The Short History of the Long Road

Clint?

Clint!

How did you get up there?

First rule of magic.

You know that.

That's not funny, you scared me.

It's time.

I think it's fine.

Can I just finish my hot dog?

I just don't see what the big rush is.

We keep moving.

Good?

Looks awful.

No.

Come on now.

Thank you.

Got it? Yep.

So Cheryl must have had blue eyes.

You know the book you're reading there is out of date.

It used to be that to determine the eye color

was a single gene trait,

but now they're saying that it's actually

eight different genes that determine

the amount of melanin in an iris.

If I have blue eyes, and you have brown eyes,

then Cheryl must have had blue eyes too.

Sure.

You don't know?

What's your guess?

My guess is blue.

There you go.

That's in your book, right?

She's probably still somewhere in the South, right?

South, California, the moon.

Doesn't matter.

It was just a question.

Yeah, well the point is that

she zigged and we zagged.

800 books I believe.

I mean, who has that in their library?

Oh miss, I'll check that out for you.

Do you have a library card, dear?

You don't have to pay 400 dollars for a new sink.

No, they're just trying to rip you off.

Alright, there you go.

There it is.

It just fits on like so.

There's these little nubs on the nut.

Okay. It fits perfectly on it,

and you turn it clockwise and done.

So it must come in pretty handy

knowing how to fix everything, huh?

Yeah, we wouldn't get very far

without knowing how to fix things.

Humans have been a migratory species

since we've been on Earth.

Nola and I are just going back to our roots.

She's been on the road since before

she could even walk.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

You weren't worried about her adjusting?

Adjusting to what?

Life without brain-numbing television?

Then no.

You know, we're pursuing I would call it

the low budget high experience model of living.

No amount of money can buy an education like that.

I mean, we've been...

You know, you could've fixed that with your eyes closed

and one hand tied behind your back.

She was ready to go out and buy herself

a whole new sink.

You're just always looking for new converts.

You know, society will be much better off

once we build an army of self-sufficient agitators.

If we consume less, we produce less.

But you'd earn less.

Yes, but you notice that I did not

teach her how to fix the sink.

You see?

Now, granted, the world is not ready

to bend to our ways, I will give you that.

Not everyone wants to live like us.

Of course they do.

Fear is the only thing holding these people back.

They've got their driveways,

they've got their backyards, got their pools.

We have our freedom.

Right now we just have a lot of laundry.

Let's go.

You can picture the rest up in your head.

Some people watch it 'til the end, you know.

Yeah, some people don't know what they're missing.

Come on.

What's going on?

I can never stay until the end of a movie.

We're always on your time.

I can't watch 'til the end of a movie

without you making me hop around.

Do you know how exhausting that is?

Thanks.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Night Nola.

Am I to expect another full day of the silent treatment?

Can't give your old man a break?

Guess where we're going next.

Doesn't matter.

Okay, well then how about I give you a hint?

Your namesake.

I've said too much.

We're not really going.

You said I could only go once I'm 21.

Well I'm sure we'll still find a way

to get ourselves into trouble.

Are you serious?

We're going to New Orleans.

No better time than now, right?

You promise. Cross my heart.

Where'd you get that?

Found it at the pool.

Suits you.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Hey. - How's it going?

Is this your ride?

This is the ride, yes.

This is The Hulk.

Oh, sweet man.

Thank you. The Hulk?

Need a better paint job for that name.

Y'all come down for the van festival?

What's that?

It's a big annual gathering.

One of those gatherings where

everyone heads back after to their

cozy little homes and describe

how they had a crazy weekend in the wild.

No.

Nola and I, we get ourselves million dollar views

wherever we go without paying property taxes.

So, you travel full time?

Yes sir.

What did you do before?

Well, I actually had a bar.

What was it called?

Nola.

It was called The Mercury Bar.

This was in Albuquerque?

Weren't we there like last Summer?

No it was two Summers ago, man.

North Carolina.

Hey, good morning.

Good morning.

Head's pounding this morning.

How'd you sleep?

Good.

Where to?

New Orleans.

Yeah, yeah, we will.

Just, getting my head on.

I thought you said we were really going this time.

Yes.

New Orleans is sinking, and I don't want to swim.

What?

Watch the rocket.

Clint.

Clint, stop.

Dad...

Clint?

Dad.

I need you to complete this.

Take your time.

Hello, yes, we have a minor here.

Her father, no other living family.

Yes, we have her waiting here.

Where's the bathroom?

Just down the hallway

on the right-hand side.

Please.

Shame on them for letting them all go to waste.

Well today's your lucky day.

All of those hot dogs are yours.

They were gonna go in the trash.

Thank you so much.

That's... No problem.

Thanks.

Where are you driving to

in the middle of the night?

I'm just on a cross country road trip.

Where'd you start out from?

Arizona.

Arizona, I've never been there.

Thank you so much.

My pleasure.

That's a big van you're driving all by yourself.

I hope you don't mind my saying that.

You know, I could never drive such a big vehicle.

Yeah, my dad taught me.

And you're driving straight through,

all the way from Arizona.