Bad Education

The following is based on a true story.

LONG ISLAND, NY

Thank you all parents and town advocates alike

for joining us on this very special evening.

We're here tonight to kick off our most ambitious school year yet.

We've won numbers and votes,

there's no simpler way for me to put it.

Our children are getting smarter.

Harvard, two. Dartmouth, two.

Yale, three. UPenn, seven.

Care about the community...

Community, parents, administrators, teachers...

Wall Street Journal this week issued a list

that me and my fellow trustees await all year long,

ranking the top public schools in America,

based on SATs and college acceptance rates.

And Roslyn is four.

Now I'd like to bring out the man responsible.

In his 10 years here, he's revamped our educational system,

from Pre-K all the way through high school.

Please join me in welcoming to the stage

our district superintendent and my friend, Frank Tassone!

BAD EDUCATION

Morning.

Hi there!

Go, Bulldogs!

- Have we heard about Mr. Kopple? - Wife had twins, last night.

Send over flowers and maybe an edible arrangement.

- Can we get these things out? - They're nice for morale.

They'd be even nicer if they were shaped like ones.

A wise woman once said

it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got.

Mrs. Gluckin, I barely recognize you anymore,

with your new name, new office, new job title...

Same pay, same paperwork.

July and august are all settled up, expenses booked and archived.

- Perfect. There's something else... - Safety gates are all taken care of.

I'm meeting with city hall later, to go over strategy.

Geez! Someone's had their coffee.

Dr. Tassone? Did you want your flight to the Vegas conference Friday

out of JFK or Newark?

Whatever's cheaper works fine.

Mary Ann, could you grab my diet smoothie?

Sure, but there's one more thing.

Carol Schweitzer's been camped out in the conference room since 6:30.

Says it's urgent she speaks with you.

Chad Schweitzer's the son. I'll take care of it, thanks.

- Good luck! - Stop it!

Do us all a favor. If he's not out of there in an hour, call 911.

I'm banging down doors until somebody here takes me seriously.

That Militzok, she plays favorites.

She wouldn't even let him take a bathroom break during the test!

And he has a hyperactive bladder. Chad, honey, tell him.

- I have a note here from his doctor. - Mrs. Schweitzer, just calm down.

No one will listen to me! I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.

He is just as gifted as everyone else in his year.

I'm scared! Because if he doesn't get into OMNI...

And he starts to think of himself as less than...

No, I will talk to Ms. Militzok. I will straighten this whole thing out.

- You will? - Yes!

And we'll just schedule a make-up test for Chad.

- With ample bathroom time. - Thank you. Dr. Tassone.

No need to thank me. Chad's a smart kid, with the world ahead of him

and it's our job to give him the runway.

Thank you.

It's funny. When I was your age, I didn't place into fast track math.

- Really? - I couldn't nail my times tables.

I thought my world was ending, but I caught up.

You know what? Now I set the math curriculum.

"Thank you, Mr. Tassone, for being a great superintendent."

SNOW DAY MAGIC WAND

Can I help you with something?

No, it's okay. I'm just here for Mrs. Cremona.

She's not here, but I'm more than happy to answer any questions.

- Really? - Yeah.

- I don't want to bother you. - No, come on in.

I'm doing spreadsheets. Come in, take a seat.

- I don't think we've met. - It's Rachel.

- You're Neil's little sister. - Yeah. Wow, good memory!

Hope he's been keeping himself out of trouble over at Northwestern.

Yeah, he loves it. He's doing bio-chem.

- They have great journalism too. - Yes, they do.

I have to write an article about the SkyWalk proposal in the new budget.

I just need a pull quote from administration.

Yeah. A sound bite. Nice!

We've been asking high schoolers how we can make their day easier.

So we came up with the idea of SkyWalk,

a bridge to link the school from end to end.

It's a huge undertaking for us.

We can't wait to break ground once the plan's approved next May.

Great! That's all I need, thank you so much.

- That's it? No follow-ups? - No, it's just a puff piece.

They save the real stories for seniors.

Rachel, it's only a puff piece if you let it be a puff piece.

That's what they'd tell you over at Northwestern.

A real journalist can turn any assignment into a story.

