shower duty,

addressed the prisoners, and stared at them lustfully.

I would never have believed it, Valk.

May I ask the source of your information, Major?

No. But it's reliable.

So, you are dismissed from shower duty,

and assigned permanently

to a less distracting task...

night sentry duty.

Yes, sir.

I have nothing else to say, gentlemen.

Only to clarify, for the last time,

that you're not here to have fun in this camp,

as some of you seem to be thinking.

- Isn't that so, Lieutenant Schumacher? - No, sir!

You're here to work hard, with discipline,

for the edification of great Germany.

At ease.

I'm not so pessimistic. I don't think they want to kill us.

No? What makes you think that?

I heard that conditions are lot worse in the other camps.

There, they kill them en-masse. Here, they have to follow certain rules.

They pretend to open a case, and issue a verdict. But the result is the same.

But it's not just that.

Here, in a certain sense, they respect us.

As you know, Major Werner is very strict about this.

- Isn't that right? - You're so naive.

Do you know why Werner is a champion of morality?

Because he's no longer a man.

What?

A grenade blast robbed him of his family jewels in Krakow.

How do you know?

It's all they talk about in the canteen.

Those pigs would love to get hold of us.

Werner hates women but he also hates men.

And he needs us to torture them.

You know what I think? Let's play Werner's game.

Some of them might go crazy, jump on us,

and then they'll be executed.

That would be a good result, right?

Get to work, slaves. Go and earn what little you have left of your lives.

Attention! Inspection!

They don't look like they're enjoying their privileges as pure Aryans.

What do you think?

I think that if you keep antagonising Major Werner

you risk being transferred to the front line in Russia.

And who says I would mind?

I'm not a dirty rat like you, Schumacher.

I haven't spent my entire life in these camps.

I'm here because I'm missing a lung.

Like Beyer, because of his leg.

When it's like that, do what you want.

If that lung you have left is troubling you,