Swedish Dicks

Life after death.

do I believe in it?

No, but does that stop me from talking to my dead friend?

No.

Not a single day goes by without me thinking about it.

Ten years, buddy.

Oop. Hold on. Sorry

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

What's that noise?

Just blowin' off some work steam

by killing people.

Oh, um, my company's representing

this, um, advertising agency in a lawsuit.

Advertising?

Terrorism with a smile.

Have you been drinking?

Me? No.

Okay.

What?!

Rrrr!

Oh, um, so I was talking to the owner

of the advertising agency, and he was telling me

about how he's having some problems with someone

stealing and selling company ideas.

So I told him about you,

and, well, now he wants to hire you.

That's great!

Cool. Oh, but you might want to talk about it

with your partner first.

Hey, Axel is so not my partner, Sarah.

Okay, well, legally speaking he is definitely your partner,

so talk to him.

Legally speaking, you're out of my will.

Yes, it's Axel.

Yeah, hi, it's me.

What the hell are you doing?

Don't tell me you're...

No. I'm on my bicycle.

Are you crazy? You want to get killed?

Get off that bike and drive

like everybody else does in this town.

What, add to the traffic?

The traffic that's killing the planet.

No, never.

Besides, I don't know how to drive.

What?

You heard me.

Everybody in the whole damn world

knows how to drive a car.

Not everybody.

Okay, whatever.

Sarah called me about a job

that I think we should take,

and since we're now...

You know, you and I, we're, uh...

Partners?

Yeah, legally speaking.

It feels so good to hear you say it.

Yeah, it's an ad agency.

They... They need my help,

or they need our help.

That sounds exciting.

So you're in? Yeah, absolutely.

We're in.

So it was agreed

we would take the job at the advertising agency,

but the agency only wanted to meet us before we began

somewhere where his creative co-workers wouldn't see us.

[gunshots

So I come up with these ideas,

and a month later, they've been stolen

by one, two, three...

a bunch of my different competitors.

My company has been in my family for three generations.

If I lose this company under my watch...

I'm gonna kill myself.

Don't worry, sir, we'll find out who's behind it.

But if we don't, I just want you to know

that when I was touring as a DJ in Brazil,

I had a wonderful opportunity

to meet some amazing rainforest Indians,

and they told me about this drug

that they give to their elders when they don't want to live anymore,

and it's supposed to be a really great way to go.

If you want, I can get you some no problem.

Like I said, we'll find out who's behind it.

To find out who was stealing

the agency's secrets,

we'd have to be in the office,

but not be seen in the office,

which meant we'd need to be in the background.

Due to my looks and personality,

it was decided that I would be a maintenance man.

For obvious physical reasons,

Axel couldn't pass as a maintenance man.

That's why he went undercover as the plant man.

Hey, plant man?

You mind keeping it down?

People are trying to work around here.

Sorry.

Sorry. I...

Sorry.

Only one day on the assignment,

and my cover has already been compromised.

Man, you so blew our cover today.

What the hell were you doing with the plants?

I'm sorry, you know?

I just got overexcited.

You're right. You're right.

We're supposed to be undercover.

Yeah, right.

Hey, you know what?

We should take down our home site.

Our home site?

Yeah, for the Swedish Dicks.

Oh, you mean website.

Yeah. I don't have one.

What?

I don't need one.

What are you talking about?

Of course, you do.

I've gotten this far without one.

How?

Word of mouth

and flyers.

Flyers?

Yep.

Flyers?

Our only marketing?

Yep.

Sun.

Have you seen this?

Uch. I offer to do propaganda,

but he no want.

Oh, propaganda... you mean advertising.

Yeah, Sun, she claims she worked

for the Ministry of Propaganda back in North Korea.

Is that true?

Truth is relative.

Not in my world!

I make badass graphics,

blow your fucking mind.

Why would... That's a great idea.

She can do the website.

Okay.

She can make the website if you learn how to drive.

I know how to drive.

I'm not talking about your goofy little bike.

I'm talking about driving a real car.

I can always call a taxi or Uber.

Fuck that.

Scenario... we're on a case in the middle of nowhere,

I'm driving because you can't,

and I get shot.

Now how the hell are you gonna get me to a hospital?

Hmm?

I call 911.

I forgot. You lost your phone.

Up your ass.

Way up your ass.

Ooh, he got you, real bad.

Yeah, well, all right, all right.

You do the graphics, I'll learn how to drive.

Deal.

Finally a bet that I was sure to win.

But I wasn't as sure about our case at the ad agency.

Was our cover blown?

Was Mr. Curious onto us?

Excuse me.

I said excuse me.

Is that your real voice?

What?

Yesterday, when you said,

"Hey, plant man, do you mind keeping it down?

People are trying to work here."

Is that your real voice?

Yes, sir.

So that's really how you talk,

all deep and raspy like?

Yes, sir.

Well, it's very cool.

Like... Like from a movie.

Or like that voiceover guy.

Right, yeah. Say,

"In a world..."

Well, I... I got work to do here.

Okay, say, "In a world where I really got work to do."

Um, uh...

In the world where I really got work to do.

So good.

Say, "In a world

where there was no world."

In a world...

where there was no world.

Say, "In a world where a married man

can be secretly in love with his male co-worker."

In a world where a married man

can be secretly in love with his male co-worker.

Wait, wait, wait.