The Long Island Railroad Massacre: 20 Years Later

I think that it's so important to know that...

the grief is there. There is never closure.

I hate that word.

I hate it all the time.

"Well at least this will bring closure."

It will never bring closure.

How can it bring closure.

But life does go on.

And as I said earlier...

you learn how to smile again.

You learn how to laugh again.

You know people die every day.

Some in their sleep.

Some in pain because of their illness.

Violence.

But we all have to go forward in some way.

- OK. - Right.

That morning...

before the boys went to work.

I said when I get home I want the tree up.

Because we had our Christmas party the following week.

And I wanted to start decorating it.

As they walked out the doors.

You know, I love you both.

But I remember that moment because it was like...

to see the two of them, going off together

was just an absolute beautiful, beautiful memory.

And that's something I will always have.

At this time of the year December 7th,

it was a cold day.

I had a matter to attend to down at the

Securities and Exchange Commission, lower Manhattan.

I was working at an investment banking firm called Bear Stearns

and we had stayed in late for the past couple of nights,

and the guys said "Hey look, it is getting close to Christmas,

everybody needs to go home,

see their family, do a little bit of Christmas shopping.

So why don't we get out of here a little bit early."

Back then we took the 5:33 train...

from Manhattan to Maryland Avenue each night, then home.

It was only the 4:33 on December 7th.

That night was a little bit different because

the 5:33 wasn't my normal train.

And I was coming home on that train to meet my mother

to pick up a layette for my daughter.

I went in a little late that day, and I was going to come home early.

So I wasn't wearing a suit and tie, I was wearing an overcoat.

I got into the City around 10 O’clock,

and as I was leaving round 2...

one of my estimators says...

"Can you stay here?"

so what, we have to get this estimate out.

So come on, his name was Herb, I gotta get out of here.

What was it for? It was for err...

this is funny...

for Andy Warhol Museum.

Lafayette Street, in the city.

So I helped him with that.

I said I gotta get out of here.

It was 5 O'clock and I had to make my train.

I remember turning round to him, I said...

"Boy it will be great if we get this job Herbie."

Remember Andy Warhol said we have our 15 minutes of fame.

Little did I know.

I remember meeting my father in Penn Station lobby...

going to our train.

We had almost actually missed the train.

I didn't get out of the office until almost 10 after 5.

And I walked down to 5th Avenue.

It's very rare during Christmas season you'll ever see a cab.

And I figured, you know what I'm going to grab the cab...

and see if I can still make the 5.33.

In desperation, I run to the top of the staircase

and I still see the train parked on the platform.

You know, it was a normal ride home.

I remember being pregnant and hot.

I took my coat off, had it in the rack.

I'm sitting there reading my paper as usual and I hear:

"Excuse me is that seat taken?" I look up...

and there is this girl, beautiful angelic face.

She sits next to me.

I recall that night that...

a woman started talking to me.

And she was telling me about, she was very nervous.

Because she was having knee surgery the next day.

We make all our stops, we get to New Hyde Park.

And at that point.

I stand up, have my briefcase in my hand

and I wait by the door.

You know you only have two minutes

to Merillon Avenue train stations.

So, I remember I started closing my book up.

And... starting leaning forward.

When you leave the New Hyde Park Station,

the train has to cross over New Hyde Park Road.

Before we cleared the roadway...

I heard four loud cracks

against the windows of the third car...

directly across from me.

He was sitting right behind me.

He shot the person across.

I heard him shoot.

I stood up.

I faced him.

Tried to grab him.

Unfortunately, he had the automatic.

John Forni was sitting directly in front of Colin Ferguson...

and he stood up...

getting ready to disembark at Merillon Avenue.

He went to reach the rack above to get his things and...

of course he was standing right in front of Ferguson.

When he stood up, and he got shot,

he knew, he too probably thought that he was going to...

his life was going to end that day.

He thought that he would stand as long as he could...

and take as many bullets as he could...

saving other people's lives.

He shot me in both hands.

He got me in the right hand, then through the arm

and a couple of other places. I was shot five times.

At first, I guess I thought it was fire crackers...

going off behind me.

And just then I was hit in the back of my head.

The boney part of my skull.

On the side, in the back.

Four or five or six men...

started to run up the aisle

away from the rear section of the car

where these loud noises were occurring.

And with that...

a total panic set in.

I fell to the floor.

I heard somebody say: "Oh, he has a g--"

As if he was hit.

I hear gunfire.

At the rear end of the car. I look.

I thought, what the hell is going on.

I look down, and there is a man...

shooting, left and right.

There was panic and somebody was saying...

this is real, that it's not fireworks.

That's when people running up the aisle,

to try to get out of the car.

I looked at myself, I was seven and half months pregnant.

Looked down, looked under the seats.

Thought I could get there.

But was afraid that if I...

got under the seat and he got as far as I was

that I would be trapped.

So I made the decision to try to get into the second car.

When I got fully into, just about fully into the aisle...

is when I got shot in the left shoulder.

I continued up the aisle...

to get as far away from him as possible.

And as I got to the front of the train, of that car...

the aisles had become, literally, littered with bodies.

And he started moving down my end of the car.

Gun emptied.

He stopped, went back. I saw him bend at the seat...

put another clip in the gun...

and now come down to the other end of the car.

I could see him crossing through the vestibule.

I pulled by briefcase up over my head and shoulders.

And I thought I was going to die right there.

He was getting closer and closer.

Bullets are flying around.

And this girl, Marie, who is sitting next me to me...

she starts crawling.

And I'm looking at her saying no, no, don't go there.

Before you know it she looked up and he was...

I don't know, maybe eight to ten feet away.

And he pointed and shot her.

Shot her in the head. Her head exploded.

Right next to me, it was all over me.

It was horrible.

And at that instance I looked up and there he was...

looking at me, staring me straight in the face.

I said, dear God I'm dead.

And he pointed the gun, he picked his hand up.

And I put my hand over my face and prayed to God.

I heard one shot go over my head.

The other one hit my arm...

right into my chest.

He was...

returning. And me, I'm lying on the floor thinking,

I've been shot three times already.

And begging God for my life.

Then I started asking God to take my life,

because I didn't want to get shot again.

We had pulled into Merillon Avenue.

I'd heard something that said we've got him.

And I lifted my head up over this five seat section...

looked down

and I could see that there were people holding him down.

The whole thing took less than two minutes.

I looked up at some women and I said I'm pregnant

and I've been hit.

They picked me up, got me through the second car

and out to the grass

I had former training