Broke Sky

Domesticated fowl.

It's a fuckin' chicken.

- Bucky: You remember that old joke about the chicken crossing

the road?

Well, there's at least one

version where it doesn't end too good for the chicken.

I don't know about you, but I

don't see anything funny about dead animals.

When I was a boy, I always wondered if dead animals went

to heaven, but my foster mother

told me animals don't got souls.

Well, I tend to disagree.

The saddest part of the job are the pets ...

It just tears my heart out to see 'em that way.

If things were up to me, I'd give every one of these little

guys a proper burial to help 'em move on to a better place.

The county don't see it that way.

Paper or plastic?

Well, Bucky, it sounds like you got a problem.

I didn't say that.

Well, what did you say?

- Well, it was like I told you, you know, Becky does want a

family and all, but I want the same thing.

I'm not sure I'm ready to be a father yet, that's all.

And heck, I grew up without a daddy.

- Well, have you told Becky how you feel?

Bucky, have you?

No!

- Damn it, Bucky, the last thing you need is some little

brat running around your house.

You're still a damn kid yourself.

You should've never gotten married in the first damn place.

But I love her.

- But that ain't no reason to get married.

That's six pounds, two ounces.

Now, if she wants to get pregnant, how the hell do you

plan on stoppin' her?

I've done the research and

uh...

...Kind of developed a technique.

Excuse me?

- Technique-- it's kind of like a system that I worked out.

O.K.

- They say that sperm cells can't live long under adverse

conditions.

Go on.

- I just created my own adverse conditions.

- What the hell are you talkin' about?

- As little as a 10-degree rise in body temperature will kill

off most of your sperm cells.

So what are you doing, Bucky,

microwaving your nuts every night?

Hand warmers.

- Put two of 'em in my underwear every day.

That's gotta lower my sperm count.

- Damn, Bucky, I think you done lowered your brain cell count.

It seems to be working.

How can you tell?

- Well, she ain't pregnant yet, we uh...

Pretty much do it all the time.

How much?

How much, Bucky?

Oh, well, yeah.

Six pounds, two ounces.

Yes!

Man on radio: Come in cr-one.

Come in CR-1.

- Earl: Here, Bucky, I'll get that.

Go for Earl.

Hey, Earl.

Paul wants you boys to meet him over on highway six near the

county line.

Now?

- Damn straight, and don't be late.

10-4.

Shit.

Hey, Paul, is the county paying us to leave critters in the road

now?

Gentlemen, here's the situation.

Now, uh, America has more than four million miles of roads and

highways and they're all littered with road kill.

Modern day wildlife management, critter control by family

vehicle.

And for every dead carcass you find beside the road, you know

that there's 10 more you can't see off in the bushes somewhere

and it's getting out of hand.

I don't get it, Paul.

What's this all about?

- Well, what it's about, Bucky, is the world is changing and we

got to change with it.

Now what you boys are about to witness is a mechanical marvel

of carcass removal technology.

Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the new CRT-3000.

It's powered by a 10-cylinder turbo diesel, stacked with a

two-cycle afterburner and

muffled exhaust that generates an environmental friendly

S.P.L. of less than 25...

[voice fades, becoming

indistinct on radio]

Woman: Bucky!

- Now wait just a goddamn minute!

There ain't but one son of a bitch in that thing.

- Paul: Well, I know, that's the beauty of the thing...

Or not.

That's what I wanted to talk to you boys about.

See, uh, if the committee goes with this plan we got no choice.

We cannot justify two salaries.

We just can't do it.

That's a crock of shit, Paul.

[electronic beeping and gears whirring]

- Did I mention the internal incinerator?

Well, anyway, boys, that's the

way it's got to be and it's really out of my hands.

I'm sorry.

Hey!

First it was those goddamn biodegradable bags and it's shit

if we don't go computerized, and we put up with all that crap so

you can just go ahead and can our asses?

- Not "asses" as in plural, Earl.

"Ass" as in one.

Well, that's bullshit, Paul.

- O.K., look, now if you want me to say who's staying and

who's going, I'll do it.

I thought maybe you'd want to

figure it out amongst yourselves.

Woman: The job is yours.

Don't even give it a second thought.

- I can't just take the job from Earl.

He's the one who got me the job in the first place.

I owe him.

Your owe your family more.

Or do I need to remind you, we're in the family

manufacturing business.

We're gonna need some elbow room once the little one shows up.

I mean, if you're out of a job, we ain't never gonna get that

double-wide you promised me.

Not to mention a new dress for the talent competition.

It's gonna be so fantastic, me up there just a-singin'...

You know, I was thinking of getting a blue dress, you know,

kind of low-cut and sexy.

I mean, just a little bit...

...Sex does sell.

: And no use

concealing what the good lord gave me.

'Cause remember last year...

Bucky... Honey?

Yeah.

- I don't know what my temperature has to do with

making babies, but let's just go

make sure.

O.K., I'll be right there.

You know what?

I've been thinking about new trucks.

Is that right?

Yeah.

The way I see it...

You were never much to liking this job anyway, were ya?

It seems as how Becky and I got... You know, family plans

and all...

I was thinkin' maybe I ought to

take the county job.

Seems like the right thing.

Is that so?

Give it a crank.

Jimmy!

Jimmy!