Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

I'm not pregnant-- I totally thought I was, but I'm not.

Why didn't you tell me you thought you were pregnant?

- I'm not. - I can respect that

you didn't want to talk about it before,

so can you please respect that I don't want to talk about it now?

Good night, Jenna.

It had been a week since Matty found out

about the pregnancy scare,

and he seemed to be doing everything in his power

to ensure we didn't have another.

Is everything okay?

Sure, babe.

He kept insisting everything was fine,

but his actions said otherwise.

It was weird.

We weren't talking, we weren't doing it,

and what was worse, we weren't talking

about not doing it.

Our communication was at an all-time low.

Hold it right there.

In light of the tragic and untimely demise

of Ricky Schwartz,

I am taking precautionary measures

to make our school a peanut-free zone.

Or rather, a pea-not zone.

Are you in possession of any nuts

or nut-related products?

I'll be confiscating this.

Nut check.

All clear.

I'm gonna have to stop you right there, J.

When was the last time you had a nut in your mouth?

It was a good question.

Okay, I'm not saying I'm at an 11

on the panic meter, but I am inching towards a 7.

Something is definitely off in my relationship.

I'd say it's pretty clearblue easy.

Matty's freaked out over the pregnancy scare.

How did you know about that?

Jake and I tell each other everything.

That's unhealthy. And creepy.

Next thing you know, you'll be one

of those couples who shares an email.

But even more shocking than the potential mama drama

is that it came from Jake's mouth.

I'm sorry.

I was gonna tell you.

- I tried to call-- - It's chills.

- I'm already over it. - I get it, J.

There are certain things we should keep to ourselves.

- What things? - Just things.

Back to the hot topic at hand,

I know you and Matty are all action, no talk,

but have you asked him if everything's cool?

- Of course I did. - What did he say?

"Sure, babe."

He "sure-babed" you?

"Sure, babe" is one step away

from "whatever, honey," which is the gateway phrase

to "take care," which we all know is the end.

Okay, now I'm at an 11.

If you dipsters seriously think I killed Ricky,

your IQs must be as small as your--

Fuck it.

I'm perfectly fine eating alone.

- Go have lunch with Hamil-tramp. - I don't feel like it.

I'd rather hang with you.

Why aren't you eating?

I guess my murder rap made me lose my appetite.

Ever since Ricky bit it, everyone's afraid of me.

Even that airbag, Lissa, is keeping her distance.

- You poor thing. - I know.

I haven't outed anybody, made anyone transfer,

or said the word harelip

- in three days. - Come on, Sades.

This is all gonna blow over.

No one really thinks you're a murderer.

Miss Saxton, this is PI Mulville,

stands for Personal Investigator.

Private Investigator.

We're gonna have to take you downtown

to answer some questions.

And by downtown, I mean my office.

You better eat your granola bar

before it's confiscated by the nut patrol.

While I had no idea what was going on in Matty's head,

Jake knew what Tamara packed for lunch.

Henry.

Am I having a seizure,

or did some weird stuff just go down?

You guys, this is my boyfriend Henry.

We're in love.

If every couple had a different way of interfacing,

Matty and I were somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

Maybe the way to get us back on track

was to go back to basics--

sex in a forbidden place,

where one of us was likely to come out

the other end needing a tetanus shot.

But it was worth the risk

because the make out had stopped the freak out.

With Matty and me, getting some action

always spoke louder than words.

I've got to get to class, but this was fun.

- That's it? - We can hang out tonight.

I had no reason to be insecurious.

We were longer sophomores at sex.

We were juniors.

And as such, we were going to take our time.

Yeah, let's hang out.

Cool. Then we can talk.

It was time to stop worrying and start freaking.

Matty wanted to talk.

Whoo!

Was that good for you?

Yeah, that was good for me too.

Aw, damn. My shirt's on backwards.

Thanks for the tune-up.

Heard someone got lucky in the sanctuary.

Word sure travels fast.

- So are you and Henry in love? - We're soul mates.

Where did you two meet?

In line waiting for the new iPhone.

- What's Henry's middle name? - Bao-Zhi.

It means "full of wisdom."

- Boxers or briefs? - Beckhams.

I didn't think Henry was your type.

I thought you liked tall, skinny, Asian boys

with a sense of humor and a cowlick

an inch above their right ear.

- You mean like Fred Wu? - Fred who?

Fred Wu. I know you know I know him.

Oh, right.

I know everything about you

because your life is so fascinating.

I can't help but follow every little thing

- that's happening in it. - Hmm.

I'm kidding.

How long did Henry wear braces?

Trick question. He never wore them.

_

_

- What did you say? - Nothing.

Where were you the night Ricky Schwartz died?

Hell if I know. Home, I guess.

Is there anyone who can corroborate your alibi?

We're not convinced there was any foul play.

We are just trying to get some clarity.

There was evidence of, uh,

sexual nature at the scene.

Ricky was a man whore,

which means there are probably, like, 300 suspects.

If we called your folks,

would they confirm you were home that night?

Don't call my parents.

Call my lawyer.

You got a problem with us calling your parents?

No, but I have a problem with you.

I'm curious.

Do you and your sister wives rotate clothing,

or is that your own personal peasant skirt?

Deflecting-- an obvious sign of guilt.

I can put an end to this bitch hunt right now.

- Can we have some privacy? - You mind waiting outside?

Not from him, from you.

I didn't sleep with that asshole,

and a test will prove it.

Sweetie, we don't have money for fancy lie detectors.

No, genius. A pap smear.

I'm a virgin.

But be warned.

If you actually force me to do that,

I will sue you,

and then you two can bad-cop, worse-cop

on the unemployment line.

You're welcome.

- I'm back. All done? - For the record, Miss Saxton,

I don't think you killed Ricky.

But I get why people think you did.

No wonder she's such a grumpster.

Girl needs to get laid.

Matty doesn't want to get laid, he wants to talk.

I can't be alone with him.

I am not emotionally prepared for the talk right now.

I need another day to process.

Wait. I have an idea.

What's that thing that you've been begging me to do

since we were kids?

BFGFBFF!

I have been dreaming about this since I was six.

And then I met you, and then you met Matty,

and then you met Jake, and then you cheated

on Jake with Matty, and then I started dating Jake,

and now you're with Matty, and here we are.

Our whole lives have been building up to this moment.

BFGFBFF--

the boyfriend-girlfriend- best-friends-forever

double date. The D-D is implied.

That is completely insane, and I am all in.