Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Really, what is the point of a car like this?

It's small, it's impractical, it's honestly just a ridiculous way of moving

people from place to place, but in 1959, it was cars like this Triumph TR3A in

Pearl white with black top and interior that showed the world how to have your

childhood and your adulthood at the same time.

It's got a four-cylinder engine, 105 horsepower, wire wheels with knock-off hubs.

Adults have places to go, things to do.

Kids just want to play with something dumb for no reason at all.

So this is the perfect solution to that eternal imperfection of human life.

How to make sense and be completely silly simultaneously.

You could not have a better context for this car.

Which is why it's the perfect car.

It's a beautiful car.

For my very special guest this week, Mr. John Oliver, the hilarious host of.

HBO's Last Week Tonight and a perfectly logical, absurd human being.

That's your style.

Yeah.

And I love it.

Hello.

Hello, John.

Jerry, how are you doing?

Couldn't be better.

Is that said with sarcasm or with truth?

I abandoned the truth a long time ago.

Well, we're going to get along just fine.

I'll be right there.

I'm Jerry Seinfeld, and this is Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

That's how a gentleman greets another gentleman.

What do you think?

Well, I love it, is what I think.

That's like the perfect British definition of a sports car, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's not even comfortable to get it.

This is your people, okay?

This is their idea.

Oh, you know what?

It does smell like a Triumph, though.

We have got a spectacularly British day today.

Perfect, right?

It's a kind of low, grey sky that sucks all joy from your heart.

So what do you think of it so far?

It's very cozy.

You can imagine yourself on a date with a crumpet.

Is that what you're interested in in England?

Crumpets?

You're blokes and you're in search of crumpets.

Blokes and crumpets?

Yeah, that's all I know about England.

Blokes and crumpets, feeling a lot of things but not articulating anything.

Right.

That was basically the history of British relationships there.

Right.

I love you, you love me, let's never, ever express that to each other.

Let's die frustrated and alone.

And that is the ultimate British love story.

Good for them, they didn't act on it.

How long have you been here?

Coming up on ten years.

Ten years.

And you're still saying frustrated.

Yeah.

You haven't heard how we're talking.

Frustrated.

Oh, no.

That's... I can't do that.

You do hear the difference.

You just choose to ignore it.

In 59, this would be great.

You know, we've just got out of the Second World War, a good percentage of us died,

and now the ones that are left are driving around in these.

That's right.

That's exactly what happened.

The war ended, the English started making these cars, and everybody thought,

oh, okay, we can go back to having fun now.

As much fun as we feel comfortable having.

The English show us how to have fun.

That's true.

Of any group you could pick.

Yeah.

Did you go to college or university, I guess you call it?

Yeah, I did.

Was that frustrating?

It was a little.

My wife was a combat medic, but she joined the army September 12th, 2001.

She was 19.

Wow.

September 12th?

Yeah.

Straight after September the 11th.

Oh, I know what September 12th is after September 11th.

How stupid do I look?

I think I was doing a gig in Pittsburgh.

I said it was a pretty rough gig, and a lot of people are collapsing drunk

outside, and I said to her, it was like a war zone out there, and she said, you know, it wasn't.

I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes to take that back, because the Pittsburgh.

Improv, I do not doubt it's a rough gig, but it's not Fallujah rough.

I have been watching so much of your stuff, I really have to compliment you,

and I'm not going to use this in the show, of course.

Tell me about the show, because I have to say, in all honesty, I'm obsessed with it

now, and I don't even know what the hell it is.

Is it just you talking?

Is that it?

I already touched it.

This is a cool area.

I think this is a good spot.

This is Williamsburg.

This used to be Orthodox Jews, and now it's hipsters.

Two versions, really, of the same thing.

Let's all look alike.

Wow.

That is a judgmental silence you just walked into.

I wouldn't describe this as a hush, because a hush is comfortable.

A hush has a softness to it.

A judgmental silence.

That's a hard silence.

Welcome to my childhood.

Please, do this gently, do this smoothly, okay?

There's a table of women behind you, four different colors of hair,

but be subtle, be smooth.

I've got this.

Yeah.

I was right.

We're dealing with a rinse.

In England, ladies of a certain age, when you want to shake it up a little bit, they'll go for purple.

Do men have anything like that?

I think handsome men might.

I know.

There's no answers for me in a haircut.

Well, you did make an adjustment to your hair.

I did.

For the HBO show?

Which I noted.

It's true.

Before I became aware of your comedy, I kept thinking, what is this guy doing with the bangs?

That's true.

Because men with bangs disturb me.

It's a stand-up.

There's different rules.

It's different.

That's right.

It's different.

You're not supposed to hold it.

In stand-up, you kind of want a mongrel-y, cretinous, pro-life.

To where the limbs are moving.

Out from under a bridge.

Exactly.

Individual.

Suddenly into the daylight.

Yeah.

I guess there's a lot of inside stuff about England which just doesn't translate.

Like, it became clear that as soon as this voice started criticizing America,

and listen, I understand that we have done some terrible things throughout our history.

Nobody's really thinking about that here.

You think?

No.

Nobody cares about England.

So let me disabuse you.

You can relax.

We don't care where you're from.

That is such a hurtful thing to say.

It was a lovely, charming thing.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

The door opens.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Oh.

Have you had a lovely day?

We just think of English as a cute little, it's a curio shop to us.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Have a tea, mister.

Yeah.

You don't even seem English.

You just seem like an unusual person who talks different, but this guy's very funny.

The place that your voice comes from does not feel English.

Even with the accent, and the glasses, and the hair that you got rid of.

The whole thing.

Yeah.

And the... Yeah, the puppety walk and...

I think that's why your stuff is working so well.

This did not work in Britain.

It didn't?

As well as it does here.

I used to go to the Edinburgh Festival every year.

I had a 100% walkout in Edinburgh.

Started with six people, two leave like ten minutes in.

Twenty minutes in, another two leave, I'm down to two, a couple.

The guy says, I'm going to the bathroom, so now I'm just left with the woman,

she's there with her bag, and I see her hand reach down

to her bag about 25 minutes, I said, are you leaving?

She said, yeah, picks up the bag, walks out, I remember the sound of the

door closing behind her, now I'm in an empty room with a sound technician saying,

do you want to carry on?

No, it's over, the gig's over.

Thanks so much.

What about jokes about your wife?

How does that go down?

Does she understand that these are meaningless thoughts and words and that my

wife, it's taken 16 years, she finally understands, I don't mean any of this.

We will put any words together.

I was talking with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.