The Big Bang Theory

Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game.

It's like the slogan says, "The Physics is theoretical,

but the fun is real."

We must not be playing it right.

All right, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Oh, wow, look at that.

My Department of Defense research grant is renewed.

Oh! Great roll!

Now you can demolish your Soviet-style cyclotron

and build the large Hadron Collider.

Yay.

You're a natural at this, Penny.

And as the first beta testers, you two'll have quite the edge

when we play with Wolowitz and Koothrappali on Sunday.

Oh, gee, Sheldon,

I don't think we can play on Sunday.

Why not?

Because of the reasons

that Penny will now tell you.

Penny?

Actually, I have to pick up my friend Justin from the airport.

There you go-- she has to pick up her friend Justin at the airport.

And I can't play 'cause I'm going with her-- right?

Um, yeah, if you want.

I mean, there may not be room.

He's got a lot of stuff-- like guitars and amplifiers.

Wait.

What are you talking about?

My friend, Justin.

Pay attention, Leonard.

That's why she can't play on Sunday.

Who is this Justin?

Your turn, Leonard. I told you about him.

No, you didn't. Roll the dice, Leonard.

Yeah-- my friend from Omaha; plays the guitar.

Anyway, he's coming to L.A. looking for some session work,

so I told him he could just crash on my couch

for a few weeks.

Come on, Leonard-- if you roll a six,

Penny dies horribly in a nuclear meltdown.

See what I mean when I say the fun is real?

Hang on.

Some guy is going to be sleeping on your couch?

He's not "some guy."

He's my friend.

So by "friend," do you mean "friend friend,"

"gay friend," or "ex boyfriend

"who you're now platonic with

but still might have a thing for you friend"?

Well, he's definitely not gay.

Oh, ho-ho, a definitely not gay musician

sleeping on my girlfriend's couch.

Yippee.

Okay, we went out a little bit, a long time ago.

But we were never like "going out."

Okay, not to be pedantic, but last I checked

"went out" was in fact the past tense of "going out"--

which I think we all know

is a popular euphemism

for "saw each other naked."

I'll just roll for you.

Do you have a problem with Justin staying with me?

What was your first clue?

Uh-oh! Industrial accident.

You know what?

Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot.

I'm not talking to you like you're an idiot!

I'm saying the whole idea is idiotic!

"You accidentally stare at a helium-argon laser.

Lose one turn and a retina."

How is that not talking to me like I'm an idiot?

It's my friend, it's my couch,

and it's my freakin' life!

It's also your roll.

You know what? It is your life.

If you want to have some stupid guitarist stay on your couch, then fine.

Why don't you just rent

some bun beds and invite The Black Eyed Peas?!

Hey, if I want to invite the entire lineup of Lollapalooza

to sleep in my apartment, I will,

and it's none of your business!

Are you listening to yourself?

Do you know how childish you sound right now?

Oh, now I'm a child?

Well, at least I'm not an idiot anymore!

The two aren't mutually exclusive!

Oh, you are such a--

What the hell is he doing?!

He's drowning us out.

He doesn't like fighting.

Sheldon, just stop! ok, the fight is over!

Oh, and FYI,

you never even heard of The Black Eyed Peas

until you met me!

I heard of 'em!

Didn't know they were a band.

Sheldon, she's gone.

You can turn off the blender.

Has your relationship reached its inevitable ugly end?

No, we just had a little spat.

Look on the bright side.

As the result of Penny's forfeit,

you have become the world's first winner of "Research Lab."

Would you like a commemorative snow cone?

* Our whole universe was in a high, dense state *

* Then nearly 14 billion years ago* The Earth began to cool t! *

* The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *

* We built the Wall * We built the pyramids *

* Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery*

*hat all started with a big bang *

* Bang! *

I don't get how she can just announce

that an old boyfriend is going to be sleeping on her couch.

Hey, I thought of a game we can play in the car.

I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.

It's called "Scientists."

Now, I will name three scientists,

then you will put them in order

of the size of their contribution

to their respective fields.

To make this game even more compelling,

you must consider only the contribution

of the man to the field,

not the validity of the field itself.

For example: Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayn

made a greater contribution to the discredited field of alchemy

than Halbert Vanderplatt made to neurobiology.

Okay, ready to have some fun?

An old boyfriend who's definitely not gay.

That's what a guy likes to hear-- "definitely."

All right, I'll start with an easy one:

Um, Isaac Newton, Madame Curie and Niels Bohr.

And then I say one little thing and I end up being the bad guy!

Hint: Madame Curie had her husband to help her.

What am I supposed to say?

"Sure, Penny, I'm cool with your old boyfriend

sleeping in your apartment."

"Well, Leonard, it doesn't matter if you're cool or not

"because I'm Penny and I'm pretty

and I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Oh, I get it!

"You think you're doing me a favor just by

being in a relationship with me!"

"No, no, Leonard! I'm doing you a favor

just by being in the same room as you!"

Leonard! Stop the car!

What?

I can't listen to the two of you fight anymore.

Come on, come on, we're late.

Calm down. We'll make the movie.

I believe my alarm is appropriate,

given the situation.

The movie starts in 17 minutes,

which means we'll need to make all the lights

on Colorado Boulevard, plus skip the concession stand,

and preshow urination.

Oh, dude, I wish you had said something

before pounded that last Red Bull.

Go, go, Power Rangers, go!

Hey.

Hey.

We're, uh, going to the movies.

No, we're not.

We're standing in the hallway,

suffering through an awkward encounter.

Hang on.

They're showing a new digital part of Time Bandits.

You wouldn't want to come, would you?

Not really, no.

All right, invitation pointlessly offered,

invitation declined as expected,

everyone's civil, nobody's fighting.

Have a nice evening.

Just give us a minute.

Oh, take all the time you need.

So, are we going to talk about last night?

Are you ready to apologize?

No.

Wrong answer.

But thank you for playing.

Oh, come on.

This is stupid.

Oh, there it is again!

You think I'm stupid!

No, there's a difference

between being stupid and acting stupid.

Oh, yeah? well, there's a difference

between being a jerk and being an ass!

No, there isn't!

They're synonyms!

Well, that was rather unpleasant.

Yeah, I don't think I need my preshow urination anymore.

Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago

I told you not to talk to her, and now look.

we're going to be late for the movies.

Hey! Look! Amazing Spider-Man 183.

Got it.

Remember this one?

Spider-Man loses a big fight