Chatroom

- Hey. - Hi.

- What is this place? - I'm not too sure yet.

- So, it's not your room? - No, it is. It's my room.

I just haven't decided.

Chelsea Teens, exclamation mark. Is this a joke?

Well, how do you mean?

- Is it yours? - Yeah.

- So what does it mean? - I don't know yet.

A room for Chelsea teens prone to exclamation?

Well, maybe.

And that's you?

Yeah, probably.

Is it you?

It probably is.

Me too!

I'm Emily.

- William. - I'm Jim.

So what's the purpose of Chelsea Teens?

It's a very big question. William?

Er...I think it would be nice to talk and make newfriends.

We can define what the room is later.

So how do we begin to talk?

Choose someone you hate, share it, and we talk shit from there.

- Well, I'm Mo. - Who do you hate, Mo?

People who hate television.

People who think those who watch it are idiots.

I hate those people.

- Because television is so important. - Yeah.

- Do you watch a lot of television? - Tons.

- It's important to have a hobby. - It's not a hobby.

- Important to keep busy? - It's important we study life, William.

Right.

- Who do you hate, William? - Oh, God...

I don't really hate anything.

There must be something that irritates you.

Er...

Grace Rollins.

- I love her Ripley books! - Irritates the shit out of me!

- She's a wonderful writer. - She's a fake.

She's got children into history. That's a positive thing.

Ripley Goes To Pompeii. When I read it,

I didn't feel any need to read any other books about Pompeii or volcanoes.

That's how good it was!

Wow. That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard, Mo.

Really?

Have you got a few minutes? I'd really like to show you something.

Boys and girls, it's the Black Plague...

Grace Rollins stylee.

So, here we have Ripley, our spoilt, smug hero.

Glorious, isn't it?

Ah-ha. It's lute-playing Archibold!

Those wretched rats.

Agh! Argh!

Somehow, he magically saves the day.

Typical Grace Rollins. Don't you just hate her?

Great work. I'm in a media club at Chelsea Tech

and I've never seen work like that. It's amazing.

Besides taking the piss out of Grace Rollins,

do you have a wider point?

How the lies we're told begin early in childhood.

- The suppression of teenagers. - It's a good point.

It's got to come back to our parents, right?

Do you think our parents are scared of us?

Yeah. And they have every right to be.

We're better educated than they were. We're more connected to the world.

They don't see it that way. They see the opposite.

They think of us as an experiment.

It's not clear what my parents are trying to produce in me,

but, regardless of that, they're messing me up.

- But not on purpose. - Oh, no.

It's often a conscious decision to mess you up, Jim.

I'm cleverer, more adaptable than my parents.

But you're still a child to them!

- Oh, definitely. - Well...

take the power, Emily.

- The power? - Yeah, you know how the world works,

what makes people tick.

- Yeah. - Let's have a bit more ambition.

Seize the moment. Make something of the world.

Do, make or kill something?

Yeah. I mean, how about all three?

I mean, to make life count, you've got to use life, right?

So how about using these next two months to arrive into the world?

Wow.

Creative and positive.

You really are a teen exclamation mark.

Oh...I'm sorry. That turned into a lot of shit.

- I think we should meet again. - Definitely.

I'd... I'd really like to chat on a regular basis.

- Me too. - And me. Eva?

Yeah. Yeah, why not.

Great.

What about you, William?

Yeah, let's be friends.

Yes!

She's sitting inside. Are you ready?

OK, then?

Hey.

Models 1 have taken on Ushi.

- Seriously? - Yeah. They called her this morning.

Christ.

Who are you with again?

Models A La Mode.

You should get your portfolio down to Models 1.

You're stunning.

It's true. She is.

- She scowls. - She doesn't always scowl.

I've known her since nursery. It's her default expression.

- Look at her face. - Piss off.

Modelling's more of a hobby for you.

- You're too small. - She's so cute.

Little Polly Pocket!

Ahh! Mo!

I'm dying!

Help me!

I think that's our last session.

Do we need to meet and talk again, do you think?

You're feeling good about things, right?

Yeah, I feel great.

And Paul?

We've all benefitted, for sure.

Thanks for everything.

I feel like you're part of the family.

Well, if you want to make up the spare room...

So, I wish you all the best.

Keep talking.

All right, William?

Thank you.

There comes a time when you see your friends for the posh,

vapid bitches they are.

Well, it's shocking.

Well, I really appreciate your time

- in what seems to be a very... - Let's make it short.

Sure.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Welcome to this two-day course in deportment and public speaking.

This is your room?

This is it.

This is your personality?

This is an aspect of my personality.

Follow me.

This is a room.

Oh, wow.

- Hello! - Hey, William!

- Great. - Are you all right, Emily?

Isn't this the most beautiful place you've ever seen?

I love it.

It's great.

Eva...

I can't remember inviting you here.

I mean, come on, look!

I couldn't stay away!

I'm sorry. You don't mind, do you?

Do you want me to go?

Oh, let him stay, Eva. Come on.

Sure. Whatever.

No-one's sitting here, are they?

What is that?

It's a golden gourami.

Yeah, I just bought it...now.

You bought it dead?

Shit.

So, are you gonna talk, then?

Er...

She's an only child.

It would have been nice to have another one, but it just didn't happen.

It's all so desperate,

but they're turning us into these unbelievably dull people.

It's dull and tasteless. It's a good combination.

I know we could be happy

if they respected themselves for what they are.

So I want to wake us all up.

And I want their love.

I really do.

Well, the closest our family's ever been was when my dad had prostate cancer.

I mean, that malignant growth in his arse was the happiest time of our lives.

Do you think you could fake a semi-terminal illness?

I've never tried...

Or violence, then?

Seriously?

Yeah, a family under attack will always pull together.

Is that true?

A little fear and they'll stop with the social climbing,

get back to the basics of loving their daughter.

- You think so? - It's a wake-up call for them, Emily.

You'd just be doing them a favour.

Right.

So, for the purpose of bringing you closer together,

do you think you could do some random violence on your parents?

- I could try some random violence! - Oh, fantastic.

Of course, I wouldn't know where to start.

Oh, well, myself and William can brainstorm ideas with you.

Just small, petty things to begin with. Right, William?

Premeditated murder I disapprove of.