Mad About You

Previously, I'm mad about you.

Can't stop my heart as much as you.

Let's take each other's hand as we jump into the final frontier.

Get out of here.

You get out of here.

Oh, get out of here.

You get out of here.

Come here.

Get out of here.

My God, so what are you saying?

Wait a second, what are you telling me?

You're pregnant?

So there's like an actual little you and me combination right in there?

Oh, my God, this is, you know, this is just so... Poetic.

Yeah, but it's so, you know... It's magical.

Yeah, no, it definitely is.

What am I thinking?

It's like the way it all just... Sublime.

No, what am I... What?

It's...

It's... This is good.

Mm-hmm.

Who is it?

Hey, it's me!

Oh, man, what is he doing here now?

I don't know, but you know what?

This is perfect.

So Ira will be the first person we get to tell.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We're just telling people that's what we're doing?

Yeah, why wouldn't we?

I don't know.

Come on, they're gonna figure it out eventually.

We'll show up one day, we've got a seven-year-old, they're gonna know.

No, let's just keep it between us for now.

Hey, you guys, open up!

Wait, wait, why?

Why?

A million reasons.

First of all, we don't know anything for sure.

As of now, the only real news is that I've successfully peed on a stick.

Yeah, but come on, this is... And we don't even have confirmation from a gynecologist.

Mark is in Europe.

He'll be back?

In three months.

We should probably find out before then.

All right.

I'm standing out here!

I can't believe you want to tell.

You're the superstitious.

I mean, you know, telling is bad luck.

Is that true?

Yes, you don't tell this early.

How many times have you done this?

You're supposed to wait three months in, four months in.

There's a reason for that.

You know, things can happen.

Things can go wrong.

You're supposed to wait.

Open the damn door!

All right, hey, listen, you know, it's your stick, it's your urine.

Come on, all right, all right, all right, all right.

Hey, by the way, nice going.

You too.

All right, that's it.

Stay.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I think I'm bleeding.

My God.

Let me get you a band-aid.

What happened to you?

I'm walking down the street, minding my own business.

Some lady yells out, hey, Jose.

I don't know why, but I turn around.

You're not Jose.

Exactly.

But she's swinging at me, swinging at me.

I'm covering myself up.

I'm saying, I'm not Jose.

I am not Jose.

Do I look like Jose?

I don't understand, because you're not Jose.

I know, but she thinks that I'm Jose, Paulie.

She's hitting me and grabbing me, and she's cursing at me in Spanish.

Is it possible that I am Jose?

You're not Jose.

Then what the hell took you two so long to answer the door?

Oh, sorry about that.

We were just... Uh, debating.

Debating?

More like discussing.

Discussing, debating.

Debating, discussing, speculating, really.

Speculating.

Speculating?

On what?

Whatever.

Who remembers even now?

What's going on?

Nothing.

Oh, Paulie, come on.

I know something's going on.

All right, well... Nothing is going on?

Nothing is going on.

Something is going on.

All right, something is going on.

Nothing is going on.

Nothing is going on.

All right, we're going to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anybody.

What are you doing?

I thought you said nothing is going on.

He knows something is going on.

Oh, something is going on.

The truth is... And this is really something.

We have to find a new gynecologist.

How about that?

Mark and Fran are in Europe, and so we're... Is everything okay?

Yes, yes, yes, everything's fine.

Everything's great.

It's just a little... It's a personal matter.

Personal matter?

It's a personal, private, delicate matter It's a woman thing Say no more I've been

going through the yellow pages to friends' recommendations, that article in New York.

Magazine on the best doctors in New York Hey, hey, hey, what about Joan?

Joan who, what, Debbie's Joan?

Yeah, yeah, she's a gynecologist Yeah, so?

Yeah, but so, no, right?

I don't think so Why?

Yeah, well, it's just too weird Yeah, I mean, Joan is, she's my sister's

girlfriend She's, you know, she's family You don't, you don't want to go to family

for something like this You know, if we're a foot or, God forbid,

a shoulder, fine You know, then you can go see a friend or an uncle or whatever But

for something like this Yeah, something like this To me, anything that involves

the removing of the underwear, you know, you don't want to mess around.

And plus, Jamie is going to have the best Oh, of course You know what I mean?

You don't have to have the best house or the best car or the best, you know,

piece of chicken Hey, you don't want a bad piece of chicken?

Certainly not But you understand what I'm saying You want the best, exactly I understand In fact, I can help you What?

Because you have a good gynecologist?

No, no, but I can help find you one.

I will find you the best gynecologist in New York City.

Oh, you know what?

Listen, you don't have to do that.

Come on, it'll be a pleasure.

Really, you don't have to do that?

Please, allow me to do this for you.

There's no reason really that you should be... Hello?

Jose, it's for you.

Okay, this is for Thursday.

We've got Dr. Keffler at 10, then I'll meet you with Dr. Kalsa at 1, and at 3, Dr. No.

Dr. No?

Are you gonna use Sean Connery's gynecologist?

N-O-H.

He's Korean.

Just making a joke.

Don't be offended.

We might have to go with one of these guys if we can't get in to see Dr. Vonderfall.

Dr. Vonderfall.

Gonna make fun of every name or what?

No.

No, but come on, Dr. Vonderfall, he's asking for it.

He's the guy I was telling you about.

He's the best.

New York Magazine did a whole profile just on him.

He was on Nightline.

Anthony Edwards' character in ER is based on this guy.

Is that true?

Yes.

That's so cool.

Well, hey, listen, Vonderfall is the guy, and he's the best, and Vonderfall is Devan.

Vonderfall, Dr. Vonderfall?

Hey, Deb.

Hi.

Hi.

Yeah.

Vonderfall, you're gonna see Dr. Vonderfall?

Is it Vonderfall, Doc, or is it Vonderfall?

Because either way, it's quite Vonderfall.

It's nothing.

It's just a little... It's a woman thing.

I should think so.

And Mark's out of town, so we're just gonna see him.

Why don't you go see Joan?

I'll get you an appointment.

No, that's okay.

We don't want anyone to bother you.

Oh, no bother.

I'll call her right after lunch.

You shouldn't go out of your way because Mark will be... Consider it done.

So, only 96 hours, 15 minutes and 12 seconds until Mom and Dad finally meet Joan.

Relax.

I'm sure the big news was that you have a girlfriend.

Now you're just, you know, giving them a face to attach to all the... sleepless nights spent crying.

Thank you, Paul.

See how nice I am when you come out of the closet.

What does she mean by that?

Anyway, for the big Joan meeting, I still can't decide.

Dinner or lunch?

Well, it's really which would you rather see Mom choke on.

Lunch.