Toxic Crusaders: The Movie (Toxic Crusaders The Movie)

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I had no friends, no girls that hugged

me til I got radioactive ugly.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

I live in a dump, becausethe rent's real low.

Got a little pet Blobbie who loves me so.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Now me and the boys fight against wrong, though we're

hideously deformed.

Hey, I'm sitting on top of the world.

With my mop, tutu, and girl.

Whoa!

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic Crusaders.

Toxic!

DJ (ON RADIO): Good morning, Island City!

This is radio station WOPU, reminding

everyone we've gota stage 87 smog

alert, so wear your gas mask.

And remember-- don't get caught outside during an acid rain

storm.

It's a horrible way to go.

I love this town!

Do you know why I love this town?

Because you own it?

Because it's the most polluted city in the world.

And I, Dr. Killemoff, made it that way.

Look.

I know you're an evil genius, doc.

What I don't know is where you want

me to dump this grossoleum 90.

Ah, yes, grossoleum, the deadliest

toxic waste known to man.

Dump it in the last unpolluted city

in New Jersey-- Tromaville.

I don't know if that's such a good idea, doc.

What if some complete and hopeless nerd

falls into the grossoleum and transforms

into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size

and strength?

Don't be ridiculous!

A complete and hopeless nerd.

Oh, I wish I wasn't a complete and hopeless nerd.

Maybe then I'd have a girlfriend who loves me for who I am.

Or at least confuses me with someone else.

Hey, Bimbette.

Look at Melvin Junko.

What a complete and hopeless nerd.

Yeah.

Gag with me a rake.

Melvin's a real nuclear puker.

How about if we have some fun with old Melvin

and show everybody what a bogus geek he is?

That's a def idea, Bonehead.

What's the plan?

Whoa!

You think he's stupid enough to fall for it?

Oh!

Never mind.

Hey, I'll catch you later, babe.

Hi, Melvin.

You look really, really cute today.

I do?

Oh, yeah.

In fact, I think it's time I dumped scuzzy old Bonehead

and started dating a really cute guy like you.

You do?

Would I lie?

So what are you doing night?

How about if you meet me at the pool after the club

closes, and we get to know each other better?

Know what I mean?

No.

But I'll be there.

Great.

Oh, would you also do me one big favor?

You want to hear me burp?

No.

I want you to wear a special outfit on our date tonight.

A tutu?

Oh, gee.

I don't now.

Please, Melvie?

It would mean so much to little Bimbette

if big handsome Melvie-welvie wore the cute little tutu.

Aw, OK.

If it means so much to you.

You sure you don't want to hear me burp?

What a moron.

Oh, boy!

This is my lucky day!

I got a girlfriend!

Yippee!

Sorry.

Gee.

I hope Bimbette thinks I look OK for our date.

Pink isn't really my color.

I hope my mop doesn't clash.

Yoo-hoo!

Bimbette!

I'm ready!

Bimbette?

Get a load of Melvin.

He fell for it.

Nice tutu, Melvin.

You look real good in pink.

Whoa!

I just had the strangest feeling

I made a mistake sending that grossoleum to Tromaville.

A complete and hopeless nerd?

Nah.

Please, help me!

I'm changing into something horrible.

I'm changing into .

A hideously deformed creature of superhuman size

and strength!

A what?

Oh.

I got a big problem.

Mom, it's me, Melvin.

Melvin, my son.

Oy.

Oh!

Oh, what am I going to do?

Now that I'm a hideously deformed

creature of superhuman size and strength,

where will I even live?

Try the toxic waste dump.

Thanks, Mom.

I knew I could count on you.

My new home.

Oh, well.

I guess it isn't so bad.

Look at the bright side-- how many people have

a home that glows in the dark?

Well, hi, little fella.

Why, you're a cute little blob.

Let's see.

What'll I call you?

I know.

How about Blobbie?

Well, Blobbie.

Here's where I will live my life.

All alone.

With no one to love or care for me.

But you.

Hey!

What's that beautiful sound?

La, la, la, la.

The world is beautiful.

The world is love.

Hey, sweet thing.

You got something we want.

Your-- your accordion, dumbo.

Give it.

Now.

Hey, this-- this is weird.

Something bad is happening nearby.

I can feel it in my body.

Somebody help me, please!

Let go of my accordion!

Now I'm sure.

Somebody's hurting an accordion.

Help!

Help!

Hey, you punks.

Leave that girl alone.

Whoa.

Look, fellas.

It's Melvin the mop boy.

Your days of picking on nerds and accordion players

are over, Bonehead.

Let's get him.

This'll teach you to mess with a hideously deformed creature

of superhuman size and strength.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, man!

What's happening to me?

I better get out of here!

Feel lucky, punk?

Not really, no.

Whoa!

Are you OK?

Fine, thanks to you.

I did lose my contact lenses so I can't see too good.

Gosh.

You're very handsome.

Boy, this really is my lucky day.

Yvonne.

Gee.

That's a pretty name.