Friends

'Cause every time I see your face

I can't help but fall from grace

Wow. This girl's good.

Oh, yeah, a song with rhyming words. Ooh, I never thought of that before.

I like her.

Why? Because she can sing and play guitar...

...and do both at the same time?

Well, that's pretty much all I'm looking for from these people.

Look at you, all jealous.

Yeah, Pheebs, come on. You two have completely different styles.

You know, she's more... you know? And you're more:

Say you'll stay beside me

Okay. See? See? Everybody else is happy she's done.

Okay, my next song's called:

"Phoebe Buffay, What Can I Say? I Really Loved When We Were...

...Singing Partners and I Shouldn't Have Left You That Way."

Oh, no. One of those look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.

Hey, Phoebe.

Hey, Leslie.

How'd you know I'd be here?

I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish...

...and he said you played here a lot, so...

All right. I have to go to the bathroom.

But if the place with the big fish comes up again...

...I'd like to know whether that's several big fish or just one big fish.

So Phoebe tells us you write jingles.

Actually, I said she abandoned me to write jingles.

Uh, anything we might've heard of?

Uh, yeah, um...

Home is never far away

Home is Homestar Stew

Yeah, but I don't do that anymore. I got kind of sick of it.

And then I couldn't come up with anything good, so they fired me.

Hmm, bummer.

Well, you know, I was just...

Um, I was just thinking and just hoping that...

...maybe you'd want to get back together?

No, but thanks.

Oh, come on, Phoebe. Would you just think about it?

Okay.

No, but thanks.

Okay, uh...

See you, Pheebs.

Wow. That was kind of brutal.

Well, okay. Let this be a lesson to all of you.

All right? Once you betray me, I become like the Ice Woman.

You know, I'm just very cold, hard, unyielding.

You know, nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior.

Can I have a tissue, please?

Oh, yes.

Is someone in there?

No. This is just part of a daredevil game...

...that I play called "Wait Until the Last Moment Before I Burst and Die."

Jeez, man. Did you fall...? Hi.

So, uh, did you? Did you fall high?

Someone was in the ladies' room. I couldn't wait.

- I left the lid up for you, though. - Ha, ha.

You know what, uh, Gunther? Go, uh... Go ahead.

I'm talking to, uh...

This is the part where you say your name.

- Ginger. - Ginger. I'm talking to Ginger, so...

- Don't you have to use the bathroom? - No.

No, I just, uh... I'd rather, uh, talk to you.

Yes, I do.

Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom.

Someone in here.

- Where's Chandler? - He can't make it.

He said he had to go back to his, uh, job to do, uh...

Uh-oh.

Joey?

Joey Tribbiani?

Joey, I can see you, okay?

You're hiding behind the coats.

Close one. Heh.

- Hi. - Hi, sweetie.

Hello.

Hey, Ross.

Uh-huh.

- I've got some bad news. - What?

I can get a quick bite, but I have to come back here.

Come on, sweetie. You've worked late every night for the past two weeks.

- What is it this time? - It's kind of my fault. I quit today.

But work comes first.

Oh, hey. But that's sad about you, though. What happened?

What happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did you?

No, he's leaving for a better job.

Oh, well, that's great. So I guess this is, uh, goodbye then.

Goodbye. Ha, ha.

- Okay, then. - Okay.

Well, we're gonna miss you around here.

Yeah, me too.

- So see you on Saturday. - Yeah, you bet.

[PAGER BEEPING THEN MONICA SHOUTS]

Ugh.

Now, you know those are a delicacy in India.

Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together.

It's like the 20th time today. Yeah, good luck, Leslie.

Wow. She must've hurt you pretty bad, huh?

Well, yeah. You know, we were best friends...

...ever since we were little. Our moms worked on the barge together.

You two must've been so cute running around on a barge.

You never run on a barge.

- Hey. Hey.

Is, uh...? Is Chandler around?

No, um, he met some girl at the coffeehouse.

Ooh. - Yeah. Ginger something.

No.

No, no. Uh, are you sure it wasn't something that sounded liked Ginger?

Like, uh, "Gingeer"?

No, it was Ginger.

I remember because when he told me, I said:

The movie star

Oh, man.

That's the girl I was hiding from.

When she finds out he's my roommate, she'll tell him what I did.

- What did you do? - Oh. Oh, no, no. I can't...

I can't tell you that. It's like the most awful, horrible thing...

...I've ever done in my whole life. - You know what? Don't tell us.

We'll wait till Chandler gets home because it'll be more fun.

All right.

Okay, it was, like, four years ago.

Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times. Then one weekend...

...we went to her dad's cabin...

...just me, her and her annoying little dog, Pepper. Heh.

Well, that night I cooked this really romantic dinner...

You gave her food poisoning.

I wish. No.

After dinner, me, her and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire.

Well, I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out...

...so I picked up a log and threw it on.

Or at least what I thought was a log.

Oh, my God. You threw Pepper on the fire.

I wish.

See, I guess another thing I probably should've told you about Ginger...

...is that she kind of has a, uh...

...artificial leg.

Oh, my God.

Joey. What did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?

I ran.

Well, that's the best kiss I've had...

...with anybody I met in a men's room.

Actually, me too.

Oh. Foot in a puddle. Foot all in the puddle.

Oh, damn. I hate that.

We're gonna have to get you out of those shoes.

Oh, don't worry about it.

- No, really. You're gonna freeze. - No, I'm not.

Huh. You're not? What do you got, a bionic foot?

Someday. Maybe.

Funny book?

Hmm? Oh, no, no. I'm just thinking about something funny I heard today.

Um, Mark saying, "I'll see you Saturday."

Yeah, at the lecture.

I told you that last week. You said you didn't mind.

Oh, no, no, no. It's not the lecture, uh, I mind. Um...

Oh, please tell me it's not because I'm going with Mark.

- Well... - Oh, my God. Ross.

Well, I'm sorry, but... Look, if you're not working with him anymore...

...why do you still have to do stuff with him?

Because he's my friend.

Okay. But do you really need another friend? I mean...

Okay. Well, if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?

Is that funny? Am I suppose to be laughing?

I don't know. You thought "See you Saturday" was funny.

Look, honey, Mark is in fashion, okay?

I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with.

You guys would never go to a lecture with me.

I would love to go with you.

- Really? - Yeah.

Hey, I have clothes. I even pick them out.

I mean, for all you know, I could be a fashion...

...monger.

Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me.

What?

What should I wear? Now I'm all nervous.

You know, they say, "A watched pot never beeps."

It's, you know, ahem... It's been a couple hours...

...and she hasn't called.

Not that I even care. I don't.

Phoebe, why don't you just call her?

You obviously want to.

You think you know me so well.

- Well, don't you wanna? - Yeah.

- Okay, so I do know you. - That's what I said.