Havel

Come on…

Please…

What?

-Leave her alone. -Or else what?

Please leave me alone!

And let’s bring up the man responsible for this, the playwright himself.

Oh, come on…

Thank you, but it’s only theatre.

I’d rather like to invite up the man

actually responsible for getting back our freedom of expression.

-Mr. Dubček, come on up, please. -Oh, please.

So that it’s not just my wish, let’s take a vote, democratically.

At least we can try this new thing out, right?

Who wants Mr. Dubček?

Seems pretty clear. But just to be fair, who’s for me?

So, at the wish of nearly everyone, Mr. Dubček, the stage is yours.

Are you crazy? He’s supposed to come to my premiere, too. Now he’ll be scared off.

I am excited about your interest in politics.

We, the communists… have to finally listen to your needs.

Each of us wants to be doing well. It’s only human…

but for all of us to be doing well…

Not afraid of heights, are you?

-Oh, it’s you. -And just who were you looking for?

Someone to, uh…

-To give them flowers when they finish? -To communists? Only on their graves.

Dubček, Dubček, Dubček…

Those two over there. Already arranged. Don’t you dare mess it up again.

Once Olga leaves to count tickets, we disappear. The blonde is a nurse.

And the brunette’s a hairdresser.

I’ll take the hairdresser and you take the nurse, okay?

In case she gives you a heart attack.

Thanks.

Wait, buddy, don’t be so eager. Not yet, not yet!

Please, wait up!

Excuse me.

I’m sorry. I just really had to go and I didn’t want to cut in line.

It’s better in the open air anyways.

I really appreciate your reforms.

Ending the censorship… I mean…

what a relief.

Can you tell me why you dragged me up on stage tonight?

I just wanted you to know that along with your great responsibility,

-you also have our great support. -That’s nice but I need to get home.

Don’t you have a family waiting for you?

Actually yes, a wife.

So give these to her. You don’t have to tell her they’re from me.

Comrade General Secretary!

State Security! StB police here! Enough fun and games, let’s go!

Ladies!

You’ve been drinking!

Comrade!

-Comrade! -Nice!

What did you think of the show?

You got any condoms on you?

You okay, buddy?

Oh, I see…

Come on, give him a little smile now and we’ll take good care of you.

Make an actress out of you. Come on, show us what you’ve got.

Beautiful. I think you have it in you. Write her in somewhere.

Olga?

I need you to read something for me.

Also there’s something I need to tell you.

You know best that in certain…

I mean in certain "private" matters…

I’m not so morally strong.

Couldn’t you, just for once, not tell me?

Well… I don’t want to lie to you.

Tonight, Warsaw Pact troops under Soviet command have invaded our country.

The aim of the occupation is to end the democratic reforms being instituted

under comrade Dubček’s liberal government.

Comrade Dubček urges us to remain calm and not resist the occupiers

until he returns from his emergency meeting in Moscow.

Nice car! Let me have a look inside.

Hold this.

Oh, yeah, German quality.

Not this, nor this…

Are you just going to stand there like some Honor Guard?

Music! Music, that’s always good.

Go home, Ivan,

the girls don’t love you here…

You couldn’t make this shit up.

Guys, we’ve all got to sign it or it’s the end of the Theatre of the Absurd.

No, this is the beginning of the Theatre of the Absurd. Goodbye.

"I hereby declare my support for the occupation by Warsaw Pact troops."

Here’s my script, the latest rewrite.

I added one new character.

It means nothing.

It’s just a stupid signature.

Exactly. It’d be a very stupid signature.

So you’re leaving me here all by myself?

My dear comrades.

I’ve just returned from Moscow

where I signed an agreement,

which will restore peace to our country.

But as part of this agreement we will have to…

We will have to give up some of our recently instituted democratic freedoms

such as the freedom of expression

in order to preserve our socialist system

and to protect the well-being of our working class.

Wait.

Wait, wait…

You can’t park such a car here.

Why not?

