N.Y.C. Underground

- ( Gull caws ) - Man: You know,

some people don't like Brooklyn.

Me, i...

I think it's the land of opportunity.

It's a place, you know, where a man can

rise up and

build his dreams here, you know?

It's-- overcome

any obstacle that fate sets in his path.

For instance,

an obstacle that has been set in my path

is the federal bureau of investigation.

And by striving

to overcome that obstacle,

i found that the FBI...

Are suspiciously

well-informed as to...

The time and place...

Of certain confidential transactions

on which my business depends.

And a number of these transactions occurred on your watch.

Which makes me wonder if--

if you might be the source of that information.

- ( Mumbling ) - ( Laughing )

- Okay. - ( Chair scraping )

Well, this concludes my introductory remarks.

I'm now going to turn

the proceedings over to Mr. white.

He's going to crush

and mutilate

various portions of your body

until he's convinced

he knows your thinking on this matter.

- ( Chuckles ) - ( Grunting )

Yeah.

Man: You wanna talk? This what you get right here.

- ( Moans ) - Yeah, baby!

- Hey, rat, look at me. Look at me! - ( Choir singing )

- Look at me, bitch! - Man: Whoo!

That's how you do it.

Woman: Greg?

Greg, you don't wanna be late!

Greg?

Greg!

Never marry, my son.

Your father's parting words of advice.

I heard that.

Is your brother home yet?

- ( Rock music playing ) - ( Laughs )

Hey, that's a lot of salvia.

Guy: Oh, that's a lot, dude.

- Oh, dude, it's all right, calm down. - ( Groans )

Oh, there he goes, there he goes.

He's gonna trip out.

- Come on, come on! - Shit, dude-- ( Shouting )

It's the Internet superstar.

10,000 hits since last night.

Dude, check it out.

- Oh my God. - I can't feel my fucking hands!

( Shouting, swearing from phone )

Woman over p.A.: Bobby kroupa, please report to the principal's office.

Bobby kroupa, please report to the principal's office.

- Hey, Dylan. - What's up, guys?

- Dylan, my man. - What's up, dude?

- All right. - What's going on, man?

- All right. See you after practice, all right? - Yeah.

- ( Car honks ) - Give it up, d.

- Oh shit! - Give it up, d!

- Get the fuck off me! - Where's that secret bang for tonight, man?

- You'll know when i know, dude. - Hey, man, give it up

or you're gonna have to carry me home. I ain't playin' with you.

Brooklyn somewhere, man. I told you, i don't know yet.

- Man, Brooklyn? No. - Yeah.

- You're shittin' me right now, no. - I'm shitting you not, man.

Delacorte's opening a club out there.

A sorta last-outpost- of-the-empire kind of thing.

So that's that guy you're talkin' about, right?

That be throwin' all those amazing parties and stuff like that?

That's the one, yeah.

Hey, too cool, man.

Too cool for you, man. Just don't embarrass me, dude.

Who, me? Hey, is Chloe gonna bring that new girl with her?

- I don't know. - You gotta ask her, Dylan.

I need her to be there. I need her to be there. She's gorgeous.

- Can you ask her or something like that? - ( Girl laughs )

Dylan: She's right there, man. Why don't you ask her yourself?

It might be better. I know she likes me. I'm just sayin' in general.

- Hey, guys. - What's up, Chloe?

- Get a room. - Mmm, hi.

- What's up, Jessica? - ( Huffs )

We've been through this, Sam.

You're way too young for me.

You just turned 18 last week.

- Well, then you're a week too late, right? - ( Laughter )

- Chloe: All right, so? - Dylan: So?

What's up with this secret plan of yours tonight, huh?

I'll pick you up like, uh, like 9:00, okay?

I don't know. It depends on where we're going.

- Mm-hmm. - We're going to Brooklyn.

- Chloe: Brooklyn? - Yeah, it's in Brooklyn.

- What? As in Brooklyn? - My parents don't let me go to Brooklyn.

Why would you tell your parents?

- Who's this? - She's fine.

I mean, it could be fun. It could be like a safari or something, right?

- ( Laughter ) - Shut up! Right?

It's a Simon delacorte deal, guys. It's gonna be good.

- Chloe: Babe, that's tight. - Dylan: So 9:00?

Chloe: Yeah, I'll see you at 9:00.

- All right. - Bye.

- Jessica: Come on. - Girl: Okay, let's go.

- ( Girls laugh ) - Hey, so I'll see you later, Jessica, all right?

She's feelin' me, man.

- Aw, he's too much. - He is so sweet.

- I don't why you have to be so mean. - Then you date him then.

- He's cute. - Don't get me into this whole thing!

- Dylan's cute, come on! - But look at you:

"Oh yeah, Brooklyn sounds like a great idea.

- That should be fun." - Shut up!

"Pick me up at 9:00, baby! I'll be waiting for you."

Shut up. It's gonna be so much fun.

Man, i cannot believe you're hittin' that.

- Can't-- just can't believe it. - What can i say, man?

Sweets come to the sweet, my friend.

What can i say?

- You were all over him. - All right.

How do i dress for Brooklyn, okay?

- I don't know. Barney's? - Uh, duh, scoop?

- Oh! Totally scoop. - Yeah.

- Girl, you are so ignorant. - You so ghetto.

- ( Laughter ) - All right, you guys, we need a cab.

- Look, right here. - Okay, here.

- Where to, ladies? - 70th and Madison.

All right. Here we go.

Yo, man, i gotta bounce. Give me the ball.

Go-- go long. Get outta here.

Whoo! It's on tonight!

- So how was your day, master Dylan? - ( Chuckles )

Hey, uh, this thing tonight,

this is an opportunity that i got you, you understand?

- Yeah, i know. - No, i just wanna tell you something.

You know, up here with your friends and school,

you're the big man. But, uh, where I'm taking you...

- Okay? - I know, i know.

You're Gandalf, you're Xavier.

- I bow to you. - Whatever. Look, just follow my lead, you hear me?

- I know, all right? - Okay.

- Greg: There he is. - Oh, there you are.

Oh, ma, you're lookin' hot!

- How was school? - School was excellent.

I aced my chemistry test,

and Ms. somerset said she might read my essay out at assembly.

That's wonderful, sweetheart.

News to warm the cockles of a father's heart.

- And there is nothing like warm cockles, right? - ( Greg laughs )

Ms. somerset did always have a soft spot for you jocks.

Well, look who came in for a visit.

Good to see you too, Dylan.

Logan is home for the whole weekend.

- Isn't that a nice surprise? - Aw, sweet.

Doesn't Harvard need you on weekends too though?

Translate emergency Latin or something?

Well, look at you. You are getting so smart.

- What does that mean? - Yeah, Logan, what does that mean?

Didn't you say something about being late?

Oh! Oh, yes yes yes, we have to go.

Oh, hey, wait, you're not taking Ernie, are you?

I just need him to take me and some friends to a party later.

Dude, where would you go? It's not like you have any friends.

I'm supposed to pick up Lindsay at her thing at bam.

- Then take a cab! - Hey, don't fight, boys.