The Great

‐ Marvelous.

‐ That was...

quite something.

My mind felt as if I had been transported to an altogether different place.

‐ Where?

‐ An Italian forest...

‐ Hmm.

‐ ...but it was a hundred years ago.

It was incredible.

‐ We are in sweaty agreement.

‐ I have women's things.

‐ Toosh and touché both.

‐ I will come and see you and Paul before I go.

‐ It is a mad plan.

‐ You mean genius.

‐ Possibly both, definitely one.

‐ I'll take it as a compliment.

‐ Have fun running Russia.

‐ Archie!

‐ I didn't see anything.

‐ What are you doing here?

‐ God abandoned me, I drank heavily, woke up here.

Air was thick with the scent of love.

Heard you cry something along the lines of "Never stop fucking me,"

so did not wish to disturb so just stayed lying on the ground.

‐ Polite of you.

‐ Manners are everything.

You and Peter.

The world is off its axis.

‐ I think it's actually finally on.

God abandoned you?

‐ I probably deserved it.

‐ You've always had such faith.

How will you lead your church if you don't believe in it?

‐ It's a definite problem.

‐ I am going to meet the Sultan and end the war.

‐ Seems a big day.

‐ You're a savvy player. I could do with it, come with me.

‐ I'm a savvy player when I work for God, as I serve something beyond myself.

‐ Serve me then.

‐ I'd like to, but I am unraveled in every way.

I just need to lie down...

have a drink.

Read the Bible.

Whipping sometimes helps...

‐ Hey, Catherine!

Wow, big room.

Chunky furniture.

I love how... stolid you guys are.

‐ Hugo.

‐ Just checking in on how you're feeling about invading Sweden?

‐ I am ending a war, not starting another.

It's over, Hugo, but you are welcome to stay as long as you like.

Oh. Macaroon? They're for the troops.

‐ Fantastic.

‐ Hello, court, say hello to Paul.

Hello, Paul.

‐ They're actually together.

‐ Mm‐hmm. It's a fucking horror.

‐ Fuck me.

‐ What's wrong? ‐ What the fuck happened?

He was supposed to be dead.

Couped. And now they're together? It's a nightmare.

‐ Here's the menu plan for the wedding. I trust you like it.

‐ We can't just have ice cream, Maxim.

‐ Okay...

‐ Leave it with me.

‐ I don't think you should be judging other people's relationships.

‐ Any luck?

‐ She made me eat a macaroon that tasted like burnt dog.

‐ And said no?

‐ Ah, Hugo! ‐ There he is!

Why is he wearing his child?

‐ It's disgusting. You never touched our children.

‐ Why would I? ‐ Paul is eating foie gras!

‐ Amazing!

‐ Look. Mm‐mm‐mm‐mm‐mm‐mm.

Some for you. ‐ Oooh!

Mmm! Mm‐mm‐mm‐mm.

‐ And some more for you. Oooh.

‐ He's such a good dad. ‐ Is he?

And when Paul says, "What was Grandma like?" what's he say?

"She was a good fuck actually, shame I killed her"?

‐ He's changed. Look at him.

‐ Oh, hungry little bear. Yum!

‐ Where are you going?

‐ Nowhere. I'll see you later. ‐ You're going to go tell her.

‐ Tell my best friend that her husband fucked her mother and then killed her?

Why would I do that? ‐ Yes, why would you?

Because you wouldn't be that dumb, because that would blow the world up.

And truth is the world is pretty fucking nice right now

if we can all just let the past go.

‐ Right.

‐ And if you did, she would have to kill him and then I would have to kill you.

All in all, I think there would be a lot of killing.

But if you don't...

you have a nice wedding with a lot of ice cream...

and we all just live happily ever after.

‐ Sounds good.

‐ Marial.

‐ Okay, okay, I love ice cream.

Horrifically I also love you, so...

‐ And I you.

‐ You are shining, my dear. I watched for a bit and it was‐‐

‐ You too?!

‐ I won't watch again, unless it's requested.

Macaroon?

‐ Oh! Disgusting.

‐ Tomato and sage. They're experimenting again.

And do you have a message for the troops?

‐ I'm actually coming with you.

The Sultan has responded and will meet me.

I will end this thing.

‐ You are a wonder.

‐ I am happy.

I have recalibrated my heart to its truth.

And now I will go recalibrate my reign to the same.

You look stunning, as the cliché goes.

‐ I thought you'd gone.

‐ I leave in an hour. I had to see you.

You, a married woman.

I promise I will be back in time.

‐ Right, well, I hope the war negotiations go well.

You should get going.

‐ I got lost in an Italian forest this morning,

while Peter and I were fucking.

‐ A forest you say?

‐ It was astonishing,

and then when I came back and opened my eyes and saw him,

I melted, Marial.

‐ Great story.

‐ I fucking love him.

I hope you and Maxim find similar happiness.

Without the fucking, as he is eight and that is wrong.

‐ Well aware. Thank you. You should go.

‐ It is better than I imagined this would ever feel.

It's like my body can barely contain the feeling.

It's like... like I'm bursting all the time.

It's just... different.

More complex in a way,

more fabulously complicated, as we both are that.

But we recognize it in each other and wrap our arms around our complexities.

‐ Let me just take a deep breath here.

‐ Oh. Dress tight? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

Something like that.

Do you really think he's changed?

People's nature is people's nature.

I'm a bit of a bitch, always will be.

He's a monster, always will be.

You need to be wary, all I'm saying.

‐ I don't.

I know him.

I have changed him,

and Peter's my great love.

‐ Guess that's why he fucked and killed your mother.

‐ Liar.

Sorry.

‐ Paul and I were just thinking.

Hmm?

Mommy, we want to come with you.

Because what is the most unbearable thing in the world to the three of us?

Hmm? To be apart.

Oh.

‐ I don't think... ‐ Please, Mummy.

‐ Can you... Give him to me.

‐ I think he's hungry.

I crushed up some apple and walnut into a paste.

Look...

The Sultan is a mad cunt who will not see reason

except when it is on the end of a knife shoved into his eyeball.

A figure of speech, of course. I would never do that.

You can take one person with you. Choose me.

I will come and protect you.

‐ No.

You just... stay here with Paul.

‐ You will miss us.

‐ Yes.

‐ Are you all right? You've been very quiet.

‐ I have something important to do.

‐ Of course.

Go gentle with Velementov.

A man's ego is a tender thing and you need him with you‐‐

‐ I do not need yet another schooling from you, it is tedious.

‐ I'm just trying to help.

‐ Are you actually still moving your mouth?

‐ Catherine‐‐ ‐ Go and hand out your macaroons.

Velementov!

‐ What the f‐‐

‐ The Sultan has agreed to meet in the borderlands.

‐ What? ‐ I have a genius plan that I will pitch to him.

‐ I am on the cusp of complete victory!

‐ My casualty lists tell me, even if we win, we do not win.

We spoke their language, Velementov.

They get that we can,

and you have done a great job at proving how pointless and bloody that is.

Now I come in, end it,

and we go do what I was born to do.

‐ God forbid that we are anything but your puppets.

‐ We meet him tomorrow.

‐ I'm going to get a drink.