Star Trek: Lower Decks

A hundred-year war, all because

a computer tricked us into fighting each other.

It's so embarrassing.

A lot of civilizations blame it on the supernatural.

At least you didn't fall for that.

: Yeah.

That would have been crazy.

Here's your "lord" AGIMUS, safely disconnected

from his network of drones.

Hey, now, this has all been a huge mistake.

Just let me access your computer mainframe,

and I'll explain everything.

Nice try. Save it for the roboticists

at the Daystrom Institute. Ransom?

All right, fella, in you go.

So, you're the muscle, huh?

Bet you couldn't throw me into that control console over there.

Over there? By that network port?

That's nothing. I could easily toss...

: Oh. Oh, you almost got me.

I underestimated your intelligence.

- Clearly, you should be the captain... - Yeah.

Anyone hungry?

I could eat.

Ugh. I don't know why I keep

giving alien street food a chance.

It's always such a gamble.

Captain, we're being hailed.

On screen. Queen Paolana.

To what do we owe this pleasure... again?

We're having a spot of engine trouble here on the Monaveen.

My royal engineers can't seem to suss out the hiccup.

- Uh-huh. - Carol, you're the closest

Starfleet ship in the quadrant.

As such, I must call upon the aid

of your chief engineer.

What a surprise.

- Captain, we have completed the... Ah!

My dear Andarithio! Have you been eating?

You're wasting away. And what happened

- to that mustache? It is thinning. -

- Hello, Mother. - Are you taking your vitamins?

You must start eating eggs.

Boimy's got a phaser rifle. Nice.

Now, how are those different from regular phasers?

Uh, they take two hands.

You're just jealous 'cause you pulled a boring cargo trip

to the Daystrom Institute

while I get to wrangle giant centipedes.

Ooh. You're on the mission to Dansk?

Yup. Another class M for my planetary review log.

How are you excited for giant, nightmarish centipedes?

You know, back on the Titan,

we did this kind of wet work all the time.

Ugh. Don't say "wet work." Gross.

What? It was work, it was wet. It-it-it was fine.

I'm just glad Ransom's finally taking my experience to heart.

"Ensign Boimler, report for reassignment

to escort of cargo to the Daystrom Institute"?

But that's what you're doing.

Aw, sorry, man. No getting eaten by an arthropod today.

Instead you can load the crates.

And, hey, I'm gonna do you a favor.

We'll spray 'em down. You can still have your wet work.

Aw.

Okay, team.

Listen up. Some of you might have heard

that my mother's back on the ship.

Now, we all know the score.

Please don't fall for one of her deceptions.

Uh, wait. What deceptions?

Mother is the queen of Hysperia, my homeworld.

When I joined Starfleet,

I abdicated my birthright as prince.

Hysperia... Oh! That's the planet with the dragons

that got colonized by all those Ren faire types.

Did you grow up in a castle?

Yes, but a life of mythical adventure can't compare

to working on the old impulse engine.

Which is exactly why my mom is always trying

to trick me into having sex.

Uh, sorry. What now?

By Hysperian law, if I lose my virginity,

then I automatically become king.

I'd have to resign from Starfleet and take the throne.

Here he is, Your Majesty.

Mother, if you're planning on tricking me

into intercourse, think again.

The only lady I love is two decks tall

and pumped full of dilithium.

My sweet Andarithio, I promise, no tricks this time.

- Really? - Yes.

Obviously, I still hope one day

you'll give up this nonsense, but I see now

that I was pushing you away.

Oh. So, then why are you here?

The dragonbreath engines in our ships have been breaking down.

We have no idea why.

Hysperia will be left defenseless.

My son, I'm asking you to help your people,

not as a prince, but as...

an engineer.

Okay, now that I can do.

Mr. Rutherford, you're with me.

It's time to prove to my mother that I'm more than a royal stud.

: Billups! Billups! Billups!

Aw, man, I'm not cut out for this.

But you fix the Cerritos all the time.

Yeah, but this is different. We're talking about

a fancy cruiser stuffed with puffy monarchs.

I-I'm gonna go tell Billups he should use someone else.

No! You belong there as much as anyone else.

You need to get outside your comfort zone.

But I love my zone. It's so comfortable.

So you'll really turn down working on a whole new engine?

Uh, well, it would be nice

to see how the other half channels their antimatter.

That's the ticket. Just ignore all the fancy gowns,

and make sure not to say anything rude,

be careful how you stand. Oh, and you should

- definitely learn how to curtsy. -

- Ah... - Hey, cheer up.

This is a blessing in disguise.

You really wanted to be covered in centipedes right now?

It would've looked great on my evaluations.

- Yeah, assuming you survived. - What was that?

Oh, just kick back, man, enjoy the trip.

After we drop this thing off,

we'll grab some Okinawa ramen and...

Whoa. Uh, sensors say

we hit a gravimetric shear.

Oh, no. We're in the gravity well.

Uh, try manual controls. Auto is out.

Ugh!

No response! Brace for impact!

Mariner? Mariner?

I'm okay. It's just a fracture.

- - Ugh. Just?

Oh, God, I can't even look at it.

Well, good news. It's a breathable atmosphere,

wherever we are.

Looks like we aren't the only ones to hit that anomaly.

Most systems are down, no way to send a distress call.

No. We-we were outside of communication range.

It's gonna be a week before anyone even notices

that we haven't checked in.

Good thing the replicator's still intact.

Computer, iced tea, splash of lemonade, cold.

Black licorice, dry.

Great.

The least nutritious food that tastes the most like poison.

Help. Help me.

Did you hear something?

Ah, thank you, friend.

I am freed.

Aw, crap. It's the evil computer.

We're not supposed to interact with it.

- - Hey, hey!

Before you close that, consider...

- Dang it. - I can contact help!

- - Oh, come on, friends.

Help me help you.

Hysperian culture can be a bit, uh, distracting.

Whoa.

Wow. Sir, is that you?

Prince Andarithio!

- Just call me Billups. Thank you. - It's such an honor to bask in your glory.

Our beloved Prince Andarithio has returned.

Ah, okay, don't-don't need the necklace.

- Huzzah! Huzzah! - Thank you.

Uh, but you don't have to bask. Uh, not really a prince.

My chief blacksmith is simply baffled by the loss of power,

so I don't know what you can do.

Rutherford, check the levels of the dragonsblood flame.

- The what? - Sorry.

The primary fusion reactor.

Hysperians renamed everything to sound like magic.

Uh, the, uh, elf matrix seems like it's...

- Don't do that. - Sorry.

The subspace field matrix should be online.

It's not? That's impossible.

The plasma levels would be completely unregulated.

Son, are you saying

the problem is beyond your engineering acumen?

No. No. Okay, no. We will just have

to run a full diagnostic from the bottom up.

You can run your full diagnostic

along my bottom up, my liege.

- - Nope, thank you.

Ignore them and just get to work.

Friend, I'm worried about you.

Your hair-- patchy, your skin-- pimply.

- Are you sick? -

Boims, don't engage. That's how they get you.

- Evil computers are so chatty. - Tell you what.

Just connect me to an engineering conduit.

I could whip up a sonic shower. Wouldn't that feel splendid?

- - Uh, what was that?

- : Can it see us? - I don't know. Just don't move.

I know when I'm feeling scared, the best thing you can do