The Toy

[JEFFREY OSBORNE'S ''I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND'' PLAYING]

Just to show you that my heart's in the right place,

I'll give you a ticket for some mouthwash, because you got halitosis.

Hey, that's my beer!

I'm gonna raise you a dollar in food stamps.

Hey, everybody. There's a job at Haley's Car Wash.

Forget about it. You're not gonna get it.

I'd like to call the hurry-up squad. I've got a good hand.

What is this, a dog thing? Nobody wants--

Who the hell put that in?

There's a lot. I got two dogs.

Bring them down. We'll barbecue them.

Ha, ha, ha. I'll do that. You can eat them.

You're lucky you didn't say you had a kitty.

Put some Alpo coupons in. That's some good food.

Pure horse meat. Does not shrivel in the skillet.

You can spread it on bread.

Are we gonna play? What have you got?

I got a straight. I almost got a straight.

Let's see your straight. I got a pair of sevens. Ha-ha.

I got a pair of nines.

There are five, six puppies.

How you doing, baby? Hi, baby.

Can I take something?

Take this. What can I get?

You can get lost, Clifford. I like that. Get lost.

Check this out, baby.

Jack. How about one-on-one, little man?

It's all right with me, big man.

Get a feel of the ball. Bounce it.

Jack. Let me have it.

Come on. Can't you play the game?

Uh-huh. Are you gonna do that every time?

Jack.

Jack, your Army buddy came to my office today.

It was very embarrassing. He's gonna auction off the house.

What? He's gonna auction off the house.

No, they can't. My parents gave me this house.

They gave you the mortgage.

You know it's my house. But we haven't paid in six months.

I haven't finished the book. When I do, the publisher will give me money.

Would you stop about the book? Angela, you know I'm a writer.

Yes, darling. You are a writer. A very good writer.

I am a writer, right? He's a writer.

Hey, everybody, ain't I a writer?

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Stanley!

Back, two, three, four.

Stanley!

Register at the desk if you want to take the class.

I want to see my friend before he goes to work.

Jack, get out of here.

Why are you upsetting Angela, telling her you're selling my house?

You're not gonna sell it, right?

Hey! The house belongs to the bank

unless you come up with a quick 1 0 grand.

I'll try to stop them, but I can't do anything if you don't have a job.

So get a job and get out, Jack.

I have a job. Writing a book is a job.

Writing a book is a cop-out, Jack. Now get a job.

A paying job will convince them of your sincerity

and your earnest intentions.

Ticklish! Ha-ha-ha.

Now if you get a job-- Ha-ha. Don't touch me, Jack.

Don't. Physical contact. We'll lose our license.

Get out of here, will you? Ha-ha. You're disrupting the class.

Just get out! Get out! Get out!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Get a job! Get a job! Get a job!

Hey, brother. Where you going?

Where you going? Clifford, I'm here for a job.

What do you think we're in line for? The bus.

No, no. The job. I'll tell you what to do.

All you waiting on the job? Yeah. Get your bicycle.

Okay? As you go, back of the line.

If you can't find it, come back to the front again.

Ha-ha-ha. Watch the cars.

Hey! Hey, hey, buddy! Watch out!

Hi. Hi.

Oh, my God! He's gonna hit that man!

Get off my face.

[CAR TIRES SQUEALlNG, THEN CRASHING]

Come on, Shorty. Come on. Watch yourself. Come on.

There you go. Good boy.

Hey! What, you crazy idiot!

Huh? Let's see. Yeah. No. Instruments? No.

Cleaning lady? Cleaning lady? Hmm.

Away! Halt.

Hey, pops. What do you need?

Want to keep an eye on this for me?

Hi, foxy lady. I do thank you so very much.

Hey, a quarter. I'm gonna buy a car with this.

I have a job for you. You mind? Not at all.

Hold those while I get in. Bless your heart. Good luck to you. Thank you.

Not for you. It's a free country.

That's Fancy Bates. His daughter?

Wife numero three. You think she's ready?

Ready for what? Black experience.

You ready?

Take it easy, Fancy.

Miss Jackie Brown.

Is there no Miss Jackie Brown?

Huh? That's me. Miss Jackie Brown.

I got it. Not you. We need a part-time woman.

I can be a part-time woman. I'm a part-time woman.

Jackie Brown. Heh, heh, heh.

Man, no jive. This is--

That's good. That's very good. You're what we call ''overqualified.''

Mr. Brown, we're looking for a woman to do a little part-time cleaning,

and you're a journalist.

Go see the people in Mr. Bates' newspaper.

The Bugle. They're not hiring any blacks.

Is this a protest?

You're not starting a sit-in, are you?

I just want a job.

Oh, here's your phi Beta. I'm sorry.

I can do anything a woman can do. Almost.

No. Answer's no.

No now. No tomorrow. No next week.

No next month. No next year.

You know what I like about this outfit, Mr. Morehouse?

Its open-mindedness.

I think you're trouble. Mr. Bates doesn't want any trouble.

Thank you for coming. My secretary will give you a parking validation.

No trouble. l'm not trouble. My girlfriend, she's trouble.

Is she foxy? Ha-ha-ha. What kind of trouble could she be?

Oh, she's a legal staff for the local Klanwatch.

She's very litigious.

Litigious.

That means she sues people? Like in court.

Oh. Why don't you sit down. You don't want this job.

No. I'll be truthful with you.

You'd have to come in two days, at noon on Tuesdays and Fridays

to help serve a staff luncheon.

I worked through college waiting tables.

Every weeknight you have to clean the window displays for three hours.

I'll take it. It's that bad out there?

Worse.

How attached are you to that beard?

I'm not gonna vacuum with my beard. That's the '60s. This is the '80s.

You see, we're all part of Mr. Bates' family here.

And none of us have beards.

I will not be denied, Sidney.

She's busy. Come back about 3:00.

I'm looking for Miss Ruby D. Simpson.

That's me. What do you want?

I'm the new cleaning lady.

Lord have mercy. Morehouse done flipped his wig.

No, ma'am. I'm the new cleaning lady.

Come on, honey. Walk this way.

Move it.

He's gonna want to see all of this. So you know what your job is.

Of course, you want to be ready, right?

Chicken, Mr. Morehouse?

Oh, God. Mr. Morehouse.

Please get some trousers on before Mr. Bates sees you, okay?

Okay, pilgrim.

Here you go. Chicken.

Here you go. Big dipper.

Chicken from the back. Bam.

U.S. Hello, U.S.

Good morning, U.S. Good morning, U.S.

How do you do, U.S.? Morning, U.S.

Mr. U.S., phone. No calls. Time is money.

It's your son. Oh. Excuse me.

Time is money.

Hello, Eric?

How was the flight?

Good. Good.