My Mom is a Character: The Film

"Minha mae e uma peca" (2013) "My Mom Is a Character"

Brazil's biggest national box office of 2013

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This is the story of a family like any other.

It could be set in Tokyo, for example.

In New York.

Paris!

Or maybe...

in Rio de Janeiro!

But no.

It's almost in Rio.

This story is actually set in Niteroi.

Yes, Niteroi.

Also known as Nikiti City or Smile City.

And it's there, in the midst of 5 hundred thousand people,

that our heroes live...

A family like any other.

Mrs. Herminia, the mother, is a caring lady

that worries solely with her children's education.

Marcelina, I already told you to get in

that fucking shower!

I'll go when I feel like it.

When you feel like it, you filthy girl?

Lunatic!

Marcelina, the daughter, the family's little princess.

A teenager like any other.

She has a bright future ahead of her.

This is Juliano, the man of the house.

The eldest, Garib, married young and gave up on the perks

of living with his mother.

And this is the father, Carlos Alberto, who surrendered

to the charms of a young mermaid and also left the house.

He never left, in order to leave you need to come in first.

And Carlos Alberto was never really here.

I find it very funny: After separated,

he applies for "world's greatest dad"!

Geez!

Juliano!

Yeah!

In a sec...

Juliano! Get those sneakers out of the living room,

it's been growing cobwebs for a week!

Nobody stands that reek!

Early morning, and already bossing around.

- Mom is a pain! - And you're awesome, right?

If I don't say anything, no one volunteers.

Breakfast is set, come on.

Hurry up with the breakfast, people.

- Mom... - Your father's coming.

Mom, you bought less ham.

Just be thankful that I did, that's coming off the list.

Have you no shame, girl? You're fat as hell

and you still want more ham!

- Mom! You tossed Atila! - Oh, my God! Get him out!

Guys, where's dad? He's late...

Your father was never on time for anything.

Even to get married I got there first.

Geez! Speaking of marriage,

there wasn't any cold water to drink,

you two drank and didn't refill.

Mom's losing it, what does marriage have to do with water?

It doesn't matter, Marcelina.

You shouldn't be worried about me,

you should be worried about your panties. Filthy.

It's been hanging on that shower for a week.

Wet, dry, wet, dry... I don't know how

you haven't got an itch on that pussy of yours!

Mom, Garib! Hey, how's it going? Show your face more!

- Hi Garib, how are you, my son? - Hi, mom!

Finally remembered you have a mother, huh?

What, no phones in Brasilia?

Or is it that ridiculous woman of yours?

Mom, you know very well that since I came here

to start my vet clinic, life's been crazy.

I'm glad you managed to build that pet thing...

Now you can take care of your wife.

What is she saying?

- She sent you a kiss! - How sweet, send her another.

Mom, Andreia is here. She is sending you a kiss.

Ok, fine then.

Your siblings are fine.

Everything is fine... Drop that cookie!

Your father is coming.

He's picking them up to go for a ride.

Good, send him a kiss from me.

Oh, I will. The first thing I'll do

when he sets foot here, Garib, is send him a kiss.

Definitely!

Your father sets foot in here, I'll say:

"Garib sent you a kiss", ok?

Come visit us more often, ok?

Take care.

Why didn't you tell her?

How, Andreia? Does she let me speak anything?

How I loathe that girl.

She thinks she owns him, and she's ugly.

Mom! Poor Andreia. She's so nice!

She's nice 'cause there's no other choice.

When you're ugly you need to spiritualize,

because the matter is rotten.

There's your father, let's go!

This family is really zen...

Can you lower the horn volume, Carlos Alberto?

No need to get neurotic on the horn.

- The neighbors appreciate it. - Where are they?

Juliano's late because he couldn't get up.

- As always... - Got it from you, right?

And Marcelina is in a bad mood, nobody can talk to her.

If you do a scan, chances are she's brain dead.

- She's your daughter... - Right, my daughter.

Yes. Your daughter.

I made her with my finger, huh, Carlos Alberto?

Hurry up, kids, before I throw a vase down there!

Juliano, darling, did you get your asthma inhaler?

Did you, Juliano?

Hurray!

- Hi, dad! - Hi!

Close the door, close it...

Marcelina, don't go crazy on the ice cream,

your dad is a moron and can't set limits.

And give Soraya a kiss, that stepmother of yours!

That bitch!

MY MOM IS A CHARACTER =- THE MOVIE -=

Dad, where are we going?

To get Soraya at the beauty parlor, and then... country club!

The whale can't even hear of water, she gets excited!

Mock me, Juliano, I'll tell dad which animal you are.

Hi Marcelina, sweetie. Hi Juliano, darling.

- Hi Soraya! - What's up? Everything cool?

Excited to go to the club?

Very!

I'm super excited!

Honey, is my hair ok?

He forgot the asthma inhaler...

He doesn't forget his head because it's stuck to his body.

- Guys, mom's calling... - Already?!

- Hi, mom! - Get back home,

you forgot your inhaler!

Mom, I'm breathing just fine. I don't need the medicine, ok?

What if you have a crisis and die, what then?

Relax, mom, I'm not gonna have any crisis.

Even so, dad's got a spare one in the car.

Ok, kisses!

Mom is a pain! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

I don't know how we even stand her!

She does that sometimes...

- Sometimes? Always! - Always...

God forbid! She's exaggerated, a drama queen.

That's why dad didn't take it. Got divorced.

- Nobody does. - And you'll be just like her.

Have you lost it, Juliano?

I'll never be like her.

If I need to be like someone, I'd rather be Soraya.

All dresed up, big hair, riding around in a sports car

with a hunk like dad on the side...

Much better than being at home

doing the dishes and being a pain in the ass!

Thanks, Ma!

Besides, if it were up to me, I'd live with you guys.

Over my dead body...

Are you gonna say you don't prefer living with them?

You don't, right, honey?

- I do... - Much better!

- Need some help? - No!

I want to see you smile, I want to see you sing,

I want to see your body dance all night long

I want to see you smile, I want to see you sing,

I want to see your body...

She is beautiful, her hair...

Hi, aunt Zelia.

I came to spend a few days with you, auntie.

I can't stand those kids anymore.

I can't stand being disobeyed, unappreciated

to be treated as less than a dog by Marcelina and Juliano!

I can't stand it anymore!

I've lived a whole life just for them! It's over!

From now on, I'll only think about me. They'll see!

It's all about me now! It's over!

But, honey, you're too worked up!

What do you want me to do?

Coffee!

You listen to me, Carlos Alberto.

This whole club thing... it's in and out, ok?

I'm not spending my whole day here

being the good stepmother to those two pests!

One hour, tops! Done, no more, enough!

"A pain, annoying, exaggerated, drama queen".

That's what she said, auntie. That's how she treats me.

If regret could kill, I'd be dead already.

But it's normal...

All teens say horrible things about their mothers.

- It comes with the job! - And Juliano agreed!

They say that boys like him are more affectionate,

companions, don't go out much, very homey. But he's not!

He'd rather live with Carlos Alberto and that bitch Soraya!

Marcelina...

Honey pie, look at me.

- I'm thin, right? - And?

And you're fat, right, darling?

You jumped into that pool like a SeaWorld whale.