Jane Got a Gun

Callie and Decca were two sisters.

They were on a boat.

They're in the water, and Callie said to Decca,

"Decca, will you tell me the story

about the upside-down tree again please?"

And Decca said, "Once upon a time,

"there was an upside-down tree.

"And anyone who walked in through the door of its trunk

"would be immediately turned to good

if they were bad."

Callie said, "I would really like

to see that tree sometime."

They went on and on in the water.

Can you make water?

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden, they hit land...

And all the animals joined them,

'cause they wanted to see the upside-down tree, too.

They had a bunny rabbit.

Can you make a bunny rabbit?

Yeah, the bunny rabbits went, and there were...

wolves.

And there was a cheetah.

And... No, don't eat my nose.

I'm trying to tell a story.

Are you a monster?

Are you a monster eating my nose?

I'm so scared of monsters.

"I wish I could find the upside-down tree,"

and they ran and they found the upside-down tree,

but outside was a lion.

"Get away from my tree.

This is my tree."

And Callie said,

"Well, if it's your tree, Lion, why don't you go inside it?"

Lion said, "All right, I will."

And he went inside his tree.

And his claws went back in his paws.

He started smiling.

He started relaxing.

He said, "You're my friends,

and all my friends are welcome here."

And so Callie and Decca went into the upside-down tree,

and they all lived happily ever after.

Do good people ever turn bad in the upside-down tree?

No.

Good people never turn bad.

Sweet dreams, baby.

Daddy! Daddy!

Ham!

Gunpowder.

Okay.

Ready?

I'm ready.

And...

now.

Son of a...!

Watch your language.

Last one.

This one's not coming out.

Jane.

Jane.

What?

The Bishop boys.

They're coming.

They're coming?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

If them bullets don't kill you,

and this storm you somehow brought upon us don't kill you,

goes without saying...

I will kill you.

But I reckon,

you might just be immortal.

Don't go jumping up the second I leave, starting gunfights.

No.

I can't feel my legs.

You...

You get going.

Get Katie safe with you.

I'm not gonna have you lose another child.

Jane?

You don't have to come back.

I understand.

You know me better than that.

Mommy, when are we coming back?

Real soon, sweetheart.

Coming back real soon.

Remember where you came from.

What was there?

A cord.

Right.

And wherever you are, I feel you.

-Okay? -Okay.

Okay.

Didn't I make it clear last time?

You ain't welcome here, Jane.

Get out.

Bishop boys are coming for us.

I need help.

You roll over in that bed of yours, Jane,

I think you'll find someone who can help you.

He can't help.

-That's why I came. -That's funny, isn't it?

Isn't that also the reason why you left?

There is so much you don't know, Dan.

What I know...

is I seen everything I need to know with my own two eyes.

So whatever you gotta say to me,

I figure you go back to that little house of yours

and best tell it to your husband.

'Cause me, I'm busy.

And I don't got time to entertain

every girl I laid with back in Missouri.

Dan!

If my husband could help, I wouldn't have come here.

He's in rough shape.

Well, that's too bad. What did he do?

Bishop boys have been hunting us down for years.

They finally found Ham, and they shot him to hell and back.

Well, I ain't no doctor.

I don't need a doctor.

I need a gunslinger.

Them Bishop boys are coming for you...

you don't need a gunslinger.

You need a goddamn regiment.

If I were you...

I would just go home,

and I would toss that big sack of shit on a wagon

and I would ride him into town yourself,

so they can hang him quick.

Bishops would be sated,

and you'll still have your life.

Maybe even a little bag of gold for your troubles.

Anything else you choose to do...

is pure ignorance.

I thank you for your hospitality.

You're welcome. -And judging by the looks of things,

you wouldn't have been much use to me anyway.

Probably not.

I'll hire me somebody in Lullaby.

He's not worth your life, Jane.

My life's worth isn't your concern.

Hasn't been for years.

I understand that you were engaged

in the trading of fur with my old...

friend, Bill Hammond.

Somehow he managed to execute four of my men

and then ride off, despite the fact

that he was peppered with bullet wounds.

Now, how would he have done that?

I-I seen it through the window, Mr. Bishop.

H-Hammond walked to his horse.

A bunch of guys came around the corner.

All hell broke loose.

Ham-Hammond got the best of them.

You ever see him in the company of a woman,

significantly more attractive than he is?

Goes by the name of Jane Ballard.

Would you happen to know where Hammond resides, then?

You're a fur trader!

Here I am trying to trade with you,

and you've nothing to offer!

Don't know where he lives.

But I see him...

always heading north.

P-Please.

Please.

I... I have a family.

How long you been there for?

Got enough firepower here

to start another war.

What you want all this stuff for, anyways?

Just do.

Yeah!

Well, mama said we can bring 'em with us

if we pack 'em up.

Excuse me.

Do you know where I could find John Bishop?

Well, Mr. Bishop's a very busy man.

Vic could help you.

He's his right hand.

Sometimes his left.

He's right back there.

All right.

Thank you very much.

Pleasure.

Come on, Mary.

Bye.

You Vic?

What'd you want?

I want to join the trek.

Well, that wagon's full.

What? You don't hear good?

Something I can help you with?

I'm hoping to ride west with John Bishop's party.

Fella outside said there's no room.

That's my brother, Vic.

He's an unyielding sort.

What's your name?