Lake Placid: The Final Chapter

Oh.

Ugh.

Ah!

You again?

You really want to do this?

This research is very important, Sheriff.

Don't worry, Dennis, we'll catch you one.

There's a good feeding spot up here where the currents meet.

Sounds good.

Why does this always seem like a better idea on dry land?

Why did the crocodile cross the road?

To eat the chicken.

You have a way of taking the fun out of things.

You sound like my daughter.

Remember, we're here to capture, not kill, not injure.

As far as we know, there are only half a dozen

of these crocodile creatures on all of planet Earth.

There's more two-headed cats born every year.

Oh, now we know that's not true.

The point is, we kill one of them, even one,

we're making the world a lonelier place.

Are you buying this craziness?

It's tree-hugging bullshit!

All right, get to it.

Crocodiles, normal crocodiles,

they couldn't survive in these conditions.

Yeah, yeah, we get it. They're a damn miracle!

You know, the miracle is that we haven't napalmed this place yet.

My previous job used to be on the anti-preservation side of things.

Fish and Game shanghaied me into this for one reason.

Yeah, to make sure you didn't go to prison for poaching.

Because I know how to blow these bastards to high hell

if things go all ape-shit.

Reba, I've got one.

What the hell was in those?

Elephant roofies.

Seems like it did the trick.

Jump into croc-infested waters, that's smart.

Smart, no.

Fun? Fuck, yeah!

Lieutenant. Sheriff.

You got what you came for?

Five-footer. Should do.

Great.

Then let's get the hell out of here.

Spotted the footprints of something bigger down the shore.

How much bigger?

A lot.

Work fast.

Eat me.

Let's get the hell out of here.

We gotta get the hell out of here.

Oh, for fuck's sakes.

Damn it!

Max!

Open the gate.

Come on, Max, open the gate!

Watch this shit. You're gonna love it!

That one had to be 20 feet long.

You told me the biggest one was six feet,

maybe seven feet at the most.

Listen, lady, the first time I saw that thing

is when it tried to bite our asses off.

It's your job to keep tabs on them!

It's a big damn lake!

Look, none of my people saw anything that big

while building the fence.

What, your boyfriend gets a pass but I don't?

Max, wait by my truck.

If I can stick my head into this lovely argument for a second...

Let me guess, the Godzilla wannabe up there is even more miraculous

and life-affirming than the rest of them, and we can't kill it either.

No! But something important is happening here.

Crocodile, a normal croc? No way it gets even 10 feet.

He's right. I mean, the growth rate on these crocs

is mathematically impossible.

You want to contain this problem, Sheriff?

You gotta find out the cause, mutation, environmental factor, what?

Think about that before you start shooting guns.

There's no need for shooting. That's what the fence is for.

Keep crocs in, people out.

Who has access to the lake?

The four of us, a few more Army Corps people, EPA, Fish and Game.

From now on, no one goes in or out without my say-so.

I'm gonna call your boss, see if I can get him to take your leash off.

Hey.

Hey.

Look, she's not my...

The Sheriff, she is nobody's girlfriend.

Sounds like your problem.

Can we, uh, short circuit this whole

rebellious teen, authoritarian dad thing, please?

I'm good.

Now can I get back to work?

Look at me.

When this place was a glorified petting zoo,

I was okay with you being here.

Now, with what we just saw...

You gonna tell those other guys

that it's too dangerous for me to work out there,

but not too dangerous for them?

Okay.

Finish your work and I'll see you at home.

Hi! Hi, Mom.

Give it. Ah, give it back!

Oh, don't tell me you're studying again.

If you saw the reading list I just got from my Lit professor...

The ink isn't even dry on your diploma yet.

Ease off the throttle a little.

What do you have against having a good time?

I slept in today.

No, you didn't. I heard you typing on your computer

when I left this morning.

I'm a little obsessive.

A little?

A lot.

Come with me on a walk. I want some coffee.

The EPA director won't even submit it

to his subcommittee, which means...

Cut out the boring parts.

My hands are tied.

Bitch!

What's his problem?

Why does everybody think this is our fault?

We've been here six months. Black Lake was lousy with the reptiles

before I ever heard of the place. Mmm.

Hey! What can I get you?

Hey, Barbara, the usual. Yeah, sure.

Me, too. Thanks.

So, I have a really great idea.

Yeah?

Yeah. What?

Why don't you read for a couple of hours, you know,

then we'll rent a movie,

a foreign film, so you can still feel like you're reading.

Chloe?

Yeah?

Yes to what you said.

So what's the first book on your list?

Uh, Heart of Darkness. Heart of Dark...

Oh, that's an even better idea.

We can rent Apocalypse Now. Mmm-hmm.

Here you go, ladies.

Thanks.

- He's cute. - Oh, my God.

Mom, we're not talking about boys.

I don't want to talk about boys.

I don't even have a boy to talk about.

Really? Really.

Whatever you say.

Chloe!

Uh, this is my cousin, Tina.

Hey. Hi, Sheriff.

Hey. Oh, wait a second,

isn't this your senior camping trip this weekend?

Yeah, we're tagging along with Dillon High because our class was so small.

I thought you were going.

I'm not going.

I thought I was making you go.

Please, make her go.

Okay, I gotta go, all right?

I order you to have fun whether it's with me or your friends.

Yes, ma'am. Love you.

Make her have some fun.

You really should come, Chloe. There's still room on the bus.

Is Drew coming?

Let's get Dennis his croc DNA

so we can make us some money.

Camp all set up?

Yeah. Just like you said. This way.

How about the boat?

Ready to go.

Now, look! We need you all to just calm down.

See, we all want the same thing.

No, we don't.

We want those damn things dead.

And you want to...

To make the town safe.

You swore up and down it was safe,

but now we hear there's one of them 40-foot long.

That, sir, was a gross exaggeration!

This wouldn't have happened under Sheriff Willinger's watch.

It did happen under his watch.

That's why I'm here.

We also have the Army Corps of Engineers

here to build a fence to contain them.

We're trusting the same Army Corps that built the levees in New Orleans.

Listen.

In the time I've been here, I've come to know a lot of you.

The last thing that I would want is to put any of you in danger.

The fence will hold. You have my word.

I'm gonna turn this over to our Fish and Game rep, Reba.

Reba, can you enlighten us

as to why we have to protect these creatures

who've killed dozens of people?

Well, when you put it that way, I'm gonna get going.

Reba, please.

Fine.

Look, I'd rather be harpooning them myself than babysitting them,

but, uh, they are the only ones of their kind.