Doctor Who

And here he is. Your favourite host,

stepping out of cryogenic suspension…

Defrost complete.

All right, babe, what's the year?

2925.

-Venue? -Harmony Arena.

Teeth?

-Dazzling. -And we're on.

May I introduce, the immortal Rylan.

Whoo! Rylan!

Ah. Oh, good evening, Harmony Arena!

What a fabulous night.

Huh.

- And welcome to 2925… -Right.

All we need is two minutes.

Get this Vindicator aligned, then we can get you back to Earth.

- Now we've whittled it down… -Is that…

- …from 50,000 contestants… -Rylan?

…to 40 finalists from 40 different worlds, all singing live for you tonight.

And reaching out in song across the universe.

Welcome to the 803rd Interstellar Song Contest.

Whoo!

-Oh, we're so staying. -We're staying.

Right, everyone, here we go. Bit of focus, please.

Tighter on Rylan.

Music fade out. Steady on 26. SOP VT 1.

Fifteen, give me audience reaction. Find some faces.

Wynn, are we ready on pre-record five?

All cued up and standing by.

Graphics, get ready with the voting links.

Rylan, give me some awe.

- Aw. -No. Awe. A-W-E.

Oh.

Folks, it is awesome.

The Interstellar Song Contest is transmitted live

across the entire western galactic arm.

An audience of three trillion life forms to find one winner.

Cue confetti cannon.

-Now let me hear some noise! -

Cultivated from 100% organic golden poppy.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

PoppyHoney is every bit as sweet, rich and decadent as the real thing.

It's so good you won't believe it.

Proud sponsors,

PoppyHoney, the galaxy's favourite.

See, we were worried about nothing.

This proves that the earth survives.

Oh, in style.

I was there in '74 when ABBA won.

Olivia Newton-John came fourth.

-Absolute scenes. Absolute scenes. -What?

I watched with my mum and dad when I was little.

It was the best night of the year.

They'd let me stay up late for voting,

as long as I brushed my teeth and got into my pyjamas.

- -Oh.

Look at me now.

God, it's such a beautiful night.

Where are we? Where's this taking place?

That is not night. That is space. The Harmony Arena is a space station.

Do you see?

There.

We're inside a bubble on a station in orbit.

The universe is wild, babes.

So, what, the song contest let in Australia and then space?

I knew it. I knew that you would enjoy it finally, being with me.

- -

Okay, gotcha.

- -

Vindicator ready and primed.

Thank you, Doctor. That's the final link.

No rush. I love a good show.

Grape?

-I wonder whose seats we're in. -Eh. It's too late now. They've missed it.

- -Whoo!

They're sitting in our seats. Look.

Those two people are sitting in seats that absolutely, positively

definitely belong to us.

None of this would've happened if you'd just turned up on time.

-I said I'm sorry. -It's more than that, Mike.

You don't take anything I do seriously.

It's hardly important, Gary. It's just songs.

I'm not even gonna dignify that with a resp…

Actually, you know what, I will. Because it is not just songs, Mike.

It's part of who I am. And when you make fun of it,

it's like you're making fun of me.

I don't know, Gary. It's like we're going around in circles.

Sometimes I think that we should--

Hurry up! We're gonna miss the beginning.

How many times… Why won't you do something?

This is my ticket card. Mine.

Now, would you do your job and get those people out, please?

Phase one activated.

How does that help?

What am I supposed to do now?

What does he mean "phase one"?

Phase one activated.

Okay, drones, keep it quiet. Thank you. What's phase one?

- -

What was that?

I'm phase one.

Hi.

Who the hell are you?

Who the Hellion.

That's my species and my name is Kid.

We're in the middle of transmission. Drones, get him out.

I have drone control. At arms.

-Everyone, stay calm. -Nobody move. This gallery is mine.

Okay. Uh…

Let's… Let's… Should we say hello to some contestants?

- Oui . -Let's do that.

Uh, who have we got… Oh, hello. I see hot favourite.

-It's Cora from Trion. -

Hello, everyone!

I'm so excited.

Honestly, it's such an honour to be here.

I mean, what a night. I can't wait to sing.

Lock West 7 Bulkhead 5 and keep them guarded.

Although it's a shame they're gonna miss the show.

-Miss me? -You have no idea.

It's time, gorgeous.

Phase two.

Wynn, whatever you're doing, stop.

I took a chance on you. No one employs Hellions, but I did.

How benevolent of you, baby. Hit the back-up.

Thank you, Sabine.

But that's the dress rehearsal.

Broadcasting across the galaxy.

-And no one's gonna know the difference. -Well, that's where you're wrong.

Rylan wasn't at the dress, he was still in deep freeze.

We're ready for that.

Publicity comms can say he got food poisoning.

Tell them he ate something nasty.

Later on, you can vote using your home neural hypersync headset.

Or, of course, on the app.

And on behalf of the Interstellar Song Contest,

it's bonne nuit, all around the galaxy.

From Alpha Centauri to the Zygon New Habitat,

songs and music and joy…

…can unite us all!

Let go of me.

- Access granted . - Gallery.

- -Shh.

Gallery, what's happening? Have you got control of the Arena?

That's correct. We're just rerouting. It's nothing to worry about, Eddo.

We've got about 30 seconds till they realise anything is wrong.

It's all I need.

And cue VT.

Anyone?

Uh, fine. Uh… Uh, let's start the show, shall we?

Yeah.

It's Liz Lizardine, from the planet Lizoko.

With her song, "I Love You, But My Heart Says No."

Safety protocols off.

But you can't do that.

Nina? Anyone? Are you there? What is this, amateur hour?

Rylan, my name is Kid.

-I'm a big fan. - Who's Kid?

This is the greatest song contest in the universe,

so as you would say, let's raise the roof!

How are you gonna vote if you don't listen to the song properly?

Yeah, Bel, I think that there might be a…

- -

Is that… part of the show?

- -

Danger, air shield collapsing.

Danger, air shield collapsing.

Do you know my favourite kind of music?

Pop.

-Whoa! Whoa! -