Barcelona Christmas Night (Barcelona, nit d'hivern)

If you expect one of those stories, a sentimental film about love,

you're going to be disappointed.

We'll see about that. So what then?

Well, I went on a date.

A date?

Yes, a date, but a date-date.

With messages first,

I can't do tomorrow, well I can't the day after,

well then I'll have to check my agenda,

making it quite clear from the start, that I'm not exactly an easy guy.

Very well, very well, but how did it go?

Well... It didn't go.

But it wasn't my fault, I mean, I had it all under control.

I took her to the pictures, then I took her to dinner,

I accompanied her to her door and then, well, we...

went upstairs to her flat

and there was a bit of everything. -Everything?

You make me tell you about some things, Antonia...

We went out for a few days, a few weeks,

and then I don't know what came over me,

but I lost interest in knowing where the thing was going.

And here we are.

It's always the same. -Yes, always the same.

I don't know, I suppose love is not for me.

I'll tell you something, Antonia.

It's possible that love doesn't exist.

It's a trick of nature, yes.

So that we have children, so that the species can survive.

Sensitive, active, basic.

Basic, as always, Carles. Like you.

Carles, how on Earth is the child going to weigh 11 to 16 kilos?

You don't reckon? I picked her up the other day

and I almost slipped a disc.

That's because you do no exercise.

Or because you don't pick her up much.

I don't? When I pick her up at home, I do sets lifting her like this,

building my arms up.

Serotonin, phenylethylamine

dopamine, pheromones,

chemical elements that make up part of nature's plan.

Hey, that's not an insult, it isn't even a word.

Of course it is. -Oh really? What is an agastopic?

You're an agastopic.

Agastopic your mother!

See how it does exist, even you use it.

That's for the youngsters that still believe in it all.

Don't say those things, Miguel. -But it's the truth.

And the girl comes to me and says that...

she wants to break up.

The same thing keeps happening to me, Sara,

they all leave me,

I don't know what I do wrong, what do I do wrong?

The truth is... I don't know.

Pure chemistry, Antonia, pure chemistry.

Oh, Miguel...

And it's not just me who says so, a lot of authors say the same.

Do you want me to jot down one of those web sites that I use?

No, please, Antonia.

Here he is and he doesn't say a word. -But I've just arrived.

Give me a kiss. -Of course.

You're more handsome since you've been going out.

Oh, Miguel, what are we going to do with you?

I don't know, Antonia. I've just lost all...

Listen, you can finish this off by yourself, can't you?

Yes, thanks a lot.

Hope the parade goes well. -Thanks, Antonieta.

BARCELONA, WINTER NIGHT

It has to be today.

Today, what?

No, we already discussed it.

Listen, Júlia, today is the day.

Why does it have to be today? I don't feel very well.

Can't it be tomorrow or another year?

In the end, for what? -Because this can't be.

Of course it can. It's always been.

Well, now it won't be anymore.

Rebellion is at 20, not 80, Carme.

It'll be ok.

Granny, can I help you with that? It must be heavy.

Hey, Júlia.

Yes, she left without looking back.

I've never seen anyone run so fast in my life.

Who the hell is he telling it now? -How do I know, man?

You do understand me, Sara.

You're an incredible girl, attentive, understanding, pretty.

Sorry, look, I have to go, I have work to do at the desk.

Ok, ok,

Ok, enough. Listen the both of you.

What are you wearing?

This is typical of Catalonia, I bought it on the Ramblas.

Everyone wears it here, the odd thing is not to wear it.

I haven't seen anyone wear it. -Well, they wear it.

Will you let me speak? Thank you.

I have flyers for a bar for tonight.

I've got it all prepared. Here.

Put it away, don't let the mossos catch you,

or they'll beat you up. -This is marijuana.

Of course, tonight. Which part did you not understand?

I'm not going to go out,

I'm going to have dinner in the hotel and watch a film.

Film? A film's good too.

A cool film, not just any crap.

A romantic comedy, something for everyone.

