The Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders

Welcome, your Lordship.

Welcome, your Worship.

God save the Queen.

Mary Twigg.

Both parents died of the fever.

Do you know your catechism, child?

Yes, my Lord Bishop.

Good, good.

Ah ha.

And what do you want to be when you grow up?

A dairymaid, sir.

Elizabeth Williams.

The, uh, mother drowned herself, father unknown.

Who were the sons of Noah, child?

Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Good girl.

- Good girl. - Moll Flanders.

Found abandoned by the gypsies.

Recite for me, child, a passage from the scriptures.

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

"Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the fields..."

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And, what do you want to be when you grow up?

A gentlewoman, sir.

A gentle?

A gentlewoman, indeed.

And who's to say she won't be

with those eyes?

There, there.

And later on, bring me those flowers I chose.

Right, sir.

I want thyme, fennel, sage, and blackcurrant.

They do shoot up, sir, don't they?

Damn it, they do.

It seems but yesterday I brought her to the house,

an orphan, an innocent child.

They don't stay that way long, sir.

No, they don't.

Back to the blackcurrants, Wilson!

The blackcurrants.

My years in this house were exceedingly happy.

Although only a servant,

I was treated as one of the family,

and, like its other members,

I've been encouraged to follow my studies,

and keep myself spotlessly tidy, too.

In other words, my education was in no way neglected.

Oh, sir, what a fright you gave me.

Oh, sir.

Oh, no, sir.

Oh, sir, what will your father say?

Your mother, sir.

Your...

Oh.

Oh, Moll, I think I shall die if you...

- If what, sir? - You don't...

- Don't what, sir? - If I don't...

Oh, don't what, sir?

As you can see, I was treated as one of the family,

and I enjoyed all the advantages

of a wide education, music,

music.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Moll, you take my sister's part.

She's vilely out of voice.

I'm not out of voice!

'Tis you out of tune!

Moll's voice out of tune is sweeter than yours in.

Aye, and her breath, too.

Oh!

Ah,

Samuel!

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, Master Robin, you're coming in late,

and, Miss Laura, your time is too quick.

In addition to music,

we had lessons in deportment, manners...

Manners.

And I soon picked up the ways of ladies and of gentlemen.

Shoo!

The, uh, the speckled hen won't lay in the boxes.

I came to see where she has made her nest.

Oh, Moll.

Moll?

You know I'd marry you.

Marry me, sir?

Tell me a man who wouldn't.

If the way of the world wasn't first to seek for a fortune...

'Tis not a fortune I lack, sir.

I've not two guineas to rub together.

Oh, Moll.

I'll, I'll give you more gold than you've ever seen.

For what, sir?

I have my wages.

I'll marry you, Moll.

Truly, I will.

In a church.

- A church? - Before the parson.

- Parson? - In a lovely white dress.

- White dress? - And prayers.

Oh.

Oh.

Ah,

And a ring, and a marriage bed, Moll.

Marriage bed?

What, what have you been doing with M-M-Moll, eh?

For a boy brought up in the country,

you're strangely ignorant.

Why, you!

- Moll, come here. - Aah!

What's got into those pigs?

Your sons, Sir.

Fighting over some wench, I'll wager.

Do I know her?

- Hmm? - Oh!

In the barn, eh?

I was looking for eggs, sir.

Find any?

No, sir.

Shall you and I go and have another look?

Samuel!

Samuel, what are you after?

A bird, my dear!

After a bird.

Aah!

Silly old cow.

Oh, my poor dear.

Here.

You see, Moll, I haven't forgotten.

Oh, sir.

I spent whole hours looking at the gold he had given me.

I counted these coins a hundred times a day.

Ruin was at my door.

But I think I now rather wished for that ruin,

than studied how to avoid it.

Goodbye, brother.

Goodbye, dear.

Sir?

How long will you be gone?

A week.

Or a month, if the pleasures of town are diverting.

- Oh. - Ohh.

There now, Moll.

- What do you see? - Something in the water.

A corpse?

I've known good pickings off drowned men.

A lass, by her long hair.

Unless it's some fool gentleman bathing in his wig.

Is that a sheep or a pile of clothes?

Let's hope it's a man

and he's brought his watch and purse.

Come on.

Help yourself, Squint.

No, not a farthing.

There's a bit of lace here, though.

I see you!

Villains!

Ohh, I see you!

Wretches!

Help!

- She's got spunk, Squint! - Help!

She's coming to her respice!

- Just you wait! - Hurry, girl, hurry!

- I have... - Come on, come on!

Ooh, you!

Help!

Help!

Villains!

Miss Flanders.

I wanted for a long time to get you on your own.

I'd like very much to...

Ooh!

Like very much to talk to you, if I may, please.

Miss Flanders, I've,

I've never called you Moll

as the others have done,

because, in brief, I've, well, I've never treated you

as a servant in this household,

because, in short, you've,

you've always seemed to me to be more of a, an equal,

and, in many cases, a,

a sup, a superior.

I, I, I have moved, as you know,

I have moved, as you know, in our own local society,

in our local society, and I've never found

a young woman to compare with you for your,

for your looks, your good humour, or your wit.

In brief, Miss Flanders,

I'd like very much marry you.

Marry?

Me?

Marry Moll?

- No! - Ohh!

Oh!

And what, pray, is wrong with Moll?

She's as genteel as any of our acquaintances!

Genteel?

She was dragged up by gypsies.

And what's more, she's a bastard!

Yes, and she's a jumped-up servant girl!