Graduation

By your senior year in high school,

You either know what you want to do in life or you don't.

But first comes graduation.

Ours was today.

I probably would have gone, except for one thing...

The police had us surrounded.

Let's go

I wanna take you for a ride...

I want...

To get into Harvard.

Okay, I want a date to prom.

But she's gotta like iggy, yeah,

And have long legs and... Oh, shit!

I want...

A 10-Inch penis.

Whoo-Hoo!

I want...

get out.

Oh, hey, this isn't the last one before graduation, right?

No. No, dude, we definitely got time.

Bye. Don't work too late, Carl.

Good night, Jackson.

Hey.

- Sleep tight. - I would sleep so much tighter

If I had something to hold on to.

- Hold on to this. - Hey hey!

- Bye. - Bye.

Hey, mama.

- Hey hey, Polly. - Hey.

- Going back to work? - Yeah yeah, I gotta crunch some numbers with Barbara.

This new loan program's a mess.

- You hear anything? - I'm not getting in.

- Go to work, please. - Okay, all right.

Come in through the front. Your mom's gonna go nuts

If she sees you all wet like that.

The cheetah has accelerated from a standstill...

- how you feeling, ma? - Hey.

The dry scrub brush of the african plain

Provides a perfect launching pad...

Legs again, huh?

It's nothing.

So you think he'll be awake?

Carl? No way.

Carl! Carl!

Get up, man.

Ow! Ow!

Carl needs sleep.

No.

Carl needs coffee.

Mm-Hmm, Carl needs coffee.

- Better? - Oh yes.

Thanks, hon.

- Hello. - Good morning, sleepyhead.

Oh, Jesus, I knew you were in here. I could smell you

- From all the way down the hall. - Ha ha ha.

- Hey, who needs a bowl? - Hey, I'll take care of that.

No no no, not so fast, you flash, you.

- Yep, we're making breakfast. - It's all us.

Do you want the cap'n or cornflakes?

Since you're asking, both.

Thank you.

Hey, mare, guess what.

Me and Polly got our dorm assignments for state.

- We're in the same one. - Oooh!

- They let you in? - Hey, eat me.

Come on, boys.

Is she not the cutest girl in the world?

What about you, Jackson?

Surely you've heard from a few schools by now.

I didn't have the scores, mrs. J.

You don't do something with yourself, you're gonna have to answer to me.

Whoa!

Good morning.

Hey, dad!

Hi, dad.

You know what I mean. Watch out, chauncey!

Wow, man,

You really suck at driving, don't you?

Excuse me. Two weeks to graduation

Means two weeks to my final.

Earth to mr. Boyd.

Can you name me two families in the basidiomycota phylum?

Mr. Jackson, can you help mr. Boyd?

No, sir.

Why should we care about fungi at all?

Yes, Polly.

- Without it, we wouldn't have penicillin. - Yeah, or beer.

Precisely, mr. Boyd.

Carl.

- Yeah. - Come on.

Hey, you thought any more about your speech you're gonna give?

- I'm not valedictorian. - Maybe it's a matter of time.

When you do give a speech, don't talk about the journey

Or the future being wide open.

Or how we're all the leaders of tomorrow.

- Diamonds in the rough. - Raw clay.

- I hate raw clay. That's so dumb. - Okay, I get the idea.

This is so stupid.

- Hey! - Hey!

Hey, it's late. What are you doing here?

I told your mom I had to drop off

Some homework.

She's still home. She's downstairs.

Yeah, I know. It's never stopped us before.

Oh, my god!

- Come here. - No no no.

I just... I... I... Okay.

No, I...

I just don't feel like it, okay?

What's wrong?

I got into Harvard.

Oh my god. It's amazing. I mean...

It's not s.U.

No no, I know it's not, but...

Okay...

There's still thanksgiving

And winter break

And spring break

And summer.

We can make it work, you know?

- You really think so? - Mm-Hmm.

- I'm proud of you. - Mom!

What are you doing home?

I got drunk last night celebrating the day your mom left us

For the carpet salesman. Company shipped without me.

After last night,

I gotta drive 15 in a row just to make the mortgage.

And that means missing graduation.

I'm sorry as hell.

I don't even know if I'm going.

- Hey, mike. - Yeah.

- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.

When did you know that you wanted

To be a truck driver?

I didn't.

You ready for this? I wanted to dance.

What do you wanna be?

I don't know.

"Your account has exceeded its maximum annual...

Reimbursement. We regret to..."

- Whoa, mom. Mom, mom!

- Carl, it hurts! - Mom mom mom!

Your mother's got a lot of fans here pulling for her,

- But I have to be honest. - Don't.

There is one alternative with this kind of cancer...

- A bone marrow transplant. - Okay, let's do it.

The hospital received a call from your insurance carrier yesterday.

You're not even covered for this visit.

Okay.

How much for everything?

$100,000.

I can sell my car.

That's nice.

Would you really sell your car?

Yeah, I mean, your mom taught me how to drive.

Excuse me.

Come on.

My dad will loan you the money easy.

- You just gotta ask him. - Yeah, I know.

No, I'm sorry, Carl.

There's...

There's absolutely nothing the bank can do.

- Hey, Polly. - Hey, where were you?

You missed dinner.

- What's the matter? - Where's dad?

Where do you think?

Dad!

Hey, how's my little Harvard girl?

Why is the alarm on?

Well, mom made me promise to keep it on.

Why, is everything okay?

If mrs. J doesn't get this money, dad...

Honey, honey, there's no way

That Carl could repay that loan,

Which makes it a gift. And it's not my money to give.

Yeah, but it's insured, dad.

Come on, can't you just do it this once?

The fdic covers the bank in case it's robbed

Or burns down,

Not if I start giving money away.

You know that, sweetie.

You're right.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Oh, honey.

Is everything all right, mr. Deeley?

- Yeah. - Hey, Polly.

- Hi. - Congratulations. Your dad told me...

- Harvard. - Thanks, Barbara.

It's funny seeing you here at this hour.

Funny, yeah.

Um, I...

I should get going.

Since the auditorium asbestos clean up

Has gone slower than expected,

We're going to cut today's rehearsal short.

Just a reminder:

Graduation will be next Monday, 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Be sure your parents are in their seats 15 minutes early.

I have a way to help your mom.

Graduation is at 9:00