Love Actually, for example. That's fucking good.

And candles, we'll need candles too

for when we get in the bathtub naked and we all suck our own cocks.

You promised me that we we're going out,

no dinner tonight.

Man, the plane leaves first thing in the morning.

We're in Barcelona,

the world capital of sexual debauchery.

Here it's considered quite rude

if you ask a girl for a fuck and she refuses.

After what has happened to me, I'm not up for partying, guys.

And again...

You have pissed me off, I'm going to spell it out to you.

Do you know why Bárbara and all the other girls have left you?

Curro, calm down. -I am calm, I'm telling him nicely.

Because you're a pain in the arse.

Yes, very gentle. -He acts stupid.

He falls in love, he smothers them and then they get scared.

That's not true.

How long were you with Bárbara before you started to go out?

Two days. -And with Ana?

The same day I meet her, we started to go out.

And what do you think of the girl in reception?

She's a delightful girl.

See? It feels like you're going to ask them to marry you on the first night.

That only happened once.

Am I not allowed to get involved with a girl and fall in love or what?

Óscar, what you need is to find the middle ground,

and for that, you have to have lived at both ends of love.

The loser who falls in love the first day and wants to get married,

and the shag monster: you shag her for one night and go back home.

I'm going to show you how to be that shag monster.

We're coming out tonight and you're going to do what I tell you.

I really don't feel like going out tonight, man. I dunno.

And what do you feel like, Óscar?

Being bitter for the rest of your life in hotel bedrooms?

No. -Of course not.

The Catalan girls are going to get a taste of their own medicine.

Ok. -Ok no, louder.

Ok. -Ok what?

That I'm going to pull a girl. -And what else?

That I'm going to pull a girl, I'll fuck her and that's that.

Of course, to shag.

Who's my tiger?

Have a good time.

Hey, where are you going, Casanova? -Aren't you staying?

Tequila and games, eh? Tempting, but I have a date.

Hey, you devil! Long live love!

Hurrah. -Wanker and he doesn't know it.

What did you order for dinner? -Some paprika spuds.

You're joking. The vegetarian again?

Don't you like it?

But since when, mate?

I'll go.

Son of a bitch, I know what you're up to.

Which girl do you like, the blond or the brunette?

But the brunette must be almost 60, Adri.

Well, an old hen makes good broth.

Well, yes, I've been working on her for a month now, don't spoil it for me.

Hey, I've been working on her too.

Every time I pass in front of the restaurant,

I stop and look at her like: 'Yes or no? Yes or no?'.

That's stupid,

I've been ordering food for a month

and I ring two days yes, one day no, one day no, two days yes

and then one no, one yes and three no,

and then start again so as to not ring every day and seem crazy.

Ok, if it's that important to you, I'll leave her to you.

You'll leave her to me?

Are you saying that if you wanted her then I'd have no chance?

I'm good with the girls and you are good with...

words.

So it's the Scrabble for me and the birds for you. Fuck you then.

Wow, what a cool flat you have. -Yes, right?

But if you keep calling up so often I'll think you want to see me.

Of course, home delivery girlfriends, that'd be cool if it existed.

It does, they're called prostitutes.

Here, Álvaro. Bon appetit. -Angel.

Ángel, Ángel. See you soon,

I know you, don't I?

So you two are... -Mates.

Ah, you're mates.

Each with their own room, don't get make a mistake, we're not...

Yes, flat mates. -Ah, yes, of course.

Good, cool. Nice to meet you. -I'm Adrián.

Hello. I'm Silvia.

Anyway. -Well, thanks for the food.

Ah, of course.

Anyway then...

One thing. Are you doing anything tonight?

Ah, no. Well, in a couple of hours I'll finish the deliveries

and then nothing.

Ah well, if you fancy coming and having a drink here with us?

Ah... Yes, yes, yes. Why not? Yes, of course.

When I'm done I could come and have a drink, of course.

Perfect. -Perfect.

We'll be here. -Ok, good. Bon appetit.