Are you busy? Just couple of colleagues want to convey thanks.

Rachel Bhargava, staff writer for the Hilltop Beacon.

Bob Spicer, school board president.

You're in my daughter Becca's year, right?

- Say hi to your dad for me. - Nice to meet you, Rachel.

And if you want to follow-up, just set a time with Mary Ann.

I'll be keeping an eye out for your byline.

The demand's insane. Skyrocketing!

We're seeing three bedrooms go for over a million in Roslyn Heights.

You just don't see these kinds of numbers in Syosset or Jericho.

But those towns are a further commute from the city.

- Not Manhasset. Not Great Neck. - It's the public schools.

The better the school system, the higher the price tag on the homes.

Our firm's sold nine separate lots in the area

since the report in the Journal came out.

And here's a little something, from all of us.

- Keep up the good work! - Thanks, everyone.

Do you mind if we get a little something for my office?

I really appreciate you all coming in today. Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's let him get back to work.

Really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

I can't eat these.

Take them out somewhere for people to pick at.

- They were out of the flaxseed. - That's okay. Thanks.

How much do you figure a guy like Bob makes at his regular job?

Bob Spicer, you mean?

High sixes a year, minimum. Maybe seven figures in this market. Why?

Forget it.

You look tired. You might want to go home early, get some rest.

I've gotta run Dickens. Maybe I'll try and bow out,

get a head start on prep for Vegas this weekend.

I wouldn't bail on book club.

Those women adore you, and each one talks to two dozen more.

That next budget vote's only nine months away.

- Right, our SkyWalk. - The SkyWalk is big, gets us to first.

That's all that matters.

- This diet's kicking my ass. - What is that even?

- It's got charcoal in it or something. - Yeah, coal.

I would kill somebody for a carb right now.

I don't know where you could find one.

- You are such a bitch! - Would you like a bite?

- I hate pastrami on rye. - Open up.

- It's so good! - Right?

Come on, you can eat more.

- One more bite. - I will kill you!

I'm not gonna tell anyone.

You're a growing boy.

Eat the fucking sandwich.

Should we get started?

What do we all think of Martin Chuzzlewit?

Ok...

The culture's not for everyone.

I thought we wound up having a good discussion, ultimately.

- Can I ask you a personal question? - Sure.

It's just that... Jonah's having a really hard time with the separation.

Mrs. Schlacter told me he's opening up a little bit in Banana Splits.

- Right. Thank you forgetting him... - Of course.

It has been so hard on us and...

You have been such a tremendous help!

Of course, anytime.

Frank, I'm sorry.

You want what's best for your son, that's nothing to be ashamed of.

It makes you strong. It's...

I think, at the end of the day, her memory's still very fresh.

Somehow I'm not surprised.

Jenny screwed up some paperwork, I'm saving her ass.

Jenny's got a good aunt.

How did Dickens go?

It was Sharon Katz's place this week.

I knew it.

Maybe I shouldn't have offered to wash up.

That poor woman. She's nowhere near your type.

She's not...

- Jamieson. - Honors English. Loves Nietzsche?

Very good. Di Gennaro?

Di Gennaro... Social studies. Ninth grade global histo...

American history.

She coaches little league, too.

These are too easy. Here's a toughie.

- Todd Hunter. - Shit!

Todd Hunter...

Mr. Todd Hunter! How's that bowling league shaping up this season?

We're ahead. But we've got our big match against Jericho on Sunday.

Jericho... I think you'll crush them.

Thank you for putting this on.

My pleasure, the least I can do. Excuse me.

Are you getting pumped for Vegas? I got my bags packed, I'm ready to go.

Yeah, be good to get away from the wife for a few days too.

Right!

You want to know how many bids we got from contractors?

For the SkyWalk construction. You explored several options, right?

I think we had four or five.

From which firms, exactly?

What's this article you're supposed to be writing?

It's a piece on the SkyWalk.

And the student paper wanted a deep dive into construction specs?

They're giving me free rein more or less.

I guess I'm just looking for an interesting way in.

- Okay, Ruth. - Rachel.

So let me give you a great angle for your story.

- You want to write this down? - I'm taping.

The SkyWalk is a great project.

It'll be the first SkyWalk in all of Long Island