Liar

Need a hand? I'm fine.

Nicely done. Thanks. I can start my car all on my own, as well.

Sorry, I didn't mean to... I'm joking.

How is it out there today? Same as it always is. Perfect.

Who needs church when you've got this?

Yeah.

Well, enjoy. Thanks.

Hi, Laura. Hi, Danny.

Hey. Hey. Er...

Sorry, I thought you were back later.

Yeah, well, the world's full of surprises.

This is the last of it.

I left you Monty. I won him for you.

Maybe I'll visit at weekends. Don't think so.

Has to be for good this time.

Yeah.

It's no-one's fault.

Kinda makes it worse.

I'd like us to stay friends.

I know that sounds lame.

But there aren't many people I've known since I was 13.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

You don't fancy watching the game tonight, do you? Got these lovely salmon cakes in.

You don't need to stay in every night, Dad.

I don't stay in every night. When did you last go out?

Well, I mean... you know, I'm busy at work and got you to look after... You need to go out.

For both of our sakes. Trust me.

I lost you at salmon cakes, didn't I? Yep.

Schoolboy error. All right, have a good one.

Oh, Luke. Luke. Luke!

Luke!

Oh, yeah.

"Oh, thanks very much, Dad." "You're welcome, son."

Talking to yourself again. First sign of madness.

Shame you can't capture these magical moment, hey?

Gratitude. I mean... It's heart-warming, isn't it?

How are you? Oh, I'm good, yeah. You?

Yeah, I'm well.

You sure?

My bloody sister's been gossiping to everyone at the hospital about me and Tom, hasn't she?

Well, not everyone.

Cleaner hasn't been told yet.

Morning, Miss. Morning.

I'm fine, really. Good.

Cos I was wondering,

and it's fine if you don't, obviously,

and it's too soon...

Would you like to... go for a drink some time?

Oh, erm... No rush.

Maybe.

Sure, yeah, some time.

Of course. When you're ready.

Have a good day. Yeah, you, too.

See ya.

He's a bloody surgeon who drives a sports car. If you don't lock that down, I will.

He's got that single dad, brooding widower thing going on. Doesn't that tick every box?

Don't talk to me about boxes. I saw enough of those this morning.

Tom moved out the last of his stuff. Good!

It's been over for ages. You were never a proper couple, not really.

You were just old mates that got drunk, had sex and shacked up

because you were too polite to admit it was a mistake. Don't hold back. (LAUGHS)

You must understand, sir, that a person is either with this court

or he must be counted against it. There be no road between.

This is a sharp time now, a precise time. We live no longer in the dusky afternoon

when evil mixed itself with good and befuddled the world. Now, by God's grace, the shining sun is up

and them that fear not light will surely praise it.

Good. Thank you, Rebecca.

So, this statement by Danforth

really sums up the attitude of the authorities toward the witch trials.

Yes, Luke? Actually, I was just pointing at the light bulb.

Don't be stupid. If you're going to point at a light bulb, you point at it like this.

Right, OK, let's crack on.

So, what modern parallels...

Oh, hello. I hear wedding bells!

Oh, for God's sake. Am I 16 again? I feel like I'm in Dawson's Creek.

Oh, you wish. I actually do.

"He's always liked you, you know?"

Is it possible to divorce your sister?

Do you want to die alone?

A single woman in this hospital would give both arms and probably throw in a leg

for a drink with that man. I broke up with Tom this morning.

No, you broke up with him weeks ago. He left this morning.

"Text Andrew. Do it. Just do it!"

OK. OK.

Forwarding his number. Do it now or I'll hate you forever.

Let it go. Let the weight lift off your shoulders.

Shut out all the noise, Andrew.

Just repeat your mantra to yourself.

Slowly repeat your mantra.

I'm just gonna get that. Give it a proper go. You said you'd try.

I did. I sat down, didn't I? I closed my eyes.

If anyone could do with a bit of meditation, it's you.

Look, my wife swears by it.

Yeah, give me an aortic dissection any day.

You might have a point. Are you decent?

Very rarely. Patient's ready.

I don't even wanna ask.

