Bob's Burgers

Dig, Gene!

Show me the treasure!

Maybe it's some tin foil and we can recycle it.

Maybe it's a shovel, and I won't have to dig with my hands.

Look! It's a watch!

Ollie? How long have you been down there?

Where's Andy? He was supposed to unbury me.

There you are! I've been digging all over for you!

Is your brother around?

He's over there playing with Zeke.

Okay, Jimmy Jr., put me in a crotch-lock

and see if I can get out of it.

Zeke.

This is why I'm only friends with women.

Pull the key out!They're on the wrestling team together.

Pull the key out!I could help you practice, Jimmy Jr.

Tomorrow's good for me.

Thanks, but me and Zeke are going to watch them

demolish that taffy factory tomorrow.

We're gonna watch it get blowed up. Boom!

Scoop. Ow! Ah!

Tina, Gene, let's go.

We've got a whole beach to comb.

Yes, sir.I'm good.

Come on! Hah!

Bobby, want to come over and watch the game tonight?

I'm making a three-bean salad, but it's bring your own bean.

Can I put you down for garbanzo?

No.Nah, he can't.

: Bob's got plans tonight.

Yeah, Teddy. Um...

Sunday nights me and Linda have, uh, you know, an arrangement.

Oh!

Scheduled sex.

Eh... Do you want to borrow my Sade tape?

Guess what we found with our metal detector?

Another metal detector! Yay.

And I found this on the beach. I think it could help me.

Ooh. Passion fruit paperbacks. Juicy!

Too bad you kids can't take the metal detector

over to Caffrey's taffy factory.

Find his secret treasure before they tear the place down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... ho, secret treasure?

What are you, ah... What are you talking about?

Whoops, there I go again.

Divulging amazing secrets.

Yeah, my Uncle Paddy told me about it.

He used to work in Caffrey back in the '50s.

He was his maid.

Your Uncle Paddy was a maid?All maids were men back then.

Until women joined the workforce and took all the maid jobs away.

All right, girls! Go, girls!

A big part of Paddy's job was dusting Caffrey's money.

Caffrey didn't make his money from candy, you know.

He was a bootlegger!

I believe the term is leg-warmer.

No it is not, Gene.

Anyway, Caffrey ran liquor

during Prohibition.

There are tunnels under the factory where they brought

the booze in with boats at high tide.

And the tunnels were booby trapped

to keep out the G-men...

Lousy Feds.

Rumor is Caffrey even made a bunch of taffy dummies

to guard his operation.

Like the Terra Cotta Warriors of ancient China.

China. Stick to noodles, right?

Is that racist?

Yes. A little bit. No.

Anyway, Caffrey didn't trust banks,

so he hid all his gold down there in the tunnels.

Mm-hmm...

Uncle Paddy told me about it,

and now I'm gonna tell you.

There's a secret elevator in the factory

that takes you down to the tunnels underneath.

Uh-huh. Continue. Yep. Uh...

You follow the tunnel around the curve

till you get to three stones, and then you take the tunnel

that bends this way, and there's the treasure!

It's a butt!

Get it? A butt!

With three turds!

Eh, Paddy got me good with that one when I was a kid

and now I'm paying it forward.

Eh... Yeah, that's a... That's a great one, Teddy.

Gold?

He was a funny man, that Paddy. Eh...

A funny male maid.

With a serious drinking problem and psoriasis.

Kids-only meeting. Now.I'll get Mom.

No, Ti-Tina! Kids!

Listen, let's go get the taffy factory treasure!

We've got the map!

But it's just a butt!

Teddy was just messing with our heads.

Men do that.

No, no, this might be real. Think about it.

If you had the chance to make a treasure map in a shape...

what shape would you make it?

Butt. Butt. Exactly!

The factory's getting demolished tomorrow,

so we have to go tonight.

You guys in? We doing this?

I could move some things around.

Let's find butt treasure!

Oh. Well, I am done.

No more chewing for me.

Look at the time. Yeah!

I'm gonna sleep like a baby.

: A horny baby. Ooh.

Ah... Great dinner, Mom.

You outdid yourself.

That was a great day all around. One for the books.

I want to go to bed immediately

before I spoil it and make it just a regular day.

: That was easy.

That was easy.

: Gene, you don't need to do that.

Their door is shut.I know. My belly itches.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

There it is, guys.

Caffrey's treasure is as good as ours.

And no one knows about it!

What is Jimmy Jr. doing here?

I invited him. What?!

This book is gonna be my treasure map

to Jimmy Jr.'s heart.

All I have to do is act like this damsel.

Hey, Tina. Oh, sorry I got dirt on your leg.

Oh, my. H-How will I ever get clean?

Um, hose it off? : Yes.

See that fishtail, J-Ju?

Zeke?! Jimmy Jr., you don't just invite someone without asking!

Yeah! Yeah, we're in agreement on that, Tina!

Okay, good. Oh, Tina!

Whoo!What are we waiting for?

That factory's got windows and I got a passion for smashin'.

Heeyah!

Anyone else coming?

Just Andy, plus one. That's Ollie.

We made it! I got a funcussion!

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

That one didn't hurt.

Ow!

Doofus, Brace-face,

Dingle, Berry, Gas Tank, Blabbermouth.

Just so you know, we're not sharing the treasure

with you, you, you and you.

Jimmy, the way the moonlight shines on your hair

makes me feel so... vulnerable.

Yeah... it makes me feel like... dancing!

Yeah, J-Ju, faster!

Abandoned warehouse! Pent-up feelings!

Footloose it!

Don't tell me not to dance, Dad!

We need to find that secret elevator

and get down to the gold.

I can taste every flavor from the past 60 years!

I can taste the Korean War!

I taste rust.

I taste Andy's spit!

Come on!

What?

The elevator!

This means Uncle Paddy was right!

There's treasure down there!

You're welcome.

Tonight's gonna be a little special.

I got a couple of surprises.

Not Teddy's Sade tape...

Dice?

Sexy dice.

We roll them and they tell us what to do.

Okay. Um, sounds... sexy.

Ooh , let's... "hug." On the...

"chair."

So, you're gonna hug on a chair? Mm-hmm.

Come. That's, uh...

Come to Momma.

Ahh. Oh!

: Get off.

Um... oh. Get off.

There we go, that's better.Whew.

So that's it for that.

So how do we work this thing...?

What's this one do? Ah.

What's happening?It must be a booby trap!

Pull a different lever!

No rush.

Push the other way!

Nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang, nang...

nang... oh, good ear massage.

Uh. Oh, Bobby. Aang, nang, nang, nang.

All right, let-let's see what we got next.

All right? I'm gonna roll.

Ugh. I got "lick" "foot" again.

Lick it like you like it. No.

Lick it like you like it. Lick...No more lick foot.