Family Reunion

Family Reunion was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Hey, Dad, what kind of tree is that?

That's a weeping willow, Shaka.

Oh, poor tree.

Even you're sad to be stuck in the boonies of Columbus, Georgia.

I could smell M'Dear's cooking from the airport.

Smells delicious.

Smells like ten extra pounds.

-You don't have to eat it. -Oh, try and stop me.

Oh, it's hot here.

Africa hot.

You're a drama queen.

I know I've been doing a really good job at covering,

but I do not want to be here.

We know!

My baby is home!

Oh, I missed you, M'Dear.

You see why I call him a mama's boy?

It has been such a long time since we've seen you.

And, Cocoa...

you and the kids.

Oh, you're getting so big.

Ami, come here, come here.

Yeow.

Ha ha ha.

-Dad? -Now, I don't know if I can hug a man

who beat my Falcons with a last-second touchdown catch.

Oh, okay, okay.

Uh, could you hug the man that bought you a brand-new Cadillac?

Boy, come here and hug your daddy.

Uh-huh. Ha ha ha ha.

Ah, Mazzi, you're getting to be such a big boy.

Uh, M'Dear, I'm ten.

I'm a man now.

-Oh. Ooh. -Smell.

Don't do it.

You can never unsmell that.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

What's wrong with Princess Pouty?

She's just upset because her friends are at a party,

but we insisted she come to the family reunion.

It's not just a party.

It's the biggest social event of the year.

You're not happy to see your grandpa?

I'm always happy to see you.

Just why couldn't the family reunion be in Seattle?

Because we're the only family that lives there.

Yeah. You want all of your family members to pack up and come to Seattle

so you can go to a party?

Oh, my gosh, that would be so dope!

Let me check flights.

Um... yeah, your reception's kinda bad out here.

What's your Wi-Fi password?

We don't have Wi-Fi.

Okay, is that all one word?

It's not a password. We don't have Wi-Fi.

Yep, ah, this is where I die.

Mmm-mmm-mmm. M'Dear, you put your foot in this chicken.

Yuck.

Sweetheart, it's just an expression that means the food is really good.

M'Dear is the best cook in the family.

Thank you, Cocoa, but my sister Maybelle would not agree.

Millie, now whose pies have won the most reunion bake-offs?

Yours or Maybelle?

Oh, Jeb, nobody keeps up with that kind of stuff.

But if they did, it would be me.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, everybody!

Uncle Daniel!

What's up, rugrats?

-All right, get off me now. Get off me. -Hold up, hold up.

Uh, Moz, Cocoa, so good to see y'all.

No time to chat, but we'll talk later. Uh, listen.

Get this. I got a lady friend coming over this evening,

and out of all things, I said-- Hey, Daddy, how you doing?

I told her, right,

that I was gonna be the one cooking for both of us this evening.

Out of all things. I said, "Me? I ain't the person supposed to be cooking."

I said, "You know what? I might go ahead and do that." You know?

Oh, my God. It is so good seeing all y'all.

I swear, M'Dear, you ain't never lied when you said,

"Ain't nothing like Sunday dinner with family," right? Y'all, God bless.

What just happened?

Uncle Daniel took all the cornbread.

He was so fast.

Not fast enough.

- -

-Hey. Boom. -Yeah.

Who wants some banana puddin'?

-Ooh! -Yes, yes, yes.

Banana pudding? I love you way more than my other grandma.

Shaka, stop! Stop.

Wow, Jade. You're the same color as this pudding.

Leave your sister alone.

Black people come in all shades, and we're all beautiful.

Mm-hmm.

Jade just takes more after my mother.

But Grandma Daffee is white.

Yeah, and she's still darker than you.

Y'all better stop teasing Jade.

You gonna need her to help you get a cab someday.

-M'Dear said no children in the parlor. -Then why are you in here?

I am not a child.

Well, I am.

Someone's gonna die.

Come on. Get back. Come here.

- -Get back here right now!

-I just heard it. What are you-- -Guys, that's--

Calm down. Hey, guys, that's enough. Hey!

Enough!

- -

Somebody better start praying before I forget I know Jesus.

-M'Dear, we are so sorry. -Don't worry. We'll clean everything up.

Kids, clean everything up.

-Aren't you gonna punish them? -Oh, absolutely.

What do you think is an appropriate punishment?

Proverbs 13:24. "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

No, I was talking to the kids.

As conscious parents, we believe it's more meaningful

-if they pick their own punishments. -What? Who's in charge here?

Mama, we encourage the kids to be in charge of their own destinies.

We're new-school parents.

And the jails are full of new-school kids who need they butts whipped.

Millie, it is none of our business.

Remember, church starts at 8:00 a.m.

We don't go to church. Dad says we belong to Bedside Baptist.

Uh... what? Heh.

I think that's an-that's an old joke.

Dave Chappelle? Ha ha ha ha ha.

He's... He's hilarious.

Moz McKellan, come here.

Now, you are the son of a pastor.

Folk have been praying for you since before God put you in this world.

How dare you turn your back on him?

I haven't turned my back on him. I'm trying to do something different.

Amelia, we can't tell Moz how to live his life,

nor can we tell him how to raise his kids.

I can if he ain't doing it right.

Church at eight? We'll be there at seven.

Morning, sir. Thank you so much.

Whoa. Look at all the black people.

What is this foolishness?

We live in Seattle.

Don't blame Mazzi. He's just never seen this many of us in one place.

Oh, I don't blame him.

Hey, family.

Oh, Aunt Maybelle. I love that hat.

Thank you, baby. It's from the Shirley Caesar spring collection.

-Oh. -The winter collection has polar bear fur.

Polar bear? Oh, that's sharp.

Church ladies love their hats.

Ooh, look at that one.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

Hallelujah!

Oh, yes! Thank you!

That lady's possessed. I'm out.

Sit. That's your cousin Rosalind. She got the Holy Ghost. It's a good thing.

Yes, Lord! Yes, sir!

Amen. Hallelujah.

This story of the prodigal son

illustrates...

that when a loved one goes astray...

God...

can get him home again.

-Amen. -Hey, okay. Calm down.

How was I supposed to know she was your sister?

Even after you changed the locks,

you wonder how they found the new key.

God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you.

Sit down.

Did the collection plate already go around?

-Yeah. -Ooh. Thank God.

Shh.

Whoo! Jesus, help me!

Hallelujah!

The Holy Ghost got Ami.

Carry me out fast. Otherwise, we'll never make it out of here.

- We'll handle this. We got this. -Come on, let's go. Come on.

I don't need anyone to show me around town.

I'm not staying that long.

Honey, don't be antisocial.

- -You're gonna like Ava.

-She's the life of Bible study. -

Hi. You must be Jade.

-Heh heh. -I'm Ava. Nice to meet you.

Well, you girls go have fun.

Okay.

Have you heard the one about the last appetizer?

Ava is going to be such a good influence on Jade.

Well, how do you know Jade won't be a good influence on Ava?

You're right. It didn't even sound right coming out.

-Give me a second. -Okay, yeah. Go ahead.