The Office

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

I'm sorry, he's not in yet.

Would you like his voicemail?

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Okay.

Twelve miles an hour.

Eat that, Carl Lewis!

Angela made several 911 calls about cars

going too fast in front of the building,

so the police put up a radar gun.

It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.

Wow, 13.

No, no, no. Yeah!

There was wind. I was just jogging.

Dwight, there was wind. I want a do over.

No, no, no, it's not your turn. All right, 13 is the new number.

Oscar, go ahead.

I want another try. Here we go!

Thirty-one! 31!

There was a car.

I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number.

Thirty-one is humanly impossible.

Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my number.

That's impossible. Beat it!

Today's a big day. My presence has been requested

by Chief Financial Officer, David Wallace.

He says that he wants to talk about big picture stuff,

and, I'll be honest, I have little or no idea what that means.

So, probably bad.

Quick announcement. New year, new candy.

Okay, be careful, Kevin. They're kind of spicy.

Hot Tamales.

Yeah. Uh-oh.

So maybe just try one at first,

and then if it's okay, have a couple more.

Excuse me, everyone, can I have the floor, please?

Um...

This is insanely awkward.

It's kind of the elephant in the room, so I'll just...

No one has RSVPed to our wedding yet,

and the deadline was yesterday.

Wait, you still don't know...

No, no. No.

Hmm?

Nothing. You still don't know...

Why don't... Let's... What are you doing?

How about we just... I just have to talk to you for a second.

Andy. Has... Ah.

No. No one has RSVPed,

and I don't understand it, and now you're shutting me out.

You're not even listening, and that's really considerate. Thank you.

No, what I'm saying... No, no.

No, that's not... I know...

Andy still doesn't know that Angela is having an affair with Dwight.

And it's been 17 days.

I mean, eventually he'll figure it out

when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth.

But right now, it's just awkward.

How can he still not know?

We can't figure that out. I can't take it anymore.

Wait, what? You can't take what?

I'm telling Andy, Dwight.

No, you can't do that. Yes.

It shouldn't come from you. Who should it come from, then?

Angela. Angela.

From Angela. Angela.

Are you still having intercourse with her?

What is wrong with you? She is engaged.

Did you ever have intercourse in this office?

Are you serious?

Where?

Where?

Where, Dwight?

Seems like you already know where.

Kevin, you screwed this form up again.

The amount owed goes at the top.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was doing something wrong.

If I had, I would have admitted it and stopped right away.

That's enough.

Because I wouldn't want an innocent person

who doesn't know anything about the form...

What?

That was good.

It's just at the end you werert saying something

that could also apply to the form.

How about,

"I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form"?

There you go.

That cannot be true!

You're going to charge me a fee to cut my own cake?

No, no, no, no.

What I'm saying is I want to cut it myself.

Trade seats with me.

No.

I've got a better angle on Pam.

I can see everything.

Please stop.

I need a soup spoon.

Rule 17, don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged,

or the dominant turkey during mating season.

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn before the age of five.

Learn your rules You better learn your rules

If you don't you'll be eaten in your sleep

What is it?

You've gotta tell Andy about us.

That is a terrible idea. One of your worst.

Get it over with. Then we don't have to hide anymore.

You're expanding on your worst idea.

Do you love me or not?

I've already admitted that I do.

Why do you keep making me repeat it?

Because you're engaged to Andy.

Well?

Not yet. When?

When what?

When what?

You know this can't go on.

What can't go on? We have to put an end to this.

Seems like... Come on.

...you guys should be hearing what I'm saying.

This is really not how this is supposed to happen.

Angela said she was gonna tell him. She's just not ready.

When will she be ready? I don't know.

Is she crazy in bed? Yes.

Stop. What? How so, specifically?

Okay, listen.

This shouldn't happen at work. Eager and flexible.

And... Really?

...this shouldn't be coming from his boss.

And we should also consider the fact that that man has an anger issue.

Too late. Well, it's not too late

'cause you haven't done anything. I am already walking.

Michael, once this gets out... Yes?

...I don't know how it's gonna go down.

Okay, what does that mean?

Might get ugly.

Jim, this has to get out so we can all deal with it.

But you're leaving.

Have a good trip. Thanks.

Andy? Yeah?

Walk with me.

Will do, boss man.

I do not have much time.

Car's all the way over there.

To tell you what I have to tell you.

And just bear in mind that when I say these things

that are bad things that you hear in your ears,

this is something that I,

if I were you, that I wouldn't want to hear.

You're not making any sense.

Well, no, I'm not.

So I, I'm not very articulate today,

so I'll just leave it for another time.

Another day. All righty.

Which will be fine. I am off.

Have a good meeting. Thank you.

Kick Wallace's ass.

Okay, I will.

Dwight and Angela are having an affair, so...

I can't hear you through the glass.

Dwight and Angela are having an affair.

They've been sleeping together for some time.

That was the news. I wanted to let you know.

What? All right. See you later.

Are you serious? Yeah.

I knew something bad was gonna happen today.

You said that yesterday.

Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.

What are you standing for?

If I'm sitting, I can't disable his neck or his groin.

You're not gonna do anything to his neck or his groin.

If I'm sitting, I don't have the option to.

Dwight, I'm in charge while Michael's gone, and I need you to sit.

I need to talk to you.

We can talk right here.

I need to talk to you in private.

We're not listening.

Let's go to the conference room.

Is it true?

What have you heard? That you're sleeping with Dwight.

That doesn't sound like me.

Is it true?

Andy, I'm engaged to you.

I mean, we just signed off on our wedding flowers.

Would I have said yes to formal chrysanthemums

if I didn't want to get married?

And we went through all that stuff with our wedding cake.

Just answer the question. Are you sleeping with Dwight?

A little bit.

How long has this been going on?

I don't know.

I mean, we were together, and then he killed Sprinkles,

and then we stopped and...

I don't know exactly when we started up again.

Who else knows about it?

Michael.

Who else?

Let me think about it. I, um...

They're...