3 Men and a Little Lady

Sylvia: Mary, honey, come and eat breakfast!

Just the person I've been waiting for.

- Good morning, buttercup. - Good morning, Jack.

Will you please help me pick a tie for today's interview?

How's this one grab you?

No? Too traditional? Absolutely right.

How 'bout this one?

Too avant garde. I knew that.

How about-- No, I hate that one.

- How about this one? - I like that one.

Yeah? Then this is the one.

What would I do without you?

Did you see my red shoe?

Your red shoe? No, I don't think I have.

But wait a minute.

If I were a red shoe, where would I hide?

I know. Right over here. Ha ha! No.

Uh, here? No.

Uh, what about back here?

Nope. Whoo!

Mary, honey, your breakfast is ready!

Are you going to the "inner"?

The interview? Of course I am.

I'm gonna meet your teachers,

tell 'em what a great kid you are

and that they have to take you.

What should I wear?

Let's pick something out.

Oh, thanks. I needed that.

- There you go. - Mary.

Go eat your breakfast. Hurry up.

Did you get that review I put on your desk?

Yes, I got it, thank you.

I loved seeing that guy eat crow

after what he said about you in Doll's House.

Don't you take my reviews a little too personally?

No, I don't think so.

Every time we're in a restaurant

and you see a critic,

you want to throw your butter knife at him.

I would've got the last guy if he hadn't moved.

Oh, you missed a spot.

Hello, lovely ladies.

Hello. Here's your breakfast, Michael.

Thanks. Toast is done.

Damn!

Jerry, I know what I'm talking about.

I realize you're trying to save money,

but we are building an office for 12,000 people.

You can't put a bathroom on every other floor.

What if they don't go before they come to work?

Fine, okay.

I'll hold. Morning, everyone.

- Morning, Pete. - Morning.

Can you believe how people try to save money?

Is that Jerry again?

Yeah, the Albert Schweitzer of real estate.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, look.

My foot must have grown last night.

That's my shoe, silly.

Thank God. I thought it was me.

Mary, don't you like your oatmeal?

It tastes like rubber.

It's supposed to taste like rubber.

- What a crock. - Hey, hey, hey.

Where did you hear that expression?

What a crock!

What? What'd I do?

Just...

Finish getting dressed, honey.

I'll fix you something else.

Jack: Now scoot.

Oh. Did I say overnight?

I meant over light.

You don't like my eggs?

You kidding me? I love your eggs.

That's the best part about you.

They're perfect, just like you are.

Look. Hey. You did your hair.

Oh, someone noticed.

Are we ready for the interview?

- Absolutely. - Definitely.

Yes, we are ready.

What about your commercial shoot?

They gave me an hour off.

Jack, this is the school we want Mary to go to.

I know. I've been here during the five years

it took us to decide on this place, remember?

They put less research into the SALT treaty.

Primary school is the first--

First watershed event of a child's life.

Have I said that before?

Not in the last five minutes, Pete.

Hey, I'll be there.

Just don't be late.

Have I ever let you down before?

Sylvia: Now, Mary, while we're talking with the ladies,

you'll be in a class with other boys and girls.

Okay.

Relax.

This isn't going to hurt.

You know, I think we'd better start.

I think it's getting late. Yes, it is.

So you're the architect?

That's right.

And you are the cartoonist?

Actually, I'm a satirist.

Michael draws Johnny Cool.

Oh, that cute kitten.

Well, he's really not a kitten.

He's a cat who symbolizes the angst

of the single man in our times.

I just adore that little hat he wears.

And Mr. Holden is...

The actor.

But very stable.

Salt of the earth.

Not one of these fellas that's--

Michael, I think they know

that actors are normal people.

Good afternoon!

Oh, my God!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to frighten you.

Please forgive the makeup.

I'm in the middle of a commercial shoot

for Fairlawn Margarine. I play Count Cholesterol.

Probably seen me on TV, huh?

How do you do?

Hmm. How do you do?

Rrr. Ha ha ha.

I had a hell of a time catching a cab.

What? Oh!

Thank you.

Ooh.

Lookit.

Mary's drawn a picture of her family.

Isn't that wonderful? That's wonderful, Mary.

Is that you?

Yeah? Is that your mommy?

Yes.

And who's that?

That's my biological daddy.

Oh. Who's that?

That's my one honorary daddy,

and that's my other honorary daddy.

We all live together.

Okay.

Everybody put the tops back on your markers

and take your drawings up to the front.

You have three daddies? That's weird.

How come?

Julie has two daddies,

but not at the same time.

Why not?

You can't have more than one father