Landman

I'm driving up north.

Gonna plan a funeral.

Sorry to hear that.

Well, that's 'cause you never met her.

Every well hit.

Every one.

I need you to answer when I call.

Last time someone didn't answer is 'cause

they were already gone.

Don't think we should do this anymore.

Who paid for this?

There's a company in Odessa.

They financed the whole thing?

Have you ever heard

of a financial services company out of Odessa

called Sonrisa?

Find out everything you can about 'em.

The bar is open!

Who provided

the alcohol?

-Go sit down. -Make me.

I mean it.

Oh, my God.

Uncuff my fucking wife

and my fucking daughter

and let 'em go right now.

Hey, turn around!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey. -Get on the fucking ground!

Cami Miller, you've been served.

There was

a gas well off the coast of Louisiana

that blew out.

It means we need to drill a gas well

out in the ocean.

That's your new partner.

And it's a real fucking problem, son.

There! There! One o'clock.

Stop.

I want a picture.

Sumbitches are tough, ain't they?

Ran all the way up here.

Walt!

Can you keep this fucking thing straight?

No, I can't keep it straight.

When the road curves, I have to curve with it.

If you think this interstate's bumpy,

how about I run us out over that cow pasture there at about 80?

Well, then slow down

until I get my fucking makeup done.

If you hadn't rushed me out of the house--

Sweetheart, I didn't even ask you to come, remember?

Well, our new house ain't gonna find itself.

All right? We're meeting Stephen at noon.

No, you're meeting Stephen at noon. I got business.

That's the reason we're going up here to start with.

Grumpy dog. Who pissed in your Cheerios today?

Life, that's who.

Life pulled out its big dick and beat me over the head with it.

What are you doing?

You know car rides make me horny.

-Honey, come on. -Might as well do it

-before I get my lipstick on. -Sweetheart--

I'm trying to drive a fucking car.

We're in traffic here. Ow!

What's with the fucking teeth?

Oh, shit.

We got an audience, babe. Get up.

Roll down the window.

Hi.

I could write you a citation.

It would be worth it, Officer, but we'll behave, I promise.

Thank you.

Now, do you see what kind of shit you get us in?

Baby.

Yes, ma'am.

I need you in Fort Worth.

I'm at Monty's office.

His office? Why his office?

So I can show you how much money we don't have.

Okay. Well, I got a business meeting downtown.

I'll come right after that, okay?

I'll be here.

Call Rebecca Falcone.

Sure.

Let's call that bitch.

Hey.

Hey, are you still in Fort Worth?

I'm in the gym. I fly out at noon.

Thousand bucks, she's doing glute thrusts.

-You know I can hear you? -Am I wrong?

I bet you can push two plates a side with that ass.

Three.

Woo-hoo. You win lawyer with the strongest--

Shut up, girls, please.

Now, Rebecca, I-I need you to push your flight back.

You got to meet me at the Fort Worth office at one o'clock.

How do I push the flight back?

You just don't show up.

It's our plane. It ain't going nowhere.

-Okay, I'll see you at one. -Okay.

That balloon-lipped bubble butt--

You know what? New rule.

No talking for at least an hour after a botched blow job.

My head's so fucked-up now, I don't even know what I'm doing.

I'm still on the phone.

Godda--

Now you see what I mean?

It's fucking embarrassing.

Well, damn, this thing's in sorry shape.

She's a mess, boys.

-Lightning strike? -Yeah.

Hey, did Tommy say when the last time anybody was here?

It's been a minute.

Oh, I see that. Look at the leaks over there.

Jerrell, you see that?

-Son of a bitch is full. - She full?

Yeah.

This gauge is shot.

These valves are shot, too.

How's a company so broke,

can't afford to collect what it sells?

When you outsource everything and don't pay your bills,

there ain't no one to come collect it.

Hey, Jerrell, get up on that tank. Tell me what you see.

All right.

-King? -Yeah.

Go around and tell me what that belt look like

on the pump jack.

Big old leak in the hammer union.

-Hey, Boss? -Yeah.

You better take a look on the other side, man.

- What is it? - It looks like

-some kind of tank. -What, like a holding tank?

An army tank.

-Army tank? -Yeah.

What the hell you talking about, dude?

Did Tommy say anything about the military?

- No. - I'm serious, man.

You ain't hear nothing about the Army doing nothing

-out here, did you? - No, sir.

Tommy ain't mention nothing to me, either.

Well, these sons of bitches. You never fucking know.

Right, you right.

To that left over there!

Oh, this right here.

-Oh, fuck. -What the hell?

Fuck! Run!

-Run! -Run, run, run!

-Go, go! - What?

What is it?

Stay up there, Jerrell! Don't get down!

Don't come down! You're above it!

Stay back!

Oh, fuck!

What the fuck?!

Oh, shit. My eyes.

I got an H2S leak

at Coyote Field, 5272.

Send hazmat and EMS.

We got one trapped on the tank.

Do you have an alarm or exposure?

Both. Call TEXSAR. Get a helo out here.

Move it!

Jerrell! You hang tight!

Don't fucking move!

Can-can it get to him, Dale?

H2S is heavy, you know that, Boss,

but the fucking gas goes where the wind goes.

But the wind don't go up, Dale.

Wind goes wherever the fuck it wants, Boss.

Just stay there! Don't move! What'd they say? How long?

Probably ain't got much time.

Never had a job?

Never needed one.

Well, lucky you.

Read the other side.

I guess not so lucky.

Sorry.

Thank you.

-Kids? -A son.

You got day care figured out?

I live right across the street from his grandmother.

Day care is the only thing I have figured out.

So, never waited tables.

Well, in this part of the world,

the Patch is the Super Bowl of it.

On a good day, you can make four or 500.

You catch some landman who hit pay dirt,

hey, there's no telling the tip.

But

you've got to have the temperament for it.

Oh, what's the temperament for it?

Well, what you gonna do if some roughneck grabs your ass?

I'd probably stab him.

You ain't got the temperament for it.

Would friends call you bossy?

I'm Mexican. So, yeah.

Well, bossy makes good bartenders.

What kind of drinks would I need to make?

Oh, you know, nothing too tricky.