A Street Cat Named Bob

Cheers, mate.

Yo.

Hey, Elvis. You've seen D?

I'm not looking for D.

You on the dollies again?

Do you see a welcome sign over my head?

Go away, Baz.

Brass monkeys, man.

Where are you crashing tonight?

No, seriously. You've seen D?

Seriously, I'm on the script.

I mean it this time.

Yeah, who doesn't?

Well, tell D I'm looking for him, yeah?

Three quid, mate.

Eighty and two...

...four, six, eight, ten...

You're short.

It's all I've got.

It's three quid, mate.

Come on, I've barely eaten all day.

It's three quid.

- Can you let me off 9p? - No!

All right, I'll tell you what. I'll play you a little song, yeah?

How about that? Play you a little song...

...and you let me off 9p, okay? All right.

- Thanks, mate. That's great. - Don't come back.

- Okay. - Don't want you here. Go on!

All right! Okay, I'm going.

Thanks a lot.

Get out of here!

Sorry, sorry.

Yo, Elvis. Get in.

- Whose is it? - The bloke who forgot to lock it.

I found D.

Have some.

Hey! I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. No, no, no.

That's nice, that's nice.

- You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do. You're late.

- Who are these? - I don't know. It's your car!

How long have they been here? Hey!

What are you doing in my car? You didn't knock on the door?

- Why should I? - James.

James!

James! James, come on, wake up.

- You can't do this! Not now! - Did you see them get in?

- Do I look like a genie? - From a certain angle.

Hey! What? Come back here!

- Get after him, will you? Hey. - This isn't Batman and Robin, you know.

- Hey. - Pay for the ticket and move.

Wake up. You're in my car. Hey.

Wait, he's...

He's not moving.

Did they bring my guitar?

Nice to see you, too.

Sorry, I'm not exactly myself this morning.

That's a matter of opinion.

- They brought it to me. - To you?

Well, it isn't our first time at this circus, is it?

I'm sorry.

I know I made a mistake. I messed up.

Tell me something I haven't already heard 20 times today.

Good.

I prefer the sound of silence to bullshit.

How do you feel?

Like death.

Look at me, I'm...

It's horrible.

Turns out you've also got hepatitis.

Congratulations.

Ever wonder why you see so many old alkies, never junkies?

You're all full of good news this morning, aren't you?

You can't mix heroin with methadone.

You OD. You know this stuff.

- Yeah. - Do it again, and you'll probably die.

I know. Look, I...

- I'm sorry... - Silence over bullshit.

Right.

- I'll see you when you're discharged. - Yeah.

- Hi. - Did you nick an orderly's uniform?

No, I didn't nick it.

A nurse gave it to me because they lost my T-shirt.

Right.

You know the drill. Sign that one...

...and take that one to the chemist every day for your methadone.

Check in with me every two weeks.

And addicts who stop the methadone and go back to heroin...

- ...have a higher percentage of O Ding. - Of ODing. Yeah, I know this already.

It's my job to tell you. Fall off methadone...

...and it's more likely you'll OD the next time you do heroin.

And you could well die.

Yeah.

Is there anyone I can call?

Any relative anywhere?

I'm kind of solo these days.

No word from your dad?

Or mum?

Yeah.

"Get lost."

- I guess that's two words. - Here you go.

Thank you.

You're gonna play something for me?

You wanna hear me sing?

Are you any good?

Okay.

Here you are, mate.

Hey, get moving.

Come on, on your way.

I wouldn't be begging you if it wasn't a special case.

Special?

I've got three single mums waiting for a spot.

I've got a sweet old pensioner getting kicked out of his son's house.

They all need emergency housing. They're all special.

Please.

What's so special about a drug addict? Why this one?

I don't know.

Every now and then, one comes along...

...and you just know they have it in them to be clean.

I think this is his last shot.

He really wants to be clean, but he's got nothing.

No support system at all.

I have to get him off the street, or I'm gonna lose him.

No. I'm not giving a spot to a user.

- He's in the program. - He falls off methadone, he's out.

- Period. - He won't.

I hope.

Come on, everybody.

Come on, then. Albert, this side.

- Val? - Hey. Come in.

Welcome home.

- You okay? - Yeah.

It was a little bit stuffy, so I just opened a window.

Hot water.

Look, I've gotta run.

- Keys. - Right, yeah.

Val, I...

You're welcome.

And I put some cereal in the kitchen and milk in the fridge.

I don't know what to say.

Say you're gonna stay in the program and you won't miss our next meeting.

I promise. I promise you.

Cross my heart, hope to die.

Okay.

I'll see you out.

Whoever's there, you better leave!

I mean it!

I've got a weapon here!

I'm seriously armed!

That was you making all that noise?

How did you get...

I see.

You're a thief, are you?

Stealing all my corn flakes?

Hey, are you friendly?

Guess that answers that.

No. Come on. This way.

There you go.

They're better with a bit of milk, actually.

I'm gonna get this out.

You're not a very good thief, by the way.

Next time, try and be a bit quieter.

That's the trick, I hear. Come on.

Up you come. Look.

Look at that.

There's gonna be a family worried about you.

You'd better go home now.

No, no, no.

This way.

I know. But I think it's time, you'd better go home.

Hey, no, this way. There you go.

Go on. Go out there.

That's it. Go on.

No, don't look at me like that, okay?

All right, then.

One night, okay?

And then I'm gonna take you back to your owner.

Yeah, deal?

There you go.

I'll see you in the morning, okay?

Over there?

Excuse me.

Did you lose a cat?

Is it there?

No?

Excuse me?

Did you lose a cat?

Hello?

I've got a little ginger cat down here, if anyone's looking for it.

Hello?

So, what number life are you on?

Apparently, I'm on my ninth.

Hello, did anybody lose a cat?

- Get out of here! Go away! - Thanks.

Come on.

There you go.

Someone will come looking for you.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you.

- Hi. - Methadone, right?

Thank you, mate.