Dickensian

MOANING AND GASPING

You can't come now... You can't come now,

it's not ready, it's not ready, it's not time.

What on earth are you doing?

This is not the time to be rearranging ornaments.

Look at the rug! It's soaked! And it's Persian!

Oh, God. Oh...

SHE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

You must have eaten something bad.

I'm having the baby, Frances. It's coming now.

I have to get upstairs.

I have to get everything off, everything...

I'll fetch help!

I can't get upstairs! Frances!

SHE GROANS

I'm sure it isn't coming now.

I'm thirsty. I'm so thirsty.

I'm sure this is just a false alarm.

I'm sure this is quite normal.

Everything off, everything off!

The buttons, Frances! The buttons!

The corset, Frances, the corset!

I'm trying, I'm going as fast as I can - stop shouting at me.

SHE GASPS

It's stopped, it's stopped.

There. What did I tell you? Quite normal.

Your corset was just too tight. "I'm having the baby."

Always so melodramatic, Honoria. It was just your corset.

You can't even look at it.

That's your niece or nephew in here. Part of you.

It is no part of me.

Your appearance is of someone quite mad, you know.

I don't care.

Well, YOU might not, but I do.

Please can you help me with my boots?

I can't bend down. If I could, I wouldn't ask you.

That's quite enough nonsense for one night.

I'm only relieved Papa isn't here.

I assume you can manage on your own now.

I am so very thirsty.

I'll fetch you some milk.

And then I suppose I had better clear up after you.

Of course, the one day Rose is away

is the day you choose to wreak havoc. The hallway is a disgrace.

- I'm sorry. - Yes! You're always sorry after.

Well, that is the point of sorry, Frances.

Who would be sorry before?

And you've done plenty to be sorry about.

Do you want this milk?

Because if you speak to me like that,

I shan't fetch it for you and you'll be thirsty.

Well?

Yes! I want the milk.

DOOR CLOSES

HUBBUB OF CONVERSATION AND LAUGHTER

Bring me the bottle!

Daisy!

There's some good news for you, Bill.

Inspector Bucket's to be sent home.

Won't be breathing down your neck no more.

So much for the new detective, eh?

Er, Mr. Wegg?

We're not pals.

Don't talk to me like we're pals.

Course not, Mr. Sikes. Begging your pardon, sir.

See? Don't have to be all punching and kicking, does it?

Come 'ere. I'm proud of ya.

SHE LAUGHS

Tomorrow, when Mr. Compeyson calls,

he is not to be allowed into the house.

Tell him he can go back to his lady friend.

He has lied to me, Mary. Lied.

Say nothing to the others.

Leave me.

WAILING

SHE SCREAMS

Honoria?

I've got your milk.

You said no more nonsense.

It's coming, it's coming, it wasn't the corset, it really is the baby.

- But it can't come now. - I know!

Why is it coming now?

I don't know, I don't know, but something is wrong,

something is so wrong.

I will fetch Mrs. Gamp.

No, no, not her, I hate her, she stinks, she's drunk, not her.

Well, who, then? We don't have enough money for a doctor,

not until Father is home - Mrs. Gamp is all we can afford.

James. Send for James.

- Oh, good God, no! - This is his baby. His baby. He will come.

He will have enough money for a doctor.

Send for James, please.

SHE SCREAMS

Yes, I will send for him, he will bring a doctor,

all will be well. I'll go now, stay where you are!

SHE GROANS

Hurry! Hurry.

Boy! Boy!

Take this note to Captain Hawdon.

I'm away to my bed.

No, no, you can't. I mean, you can, of course you can,

but after you've taken this note!

Go to the barracks. No. No, not the barracks.

He'll be drinking. He'll be drinking, of that I'm certain.

Like a petulant boy. The Three Cripples.

Go to the Three Cripples first, and if he isn't there,

then go to the barracks.

I'll need a penny, Miss.

I don't have a penny.

But Captain Hawdon will pay you.

He'll give you a sixpence. A shiny, silver sixpence.

It's SO important.

Go! Run!

Run!

Just a minute!

One minute!

I'm coming!

One minute!

Did you send for him?

Yes. What are you doing?

I don't know. It just feels right.

What's all that?

There are always cloths and water.

That much I know.

There are always cloths and water.

So I got some, and an encyclopaedia.

M for Midwifery.

The doctor will need a sensible woman to assist him.

I am she.

Do you promise you sent for James?

I promise.

I want a doctor to come, even if I do not want Captain Hawdon.

Do you think he'll come? After the... the disagreement?

The "disagreement".

Oh, oh, Frances.

The "disagreement"?

He'll come.

Despite the disagreement, despite you and everything you've done,

he will come.

He loves me, you see.

This is his baby.

He loves me so much.

I'm sure you should be in bed.

Oh, what would you know?

If you aren't in bed when Captain Hawdon and the doctor come,

they'll see your legs.

Captain Hawdon has seen more than my legs.

- SHE TUTS Must you? - And the doctor will see MUCH more than my legs.

Or do you think he'll magically discover the baby under

a gooseberry bush?

We don't even have a gooseberry bush.

SHE LAUGHS

I don't know why I'm laughing, it hurts so much.

Oh, it hurts so much.

Then get to bed!

No. I don't want to be in bed. This helps.

It helps just to stay like this.

For a little while at least.

- Shall I leave you? - No. No. No. No.

You have a rose petal in your hair.

No, don't. Don't. It's pretty.

Let it stay.

MUSICIANS PLAY

Do you want the same again?

Yeah.

Oi, Daise, can I have the same again?

- Get off me. - How are you?

- Leave off. - Oh, don't be like that.

Oi, I said get off me.