Hey, Katy, don't suppose you've got any advice? Your sister?

I assume you know about this. Be nice to her or I'll kill you.

# This ain't love, it's clear to see

# So, darling, stay with me

"So, what's the plan?" I said dinner.

Do you think that's too much on a first date? "No, it's fine. It's a bit more grown up.

Anyway, I think he'd like to make a good impression.

I think he's nervous.

It's all right for some. I'd love to be taken out for a romantic dinner.

All I've got to look forward to tonight is bath time and checking for monsters under the bed.

Enjoy yourself. Let me know how it goes."

Yep, I will.

"OK. Bye!" Bye!

Yeah, I need a taxi, please. Erm, now.

OK, great. Yep, that's me. Thank you.

How are you tonight, then, my love?

Yeah, good, thanks.

Bit nervous, actually. I've got a date

and I'm a bit out of practice.

Like, really out of practice.

You know, 30 years ago, I was parked outside a hospital on a yellow line

and this traffic warden's writing me out a ticket so I go off at her.

I'm effing and blinding. And she stares at me

like she's a world poker champion.

Well, she just made my blood boil. You know, those people?

Yep, I know those people.

30 years of marriage to that woman and she still does it, that poker face.

I married her four months after she gave me that bloody ticket.

So you never can tell, see, what's around the corner. Hm!

Here you go. Keep the change. Oh, thank you.

You have a good one, darling. I will. Thanks.

Nice to meet you. You, too. Bye-bye.

Sorry I'm late. Don't be silly.

I couldn't get a taxi. Thank you.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello. Morning. Mind if I join?

As long as this lot behind me don't lynch you for queue-jumping.

So how was it? How was what?

Don't play coy. How was your big date?

Look, it was good, mate.

It was really good.

Hey. Oh, you're soaking!

Come in! No, I don't wanna see the kids.

What's the matter? What's going on?

Sorry to just come round like this, erm...

Laura, what's happened? Last night, erm...

Andrew, he came to my place for a drink after we'd been out and, erm...

I don't, er...

I don't remember. I don't...

I don't know what he did, Katy.

I don't know what he did.

Is Auntie Laura OK?

Yeah, she's fine.

I don't remember most of it.

It's just, erm...

just flashes and moments here and there.

How much... did you have to drink?

Er... I don't know.

More than I should've done.

I was nervous.

That's not what this was, though.

I remember... I remember kissing him.

And then...

And then we were on the bed and I think...

I think that's when I told him to stop.

You think? I didn't want to sleep with him, Katy.

Did you push him? Did you try and fight him off? I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so.

And, er... how did the evening end?

Always straight to the point. Well, I'm just asking.

I really like her, put it that way. I mean, she's amazing.

I know Andrew, I work with him.

If he really knew you didn't want to, I...

I realise how this sounds, I do, but I woke up this morning and I thought,

I felt like it was happening to someone else, that it couldn't be real, but it is. It was...

It was real, I know it was.

So, are you gonna see her again? Yeah, I hope so.

I sent her a text. Already?

No, you don't wanna be too clingy. Yeah, she hasn't replied.

Well, I'm not surprised. The minute you send those damn things,

time grinds to a halt wondering why they haven't texted back. It's like being a teenager again.

Thanks for dinner.

Oh, to be young again.

No thanks.

I'm sure you were too well behaved for that sort of thing. What does Luke call it? PDA?

Er, do you know, I didn't get much opportunity.

No?

I was more interested in chocolate than boys when I was younger.

It's still a close run thing.

What about you? What about me?

What were you like when you were at school?

Ah, pretty much perfect in every way.

Ah. So you became an arrogant sod later.

Yes, that came later.

Hello. Hi. Is it Laura? And you're Katy. Come in.

So if we go down here, we've got a room on the right.

It's a bit warmer.

Now, here's Julia. She's our forensic examiner today.

Erm, so this is Laura and this is Laura's sister.

OK. Thank you very much.

I'm gonna prepare the room now for examination. I'll let you know when I'm ready.

OK. I'll be with you in a moment, all right?

So, we would like to collect your underwear,