03.ByPass

AMBULANCE SERVICE

Hello.

You're rich, Luci.

You have a business, a limo. What else do you need?

And a lot of toxicity being your co-worker, man.

-It's free at OMV. -Have you seen how the euro has shot up?

Yeah. The Swiss franc has gone up the most.

Fuck the Swiss franc. Such bullshit.

Why aren't you going to Hungary?

They froze the exchange rate three years ago.

Come on, there's been an accident.

-What happened? -Two motorcyclists.

What about the second ambulance?

Zero-Two.

Imola from San Marino, yes or no?

Fuck IV. Say it.

For some Jidvei wine?

How are you doing this, Schumi?

Heads up, gendarmes.

Apple cakes from Vuvu.

Danke.

No obstacles in our path.

The best route.

-Stellar. Ready? -Go.

Zero-Two and Zero-Three,

it's near the crossroad between Stejaru and Chirculești, Road 105.

The police are late, so take care and good luck.

Thank you, Vuvu. Have a good shift, over.

Zero-Two, over.

Zero-Two, Fittipaldi, you just lost.

Okay, Niki Lauda.

Zero-Two, Zero-Three, you're not supposed to blabber on this channel, okay?

Ambulance Zero-Three, we've arrived at the scene.

Understood, Zero-Three.

Oh my God.

-He doesn't need a route anymore. -No, he doesn't. Protocol.

Miss, can you hear me?

The emergency service is here. If you can hear me, please don't move.

The collar, please.

Come on.

Now.

Just a little…

Lower your head.

Please don't move.

-Now. -Now.

Please don't move. Let's get to the ambulance, okay?

Okay.

Blood pressure, 80/60 mmHg.

Two lines, please. Quickly, she's going into shock.

-Ambulance Zero-Three. -Zero-Three, what did you find there?

A guy and a girl.

The girl is in critical condition. The doctor's helping her.

The guy smashed his head against the trees. Loss of gray matter.

I'll call the medical examiners.

Zero-Two, stay with the guy and wait for them.

You can leave when you are ready.

Call the police and the media. The burglars have cleaned out this place.

The victims were robbed, Vuvu.

Understood, Zero-Three.

Hello, Doru Stuntman.

Hey, Joni. Good evening, Doctor!

Do you need a hand?

Have a look, I'm fucked if I lost something, and I'll kill myself.

You're telling me.

I owe an intubation tray and a seven million lei fine.

I should quit smoking for a few months.

That's our fate Mr. Scarlat, screw those communists!

Good evening, Doctor. Will you marry me?

Ambulance driver, you should pay a tax on swearing!

I know, Doctor, but it's worth it!

Good evening, Doctor.

Do you need a hand, Doctor?

I'm going to report you. Please let me work. Have a good shift.

I'm glad to see you.

I'll be waiting for that wine tomorrow.

Hey, I will give it to you.

Tell me about IV!

He asked about the parts from Zero-Three.

Is he investigating us? Fucking alcoholic.

Tell him I stuck them up my ass. Let him come look for them.

And ask him to approve my request for a battery, windshield, and side door.

-Otherwise… -Bleep.

Bleep. That's it.

Driver, let's get moving!

Yes, Doctor.

I'll be waiting for that wine. Have a good shift.

You'll get it! Have a good shift.

Have a nice evening and a good shift, Doctor.

I know, honey. It hurts.

Don't move your hand if it hurts.

Can you squeeze my hand?

My mom should bring me a cake.

Ambulance Zero-Three. We have arrived at the emergency room.

Glasgow Coma Scale of eight.

She was disoriented en route and then she fell into a coma.

I used two IVs, one Ringer's, one serum.

I only used Algifen, so that I could evaluate her neurological status.

Nico, tell the surgeons to prepare the operating room.

-Inform Neurology and Orthopedics. -Understood.

Excuse me.

No name, no ID.

We cut down Earth's trees for nothing. She didn't socialize at all?

At 90/70 mmHg, she said her mother runs a cafeteria.

She is in coma, blood pressure 70/50 mmHg. The spleen or the liver is damaged.

Did the Polish tank hit you?

Doru, where did you find the biker?

On Road 105, between Chirculești and Stejărelu.

It corners logging road, near the poplar that was struck by lightning.

Thank you, Mr. GPS.

EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

DOCTOR

-Have a good shift. -Thanks, you too.

I heard you over the radio, talking about Swiss francs.

Keep the change. It's been a long night. We'll settle this tomorrow.

Let's go to my place. Peter has a fever, I'll give him an injection.

What do you want, man?

Really? You're kidding. Maybe you'd like to go for a ride in the ambulance?

Where are you coming from?

He's making fun of us.

You don't speak Romanian, do you? I can tell you pizda mătii.

-Pida mătii? -Yes.

-Pida mătii. -See, you know.

Brazil is over there, not here.

-Brazil is over there. -Brazil?

-Yes, you went the wrong way. -Brazil!

He's a junkie. Should we use the tear gas or give him an electric shock?

Nothing. Cool.

Good evening.

What's going on here? Who is this gentleman?

-This gentleman is begging for aspirin. -He's going to Brazil, for the Olympics.

Give me half a pack of aspirin.

Bon voyage.

Stalingrad.

We read historical stuff too.

Come into my office.

I have some advice for you. If you take it into account, you'll do this job.

Otherwise, you won't.

It will be a fun time with the doctor.

I don't care.

Neither do I.

Forty thousand euros? How did you come up with that number?

You aren't up to date, honey.

What are you doing, Titi? You don't criticize yourself, do you?

Want anything from the convenience store?

Three in one, thanks.

No negotiations, honey.

We'll reappraise the house

and the court will tell me how much I will pay. Me, not you.

I'm not listening to you anymore.

I'll call you as soon as I speak with the lawyer.

Okay.

I have an emergency to attend to. I need to go. Bye.

ASSISTANT

Pop was in a good mood today.

He knows I'm getting divorced.

I told Doru.

It's already on the Internet.

Yeah, and Nico was kind of stumbling over you today.

It happened.

I sent you a message yesterday. Why didn't you reply?

The six key is broken.

EMERGENCY ROOM DOCTORS

There is an international summoning.

A stone bridge was destroyed

And washed away by flowing water

We will build another one downstream

It will be even stronger And more beautiful

A stone bridge was destroyed

And washed away by flowing water

We will build another one downstream

It will be even stronger And more beautiful

One more time!

Hey, do you only know Communist oldies?

Don't you know any Toulouse Lautrec?

-He doesn't like our song. -He has no idea.

They see just the democracy. The past is shit.

This country is vanishing off the map because of you.

So, you are old people full of values and depths. But what's the point?

That's why you put up with those idiots all those years.

You see? He said we are old.

Hey, dickhead, we created that revolution.

They took a swing at you with three tear gasses. You threw stones at your heads.

What were you doing during the Revolution?

I had stuff to do.

Pampers-related stuff.

Donkey's revolution…

What are you doing here? Did they abandon you?

Come on, boy.

Come on, like that.

Stay on the side, just like that.

Just like that, boy.

There's no mobile coverage beyond this point.

¡Hola, compañeros! What are you doing, jerking off?

In your ass. At your friend Mătăsărean's.

English tea, man. Not tea.

Fuck that, IV. I'm losing signal. The battery's running low.

Remember, I changed my mind.

I don't want Jidvei anymore. Get me some Recaș instead. Bye.

-First aid kit? -Here. Take it.

I'll check the engine. I don't like the sound it's making.