Peacemaker

Stop!

I'm not gonna hurt you.

Harcourt, hand me my gun!

- She knows? - She was walking around

with Peacemaker's X-ray vision helmet on.

He's not gonna like that. He's touchy about his helmets.

What the fuck?

We need to talk.

I figured it out when a bomb exploded

in Murn's face and he barely took any damage.

I already knew he had way more Butterfly knowledge

than what was possible from our current investigations.

I confronted him. He came clean.

My people came to Earth because our planet was dying.

Your people? The Butterflies?

The one in Goff, she's our leader.

- "She"? - Yes.

- Why "She"? - Well, she had a vagina.

Aliens got vaginas? What was her real name?

Unlike humans, we don't name our genitalia.

No. The one in Goff. What was her real name?

- You're interrogating me? - I guess.

You can't pronounce it with a human tongue.

I suppose it'd be something like "Eek Stack Ik Ik."

- Eek Stack Ik Ik? - Yes.

This shit is getting goofy.

We liked it here. We were gonna live out our lives.

But then Goff and the others started planning.

- For what? - How to dominate your world.

I was the sole dissenter. They said I was oversensitive.

You're oversensitive?

That's when they started leeching.

Using humans in positions of power as hosts.

- You took over someone? - Yes.

Yeah, you killed someone, whoever Murn really was!

I needed to stop them!

So I inhabited the worst person I could find.

This man, Leota, he's...

he's a murderer.

But still, I know his thoughts. He's...

Even he could have changed.

I know that. I took that from him.

I took his freedom and his face.

And every day, I dread waking up to his memories.

- Does Economos know? - He knows.

But he sticks his fingers in his ears

every time it comes up.

He doesn't want Waller knowing he's keeping something from her.

She doesn't know?

- No. And you can't tell her. - Why?

I told you a long time ago you can't trust Waller.

We can't risk anything going wrong.

We have to stop them.

Now that we attacked the bottling company,

they'll know we're on their trail.

And we need to be sure they don't move the cow

- before we find it. - The cow?

- Yes. - What cow?

You forgot to tell her about the cow.

There's a...

Yeah?

What? You got something to say?

Okay? Good.

All right, kids. And that's how I defeated Kite Man,

one of the world's most dangerous villains,

with only my two fists, my Desert Eagle,

and two rocket launchers. Any questions?

Uh... Yeah. Kid with the sad eyes.

You said the Blackheart Ruby weighed 30 pounds.

Yes.

And Kite Man was riding a kite?

- That's right. - Wouldn't he have crashed anyway

due to gravity?

No.

Yeah, chubster.

Do you have a coterie of supervillains?

No.

Any more questions?

Yeah, uh, gender-swapped Alfred E. Neuman.

- Have you ever met the Flash? - Yeah, I have met the Flash.

Like everybody else who's ever met him, I thought he was an unbearable d-bag.

What about Wonder Woman?

What about raising your hand?

Urkel.

- Have you met Wonder Woman? - I've never met her,

but she did spent an entire party eye-effing me

- from across the room. - Sick!

Dude.

Dude, I said, "Effing." Any more questions?

- Yeah, Canadian tuxedo. - Do you have a pet?

I do have a pet. That's a great question.

I have a pet named Eagly, he's an eagle.

Yeah, Rubik's Cube World Champion 2025?

Why is your pet's name so unoriginal?

Why are you my least favorite kid in this class?

Because I can see right through you,

and I think you're a loser.

- Loser! - Anyb...

- Loser! - Anybody else?

- Yeah, Jamil's kid. - Do you have an origin story?

What the fuck? You killed him.

Not in the traditional sense.

Any, uh... Any more questions?

- Skinny arms! - Did you know a Becky Coolidge?

- Becky Coolidge? - That's my mom.

She used to bartend at the Starlight Lounge.

Becky Coolidge! Yeah, that's right!

I haven't seen her in, like, ten years.

I think you might be my real dad.

- What? - Okay, guys!

I think Mr. Peacemaker has to go!

What a great show-and-tell, huh?

Thank you, Adiva, for bringing your uncle,

Peacemaker.

Hey! All right! Yeah! Yeah!

I appreciate you doing this, man.

No problem.

This little Garcia kid last week brings her uncle.

Guy's a veterinarian, he's got like a sick coati.

- Uh... A coyote. - A coati. It's like

a South American raccoon, they're adorable.

Motherfucking kids couldn't get enough.

My kid comes home, she's crying her eyes out,

because we got no relatives worth shit,

definitely none with dying coati.

I said, "Baby, don't you worry."

"Daddy knows a superhero!"

And this superhero, before he left the hospital,

he promised me he'd always be there for me,

no matter what I needed.

I never said anything like that, but okay.

As long as we make those other kids feel like shit, right?

That's all that matters!

Sure. Okay.

There you go.

See you soon, bitch.

Or as they say it in your language,

“ching chong chickety chopsticks.”

I think your Google translation's off, Auggie.

That means, "My haircut looks like a donkey took a shit on my head."

Wouldn't want to be ya.

"Wouldn't want to be ya"? Are you fucking kidding me?

I pretty much nailed him there. Not sure you needed to add the...

- I know, I fucked it up. - Detective Song!

What in the Sam Hill's happening here?

Captain, last night, I took all the evidence

- to a judge... - You took what to what?

...and I was issued an arrest warrant

for Christopher Smith, our new key suspect

in the murder of Annie Sturphausen.

We couldn't rightly have two people in jail

for the same crime.

You have got no idea what you're fucking with here.

There's something wrong with that guy.

Get the troops together. Let's go get Peacemaker.

Yeah.

Oh, God. No, it's over.

Where to, boss?

Well, I wanna go home, get a shower.

And maybe have a broad over to suck my dick.

And then I'm gonna do something

I should have done a long time ago.

- What's that? - Kill my fucking son.

Damn right.

Good boy. Good boy.

Okay, good.

Oh, such a good, handsome boy.

Getting hungry there, Goff?

Hey, quit complaining, you goofus.

I could have fed you to Eagly.

You really go through this stuff, huh?

I'll try to swipe some more.

You cool?

How do you know you can trust him?

I don't. It's an educated guess.

Something in your gut?

I don't trust my or anyone else's gut.

I trust logic.

And Murn's helped us way too much to be lying.

Adebayo knows Murn's a Butterfly.

So, he literally puts his fingers in his ears.

Yeah.

- Whoa. - You have something?

Yeah, security camera footage from the bottling plant.

Every three days,

there was a delivery of one of these giant tanks.

It's gotta be the raw amber fluid

that they're processing, right?

Yeah. But we've gotta figure out

where it's coming from for it to help us.

Let me check something out.

We're gonna approach with caution,

surround the trailer, and enter easy.

Peacemaker is a trained killer.

Do not hesitate to shoot him if he shows resistance.

Come in, Adrian!

How did you know it was me?

You knock in a very annoying way.

Oh, sorry.

Dude, you still have that thing?