Friends

Okay, great. Bye.

So guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner.

Sidney Poitier? Ha, ha.

I miss Rachel.

No, my parents.

Oh, great, they haven't seen the place since I moved in.

Yeah, and if you could not mention that we live together, that'd be great.

I was thinking we'd eat around 4.

Why can't I tell them we live together?

They don't know we're dating. Should we eat in the kitchen?

Why haven't you told them?

Um, well, I was going to. I really was.

But, um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didn't.

Why haven't you told them? Wouldn't they be happy?

So, dinner in the kitchen around 4. I'll see you then.

Why wouldn't they be happy?

Well, um, because...

...mainly, um...

...they don't like you.

- I'm sorry. - What? Why? Why?

Maybe because you used to be aloof...

...or that you're really sarcastic or that you joke around all the time...

...or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.

Is this why they don't like me or why you don't like me?

I know I should have told them. I know I shouldn't care what they think.

I'm sorry.

You know, it'll be okay, because when they come over, I will be charming.

I will make them love me, then we'll tell them.

You think that'll work?

Hey, I can be pretty charming, babe. I won you over, didn't I?

I don't think you'll ever get my parents that drunk.

Hey. Oh, good, Ross. Your parents like me, right?

Yes, of course they like you.

Monica told me they don't.

Yeah, they don't like you.

Do you know why?

Maybe it's because you're really sarcastic, or maybe it's because you...

If people don't know, they shouldn't just guess.

Great. Another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.

Maybe I give thanks for you shutting up, huh?

Maybe I give thanks by taking my PlayStation to my new apartment.

Maybe I love you.

- Hi. Hi.

Hey, guys.

No, I don't want to play video games, Joey.

Are you guys going to Chandler's for Thanksgiving?

Yeah, why, what's up?

Well, me and my dancer friends are doing Thanksgiving uptown.

I thought you might like to come.

For real?

You should go to Chandler's. None of us can cook.

We'll probably just drink all day.

- We go to yours. - Yeah.

Yeah, see, we have to stop across the hall because it's my sister.

But, you know, actually, uh, growing up with a sister was nice...

...because it really helped me understand women.

Yeah, you should tell your friends that.

Okay.

How you got three women to marry you, I'll never know.

- Hey. Hey.

Pheebs, check it out. For my dessert...

...I have chosen to make a traditional English trifle.

Wow, that sounds great. And what are you making, Monica?

In case Rachel's dessert is so good that I eat all of it...

...and there's none left for anybody else.

Nothing.

Nothing?

No, sweetie. I trust you.

So if I mess this up, there's nothing else for dessert?

You're not gonna mess it up.

Wow, Monica, I love that. You really have faith in me. Thank you.

Technical question: How do you know when the butter is done?

Well, it's done about two minutes before it looks like that.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Oh. The food smells great, Mon. - And the place looks so nice.

- Hey, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. - Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

- Well, this has been great. - See you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Where you going? - Oh, oh.

We did say we'd stop by this little thing Joey's roommate is having.

Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?

Some would say she's attractive, yes.

Who else is going to be there?

- Uh, some of her friends. - Her dancer friends?

Yes. All right?

All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there...

...and they'll be drinking and dancing and we really want to go.

Dude, we were good.

You're not going. You said you'd eat here and you'll eat here.

Yeah, and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls...

...is not very Thanksgiving-y.

Oh, but it is.

Uh, it's like the first Thanksgiving when the Indians and Pilgrims sat down.

Yeah, and then the Indians taught the Pilgrims...

...what it meant to be hot in the New World.

- Hello, everybody. Hi.

Hi, Dad. Mom.

Look. Look who it is. It's Chandler.

Oh, yes, of course. Hello, Chandler.

Mr. And Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful.

It is great to have you here. Let us take your coats.

Whoa, it snowing out there?

No.

Monica, all this food looks wonderful.

You should think about doing this for a living.

Okay, I have dandruff. There's no need to laugh and point.

Dad, Chandler was laughing at your joke.

My joke wasn't funny.

Rach, I just remembered.

I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.

Really?

Yeah. I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building...

...and he was so brave and so strong.

And it's making me look at him totally differently.

You know, I mean, he used to be just "Jack Geller, Monica and Ross' dad."

Now he's "Jack Geller, dream hunk."

I don't know. To me, he'll always be "Jack Geller...

...walks in while you're changing."

You know, Dad, Chandler is one of Ross' very best friends.

Ross sure is a great guy.

You know, I've always felt that how a young man turns out...

...is a reflection on his father.

I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?

He's a headliner of a...

...gay burlesque show.

Rach, you're killing us. Will you serve the dessert already?

There's drunken dancers a-waiting.

Look at it. Isn't it beautiful?

Yeah. What is it?

It's a trifle. It's got all these layers.

First there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam...

...then custard, which I made from scratch...

...then raspberries, more ladyfingers...

...then beef sautéed with peas and onions...

...then a little bit more custard...

...then bananas and then I put whipped cream on top.

What was the one right before bananas?

The beef. Yeah, that was weird to me too.

But then I thought, "Well, there's minced meat pie."

That's an English dessert.

These people just put very strange things in their food.

By the way, can I borrow rum from your place?

Yeah, sure.

And while I'm gone, don't you boys sneak a taste.

- Okay. - Okay.

Beef in a dessert?

No, no, no. There is no way.

I know. And only one layer ofjam?

What is up with that?

Oh, my God.

- The pages are stuck together. - Chandler.

Oh, my God. She made half an English trifle and...

...half a shepherd's pie.

Man, now she's gonna start all over.

We're never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the New World.

No, no, we will. We just won't tell her she messed up.

Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?

Yeah. It'll be like a funny Thanksgiving story.

Vomiting stories are funny, I guess.

Joey. God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees.

Did it make you want to walk around in your underwear?

No.

Still not hot enough.

Rachel. Okay, look at him.

Look at those strong hands.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be that can of condensed milk.

Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.

Oh, thank you, Chandler. I just bought it.

Oh. Yes, well, it's very beautiful and it's cream-colored and tight and...

I don't mean tight. It's not too tight. Not that I was looking at...

What's the matter with him?

I think he's stoned again.

- What? - What?

Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.

Okay, I think I might know why my parents don't like you.

- You do? Why? - Okay, remember we were young. Heh.

Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom...

...and my parents walked in and smelled it...

...so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.

What? Why did you do that?

I don't know. Uh, yours was the first name that popped into my head.

I'm sorry. I didn't think it'd matter.

How could it not matter?

How was I to know we'd be friends after college...

...let alone you'd be living with my sister?