Doctor Who

Danger!

This is a warning.

A warning to the whole world.

You're looking for Wi-Fi.

And sometimes you see something...

A bit like this.

Don't click it. Do. Not. Click. It.

Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer.

They can see you.

And if they can see you, they might choose you.

And if they do...

you die.

Within 24 hours, you're dead.

For a while.

People's souls are being uploaded to the internet.

Some people get stuck. Their minds, their souls, trapped in the Wi-Fi.

Like echoes. Like ghosts.

I don't know where I am!

Sometimes you can hear their screams.

On the radio. On the telly. On the net.

I don't know where I am!

I don't know where I am!

This is real. This is not a hoax.

I, I don't know where I am!

Or a joke.

Doko?

Or a story. I don't know where I am!

This is real and I know that, because...

I don't know where I am.

Please, if you can hear me...

If you can hear me,

I don't know where I am.

I don't know where I am! I don't know where I am!

I don't know where I am! I don't know where I am!

Wake the Abbott. The bells of Saint John are ringing!

We must go to him!

They call him the mad monk, don't they?

They shouldn't. He's definitely not a monk.

I'm sorry to intrude. The bells of Saint John are ringing.

I'm going to need a horse!

Is that her?

The woman twice dead, and her final message.

He has withdrawn to this place of peace and solitude

that he might divine her meaning.

If he truly is mad, then this is his madness.

Angie, is the internet working?

Trying to phone the helpline, they won't answer.

It's working for me. Can I use it when you're finished?

More than one person can use the internet at a time, Clara.

You done your homework? Shut up, you're not my mum!

And I'm not trying to be. OK?

Right, yes! Angie's probably fine on her own,

you could probably have the night off.

I'm OK, I'll be upstairs trying to figure out my computer.

Anyway, the adverts are in, so hopefully we'll find someone.

I'm here as long as you need me.

Good! Right, come on, Artie, time to go.

What chapter you on?

Ten. 11's the best. You'll cry your eyes out.

Artie!

Oh, come on, just answer, just pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

That is not supposed to happen.

Hello?

Ah, hello. I can't find the internet.

I'm sorry? It's gone, the internet. Can't find it anywhere. Where is it?

The internet?

Yes, the internet. Why don't I have the internet?

It's 1207.

I've got 3.30. Am I phoning a different time zone?

Yeah, you really sort of are.

Will it show up on the bill?

Oh, I dread to think. Listen, where did you get this number?

Woman in the shop wrote it down.

It's the helpline, isn't it? She said it was the best

helpline out there. In the universe, she said.

What woman? Who was she?

I dunno, the woman in the shop.

So why isn't there internet?

Shouldn't it just sort of... be there?

Look, listen, I'm not actually... this isn't...

You have clicked on the Wi-Fi button, haven't you?

Hang on. Erm...

Wi-Fi?

Click on the Wi-Fi.

You'll see a list of names. Is there one you recognise?

It's asking me for a password.

Is it OK if I go and see Nina? You can call her mum.

Sure. What's the password for the internet?

Rycbar123.

How am I supposed to remember that?

Is it an evil spirit?

It's a woman.

Hang on. Just a mo. Run. You. Clever. Boy. And. Remember.

One!

Run, you clever boy.

Two!

And remember.

Three!

What did you say?

Don't shout, you made me type it wrong.

It's thrown me out again. What do I do, how do I get back in?

It was just a thing to remember the password.

Run, you clever boy and remember. Oh, hang on!

Hello, yes, I hear you.

Yep. Uh-huh. Hello?

Clara? Clara Oswald?

Hello? Clara Oswin Oswald?

Just Clara Oswald. What was that middle one?

Do you remember me?

No. Should I? Who are you?

The Doctor. No? The Doctor?

Doctor who?

No, just the Doctor.

Actually, sorry, could you just ask me that again?

Could I what? Could you just ask me that question again? Doctor who?

OK, just once more.

Doctor who?

Oh, yeah. Oh!

D'you know, I never realised

how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud.

Thank you. OK.

Hey, no! Clara, please. Clara, I need to talk to you!

Listen, please.

Clara Oswald.

We've got a positive lock on her, but I think she's borderline.

Very clever, but no computer skills.

Upload her anyway, splice her a computer skills package.

I'll activate a Spoonhead.

Alexei, we call them servers, not Spoonheads.

Sorry, Miss Kizlet.

I'm ever so fond of Alexei,

but my conscience says we should probably kill him.

I'll inform HR.

Actually, he's about to go on holiday.

Kill him when he gets back, let's not be unreasonable.

Didn't you want to speak to me?

We're uploading too many people, too quickly. We're going to get noticed.

If your conscience is bothering you, think of it like this.

We're preserving living minds, in permanent form in the data cloud.

It's like immortality. Only fatal.

My conscience is fine.

Good. Because our client has his needs.

Did you just hack me?

Because you changed your mind?

I hope I did.

Please! I just need to speak to you!

Why are you still here? Why are you here at all?

You phoned me. You were looking for the internet.

That was you? Course it was me.

How did you get here so fast?

I just happened to be in the neighbourhood. On my mobile phone.

When you say "mobile phone", why do you point at that blue box?

Because it's a surprisingly accurate description.

OK, we're finished now.

Oi, no, look...

Angie?

Angie, are you upstairs?

Angie, are you still here?

Hello.

Hello.

Are you a friend of Angie's?

I'm a friend of Angie's.

What where you doing upstairs?

I was upstairs.

I know you, don't I?

You know me... don't you?

Right, don't be a monk.

Monks are not cool!

Ah-ha!

Clara?

Clara?

Hello?

See? Look, it's me! De-monked.

Sensible clothes. Erm, can I come in now?

I don't understand.

Could you just open the door? I don't know...

Of course you can!

Where I am.

I don't know where I am.

Where am I? Please tell me, where I am!

I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am!

Clara! Clara?

I don't know where I am!

I don't understand. I don't know where I am!

I don't know where I am! I don't understand! I don't know where I am!

Where am I? I don't know where I am.

I don't know where I am.

I've got a problem!

A walking base station.

A walking Wi-Fi base station, hoovering up data.

Hoovering up people!

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, no, you don't.

It's like someone is trying to reverse an upload.

Is that possible?

If the upload isn't fully integrated yet - in theory, yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Not this time, Clara, I promise you.

Can you stop this?