Well, look at what your boss drives.

-So where am I supposed to park it? -Anywhere but here.

THE COMMUNIST PARTY OF CZECHOSLOVAKIA

Watch out…

Really?

Excuse me?

-Why work so hard for the commies? -Well, "working for commies"…

I just want to go for a beer after work.

So, first I have to work, right?

Second, I have to roll out these barrels.

Otherwise they won’t get over to the barrel-filling department,

meaning no barrels will get filled,

and the drivers won’t have any barrels to deliver to pubs and bars.

-Hey, buddy, gimme back my bottle. -Oh, here, sorry about that.

Could you also call me "buddy"?

What’s all the entertainment out here? Get back to work, everyone!

Except you, Intellectual!

You stay right here.

APRIL MONTH OF PROTECTION AND WORK SAFETY

Are you actually making an effort to work?

Well, I’m trying to.

We brought you into this collective.

Shit, we accepted you into our family here, and you’re working your ass off.

-Sit down. -Yes, I’m trying to do my best.

Even if my wife thinks I’m not cut out for manual labor.

But you’ve sure as fuck overcome yourself. I got a complaint from above.

-About me? -No, about me. Didn’t say shit about you.

Before you, my workers never met quota. And you, the intellectual, surpass quota.

-I’m sorry to cause you troubles. -Maybe you’re sorry now.

But you worked your ass off. You’re fired.

Didn’t intend for that to happen, huh? Or maybe you did? I don’t care.

You should’ve thought about it. Always fucking think before you start to work.

Because with this approach of yours you’ll never find any job anywhere.

That I can promise. So repeat to me what you’re supposed to do!

-Think? -Fuck thinking! Just don’t do shit!

-Here’s to the theatre! -That bottle cost me one month’s salary!

-To your royalties from the West! -Fill everyone’s glass!

Look out, coming through! Turkey…

stuffed with duck…

stuffed with a pigeon… stuffed with caviar!

Bon appétit!

Are you looking for someone?

-Thank you. -Excuse me. I’m so glad you could come.

So am I.

What did you think of the show tonight?

My husband is a big fan of yours.

My wife is my biggest critic.

They might go together nicely then.

Shouldn’t we be getting home?

Maybe not yet.

We talked about this already, didn’t we?

Great show tonight. I wish my yard was big enough for my own shows.

Step on it!

Harder!

Come help me!

-Where’d you get this cassette? -From my friends.

-You have friends? -I even introduced them to you.

-Oh, the ones with the wedding tonight? -Yeah.

Well, the night is still young.

Shall we?

Thanks, but now shut up for a minute!

This is for my bride.

When you have nothing… Sliding down through the mud…

What the fuck is going on?

Come with me. Come on.

Doesn’t being here with all these outcasts just make you shit your pants?

-I’m a pariah just like you. -Fuck that. You’re a protected animal.

They keep you in your golden cage so you don’t protest against them.

But I don’t want to protest. I just want to do theatre.

-Yeah? How’s that working out so far? -Well, so far, not too well.

Don’t shine it in my eyes. On my hands. It’s not a police interrogation.

I’d also like to make a recording. Just like you do with music. But of my play.

So people can copy and share it… on cassettes.

Yeah, we do have the equipment for that.

Okay, how can I repay you?

Well, what can you do for us?

I’m just messing with you, buddy.

Thanks, buddy.

You bastards, this is a private party!

Leave her alone!

Leave me alone!

They’ve done nothing wrong!

You can’t just come in here and do this!

You’d better get back to the pub.

-You can’t do this for no reason… -Or do you want to get some too?

Olga!

Olga!

What are you still waiting for?

You left the door open on purpose.

It wasn’t open. Only when someone went for a beer.

We have testimony from an StB secret police officer

that the door was open.

Comrade StB officer opened it himself to get inside.

What are you writing over there? Do you have permission to make notes?

Comrades StB officers themselves disturbed a private party.

By opening the door, you made it a public performance.

And you had no permit for it.