BUNK'D

Everyone, allow me to welcome you back to Kikiwaka Ranch in style.

Cool new camp jeep, Lou.

And cool new invisible driver.

We appreciate you, sir.

Actually, this is a self-driving jeep. Watch.

Jeep, honk.

Whoa!

I can't believe we used to have to do that with our hands like peasants.

I feel like I'm in a spaceship.

Someone man the rear laser cannons

and watch for alien crafts approaching.

Did your moms let you start playing video games again?

Yes.

And if they ask, I am in control.

I can't thank you guys enough for donating the lost treasure of Dusty Tush to the Camp.

I think you're gonna be pretty impressed

with some of the improvements I've made.

Wait, are you promising a ropes course with actual ropes, Lou?

Because I've been hurt before.

Mostly on the ropes course.

Ooh, are we gonna get beans with real beans

and not a product that does not contain actual beans?

Think bigger, guys.

This is the summer of unlimited funds and unlimited fun.

Nothing can stop us now.

Uh, did we just pass camp?

Jeep, stop us! Now.

We're going faster.

Oh.

Okay.

How about I make this self-driving jeep a myself driving jeep?

I don't like it!

I can't die!

My horses and I have left so much unsaid!

Man, I missed camp!

Jeep, emergency shutdown!

Does anyone wanna hear about our new ropes course?

Destiny!

Noah!

I missed you!

I know. We have so much to catch up on.

What did the CIA want?

Classified, don't worry about it.

More importantly, a little birdie told me

you have a second camper this year.

You've taken your first step

into a larger world.

I really don't think it's that big a...Hush, child.

You know not of what you speak.

Okay.

I need to show you something.

Come to the clearing in the woods tonight

after your two campers have gone to sleep.

Be discreet.

I'll try for discreet,

but my fashion inspiration words for this summer are

"Look at me."

Speaking of new looks,

is it just me or does this camp seem different?

Yeah, I'm getting that.

Why are you guys so late?

Lou almost killed us with Meryl Jeep.

Ah, like the time she crashed Bike Tyson?

More like Skate Middleton.

Okay, we get it.

Guys, look at all the cool new stuff

I bought for the camp with the treasure.

Like automatic doors. Watch.

Ta-dah!

Let's see the giant bats try to open these babies.

I wanna try!

I don't like it, it's mean.

Man, why isn't anything I bought working?

The jeep's auto drive,

the doors, the ball pit that swallowed a camper.

Don't worry, we can still hear him.

I hoped it wasn't true, but there was a legend

about the lost treasure of Dusty Tush being...

Tax deductible?

Cursed!

Cursed?

Why did you let us hunt for a cursed treasure

all last summer?

Well, I didn't really believe it.

The curse was something my weird Uncle Lutz always talked about.

Then again, he also thought cows were spying on him.

They can't do that.

Cows have to tell if they're working for the cops, right?

But if Uncle Lutz was right,

that would explain why the Buttock brothers hid the treasure away.

The curse is real!

You should give all this new stuff back, Lou!

Before the ball pit feasts again.

Absolutely not.

Enrollment is way up with me being able

to advertise all this cool stuff.

People love the idea of these doors.

Guys? A little help?

Fine, I'll get the old doors out of storage.

But not for cursed reasons, because I like the look.

Hi, new friends!

Hi, there! Are you the new Mustang?

Oh, close.

I'm the new human.

Mustangs have four legs and extra vertebrae.

Common mistake.

Well, not really common, but try not to feel bad.

Actually, Mustang is our cabin name.

I'm Destiny, and this is Winnie.

Hi, nice...

Guess we're not doing handshakes this year.

Hmm.

Fear, sweat and girl power.

Let me guess. You're kind of a...

Daredevil?

Also...

O positive?

Oh, she's good.

How did you do that? You're nose is so smart.

I grew up on my parents' nature preserve,

so animals taught me everything I know.

But I can't wait to hang out

with some human friends this summer.

Really tired of saying "No monkey business,"

and the monkeys replying, "It's just business, girl."

Wait, you can talk to animals?

What? You don't believe me?

Of course we believe you.

You're like a regular Doctor Dolittle.

Who's that?

Was she also homeschooled with seals?

Hey, wanna come meet some of my friends?

Okay. Just let me change first,

because you know what turkeys say about first impressions.

Do you think Lou gave you

the two most high-maintenance campers on purpose?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. It's my worst nightmare.

I'm underdressed.

Don't worry, Destiny,

your attitude is always black-tie.

Welcome to the two-camper club.

What?

I said, "Welcome..."

No, no, I heard the weird words.

What exactly is a two-camper club?

Oh, just a community of counselors

who gather once a week to network, fellowship,

and discuss the two-camper lifestyle

with a little pizzazz.

Two-camper lifestyle?

Yeah. We help each other

with two-camper specific problems.

Like when you're helping one kid with laundry,

and the other accidentally gets on a non-stop train to Cheyenne.

I think that's a Jake-specific problem.

At least he brought us back fudge.

We also do recipe swaps

specifically for three-person meals.

Oh, and we have so many inside jokes.

Just go up to Carl sometime, and ask him about...

Ask him about his cat, it's hilarious.

Just make sure I'm there when you do it.

Wow. This sounds like a lot of fun.

So much fun, it's almost upsetting to hear about.

Am I red? I feel red!

You seem stressed.

It's too bad I couldn't tell you about our winter spa retreat.

Oh, there was this cucumber facial

that would have taken that twitch right out your eye.

Noah, why didn't you tell me about any of this?

I also like pizzazz.

Because you didn't have two campers last summer.

The first rule of two-camper club is

"Don't tell one-campertons about two-camper club."

"One-campertons" is what we call you guys.

Yeah, I cracked the code!

I can't believe you kept this a secret from me.

Having one camper isn't that different from having two campers.

I know, guys, don't worry.

She'll learn.

Wait! Don't leave.

We got you two symbolic cakes!

How's it going up there, Lou?

Amazing.

This brand-new parasail and self-driving boat

is gonna be awesome for the kids to use this summer at camp.

I love being rich.

Lou, remember the curse.

And check your privilege, but mostly remember the curse!

Bill, I'm with Lou on this one.

And not just 'cause she said I can use that thing next.

Lou, bring me back an eagle.

Bill, Parker's right. There is no curse.

Okay, the tow line just broke,

I'm not longer attached to the boat,

but I'm sure this is still just a coinci... Dence!

Oh, good, it looks like she's gonna land on the green lawn.